What is the difference between loving your type & just someone nice?

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17 Comments

I've had a few debates about what love is and who should you love. Should you love someone who happens to be your type and you naturally like them or should you love someone who treats you right and gives you what you deserve? Usually when you go for your type it doesn't end up smoothly and they end up upsetting you in the long run. That's when people start giving you advice on going for someone who "treats you right" next time. But for me, that doesn't help much. I've had a bf before who was def not my type, he came up to me and we started dating. I realized he was such a good guy to me and genuinely cared for me. But he wasn't my type so those natural feelings of attractions to personality and looks was not there and eventually became the reason why we broke up after being together for two yes. I consider him as a good friend but if only he was my type like the guy recently. Words can't describe how he was just thrown at my face like here this is what you've always wanted. We hit it off but never became official for mutual reasons. However, we've gone through our ups and downs especially me with him but I gave him so many chances because I like him so much! I would not give my ex any chance because deep inside I just wasn't into him. Going through that break up was not hard at all for me but going through ending things with this guy even if it wasn't official is the hardest thing ever. So ideally you'd want to have both: your type treating you right. But nothings perfect so who do you actually go for? You let that person hurt you as many times as possible cause you love them and have hope. Yet you could be w someone for two years not feel a thing but only cause things were going fine between you and them. At this pt for me, I kind of rather go through ups and downs for the one I'm genuinely into and give it my all because feelings are worth more than thoughts saying "what should you do." I'm one of those who goes more w the heart than the mind.

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67% Normal
Based on 15 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • Flare94
    9 years ago

    To answer your question directly. "What is the difference between loving your type & just someone nice?" The difference is you have interest, and probably sexual lust for your "type". And commonly for "just someone nice" a lot of the time you're not interested, or even attracted to that person you just feel petty for them, and know the relationship can work because they're interested in you.

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  • dom180
    9 years ago

    There is no "should" and "should not", there is only what feels right to you and what doesn't. Anyone who says you "should" be attracted to nice people really doesn't understand that these feelings are not a choice.

    As a sidenote, you need to have more respect for yourself than to accept all those downs with your ups. You don't need to neglect your head to enrich your heart. There is another way. Start respecting your head more. It needs care and attention as much as your heart does. You don't seem happy with the way you've been treating your head so far, so make a change.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Exactly...there shouldnt be a "should." It is whatever feels right. And I feel like getting hurt by someone you just love is more right than getting hurt by someone you honestly don't care about that much.
      But if I start respecting my head doesn't that mean I am choosing what I "should" do rather than what feels right?

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      • iEatZombies_
        9 years ago

        No.
        Your brain and your heart are like a scale. You shouldn't weigh one down more than the other. If you do, you don't actually feel right at all. Your brain and your heart rely on each other. You should balance them. Listen to them both. Move on from both men and find someone who balances you. You can love someone logically and emotionally, don't choose one or the other.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          Ugh well that's why I'm praying its the next one. Cause I still love him and want him therefore want to work it out and make successful

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  • Hamid37USA
    9 years ago

    I know I love when I get restauranting order. Police master say no have sex but I do when I use rock for key.

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  • EccentricWeird
    9 years ago

    The Great Wall of Text

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    Interestingly enough, I'm now in a relationship (married, actually) with a woman who is not at all my "type", and it's the best relationship I've ever had. Since college, I've not dated a girl over 5'4", period! They have all been blonde and rather muscled, but not at all skinny. My wife is 5'8", brunette and a true hardbody.
    We met and started hanging around together, and actually got to know one another very well, before the physical relationship developed. With all my exes, it was physical attraction that brought us together, and perhaps held us together, though the two marriages did last in excess of 10 years each.
    So, many of us might be short changing ourselves by insisting on a "type", instead of being open to any friendship, that might just develop into a terrific relationship.

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  • mountain-man82
    9 years ago

    Go with a combination of your head and your heart or your heart will get smashed every time.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I know that is the ideal way like I mentioned but nothings perfect. So what do you go for?

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      • mountain-man82
        9 years ago

        I listen to my heart, but also my mind. If I like someone I give it my all till my mind says its pointless. My mind is there to protect my heart.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          Yup that's where I am right now. I've tried everything and now my mind is controlling everything. Its telling me NO. And til now he starts making an effort. Of course I love him so giving him a chance is natural but still I question it...that's why I am lost

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          • mountain-man82
            9 years ago

            If your mind is telling you no and he hasnt made an effort till now then please listen to your mind. That way you wont get crushed when he stops making an effort.

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    Define "type".

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Okay well my type is his style, rocker ish but not really he is still neutral to everything. He has goals, he is a family guy, he has my sense of humor, we just click. I think I said this above, but when we met one of the things that I enjoyed was how we were so alike that we were twins. Even style wise, we'll go out with the same colors and its like um we obviously didn't mean to do this. And our sense of humor is the cherry on top of everything and more.

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  • thevoiceinmyhead
    9 years ago

    understand completely how that feels 'cauz 've been through all of that.
    not clicked with nice guys who treat me like many people said I deserve for those. rather, always found myself falling into the types that I know will give me heartache later. Met and dated with my ex for 3 years ago, he's typical jerk or player guy, didn't show respect or cares for me unless he needs or wants something from me. Even know him so well that how bad he treats me like that, still had tough time to get over him. Had tried to meet someone new, either they all gave me the insecure feelings or they're not my type and that's not interested in them at all. Only my ex could give me such a safe, secure ones and I could be comfy and really who I am although we broke up long time ago, there are still complicated things going on between us, but we both know that we are not dating. Yet, he's always trying to show off with any friends around if we were at some parties and there were guys. But worst thing is I let him do that, and kinda my excuse for getting protected by my ex.....
    He did hurt me many many times, and always give him chances...but gladly, didn't feel depressed anymore if he didn't want to talk to me for few months

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  • peaceandlovebro
    9 years ago

    You can't question love; it just is.

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