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Is it normal to feel like becoming a mom will be hard but to not freak out about it and will it hit me sometime soon that i will be a mom.
The constant need for attention.
You almost literally have to wait on newborns hand and foot. Some are good sleepers and just sleep but for most that I have encountered they require constant attention.
Prepare yourself. If you were thinking about taking regular showers, sitting down to regularly eat meals, peeing alone, dressing nicely, sleeping in and doing things that you enjoy for the first few months of that child's life, hopefully you either have a nanny, an awesome partner, or your child is one of those non-fussy sleepers. I wouldn't count on the last one.
Not trying to be discouraging here, but you'd better rest up now.
And to answer your second question, I have heard of women being totally comfortable with the idea, I have heard of them being hit by it mid pregnancy and often it happens at that point where all of the new baby attention dies down and you're exhausted and having to hold the baby while attempting to scarf down a snack while they're crying in your ear. Not all women "freak out" but some women have a harder time accepting their new role than others.
For many it depends on where they are in life. For a woman that is low income, young and just barely knows what she's in for, it'll probably hit a lot harder than if you've been planning this and you are confident that you have the means to provide for baby.
I am not a woman but I think the hardest part of being a new mom would be pushing a tiny human being out of your vagina.
that is just so so true, I've got 6 kids and still is the worst part about it but my last two births where alot better as I found a slightly easier way to give birth
Why would that be considered the "worst"? Surely, anyone would prefer a easier pregnancy than a hard one, wouldn't they? In fact, the other 4 probably loosened you up. Why do think it's so hard for women with multiple births to continue having children? The muscles get weaker.
the first two are always the hardest being streached that much but what i ment was giving birth is the worst thing ever if its a hard birth or what you say an easy birth. last two where easy as i did it a differant way!!
She said "the last two births were a lot better", but squeezing out a kid is "still the worst part". She wasn't saying the last two births were worse than the first four.
I also think it gets easier to give birth the second and third times.You said you found a slightly easier way to give birth. I'd be interested to know more about your experience. Was it a natural birth?
well im pregnant and im not freaking out but i know it will be hard to be a mom but i guess the shock hasnt hit me yet and i think the hardest part will be to give birth because if you have a c-section it will hurt to get the needle in your spine and natural birth always hurts lol
I'm not a mother, but I'm extremely close to my friend and her baby, and from what I've learned from her, the hardest part for her is trying to keep the kid from screaming and crying. She's usually REALLY well-behaved when we all go out, it's just when she's hungry that she starts giving out little "Prepare your ears" cries. Another problem she has is trying to find time to get out, since nobody seems to want to watch the baby, so she has to drag her to hell and back when she wants to go somewhere.
Oh, and money. Babies cost a SHIT LOAD of money. People seem to breed without understanding the cost of raising a child. Love alone won't be enough...you have to have enough money for doctors, diapers, bedding, etc etc etc. Luckily things worked out with her money-wise, but seriously it's a horrible idea to bring a baby into the world if you don't understand the cost.
4 me it was giving up my freedom, I was so used 2 getting up and going but when my first kid was born, besides dressing myself there was this little person I had to dress 2. Not 2 mention all the stuff I had 2 take outside with me 2 keep him comfortable.
Eh the sleep deprivation isn't so bad. You get kind of a buzz off of it really.
I became a mom without knowing any of these things, never been around babies or moms at all really. But instinct kicks in and soon you'll see that as long as you're having all the issues described above, and you have plenty of common sense, you are doing fine. The hardest part is not knowing if you are doing things right and worrying about the Baby's safety, especially when you are not around. But, yeah, lack of sleep does make you kind of irritable....
The hardest part about having a new born is realizing that this adorable little thing will one day become a teenager.
If you're self-centered (not saying you are), the hardest part will definitely be having to put someone before yourself.
The hardest part for me was just learning to be more responsible, in that, before I had my son, my mom took care of a lot of things for me. Making appointments, insurance handling, etc. Now that's my job, not only for me but for my baby cuz most dads just don't understand all that stuff so it's usually going to be on you.
Also, the lack of sleep. The first few nights were fine because everything was so new and I thoroughly enjoyed it, I was too excited about my new baby to sleep, but when the excitement levels out, your body realizes it needs sleep and you probably won't get any. That part sucks. Especially if you're breast-feeding because you won't be able to have much, if any, caffeine.
Congrats to you, and good luck! You'll do just fine!
The birth part is painful but with time u will forget it. A newborn is needy but again it depends on the baby on how needy. My first was very independent. She was quiet and not fussy. Started sleeping all night pretty quickly. My second will b here soon and I'm not as worried.
My friend had a baby not so long ago, it literally has destroyed his life but he won't admit it.
My colleague has a three-month old and, from talking to him, it's the curtailing of any kind of independence. Baby always comes first and perspectives shift to not be just perspectives any more but perspectives with the consideration of baby.
I don't speak from personal experience, but from what I've studied and heard from the mums and dads I've worked with, it's the complete shift in lifestyle and getting your head around the fact that you are now completely responsible for the wellbeing of this tiny little creature. add to that hormones, exhaustion from pregnancy and labour, more exhaustion from feeding and the sleeplessness, the total insecurity and lack of confidence in your own abilities (which isn't helped by advice coming at you from all sides, a lot of it contradictory, some of it even hostile), the pain from giving birth, breast pain, any health concerns for you or your child (real or imagined)...I could go on and on. Basically, I'm told the whole of it just hits you like a brick wall of sheer overwhelmingness.
Now that I've panicked you (please don't, it will be okay!) I want to say that none of that makes you a bad mother. Do what you can. You will fuck up. You're human. Try not to beat yourself up over it. Your baby will love you regardless. You and your partner are what your child needs most. Don't be afraid to ask for help - with housework and groceries as much as with the bub. It is better for you to do things with the baby for bonding and for getting yourself comfortable with babycare. Remember to take time for yourself - it isn't selfish, your baby will benefit from a mother who isn't at her wits end.
I hope this helps. I'd write more bit I'm a bit pushed for time and writing on a phone and it annoys the shit out of me typing on it.
All the est for your new family :)