What is the absolute deal breaker for you?

Ugh... Kids. I don't like kids. My ex was a slob and still lived with her parents but she was a good person so that didn't matter much to me. When you say "use drugs" do you just mean uses drugs or is addicted to drugs? Those are two waaaaaaaaaay different things.

If I came home to find my man gettin his freak on with the banker and 26 briefcase wielding ladies in matching dresses, I'd have to say no deal...maybe.

My deal breakers:

They have no self control
They committed a crime in the past
They're a drug addict or an alcoholic
They smoke
They don't have a car
They're unemployed and are not searching for a job
They live too far away
They have poor hygiene
They have poor mental or physical health
They feel like doing a certain thing is demeaning or emasculating
They're too dominant
They ignore me whether it's face to face or messaging
They already have kids
They're not open to new ideas
They're self centered
They don't want want a monogamous relationship
They're politically conservative
They have a problem with my bisexuality

Stinky breath

What does #1 deal breaker mean? Something can't be more of a deal breaker. Either it causes the breaking of a deal or it doesn't. I don't understand . . .

Anyway, these are all tied.

If they can't interpret art.

If they gossip.

If they are not kind.

If they believe in astrology.

I don't mind a belief in God, but a belief in religion . . .

Believes their best assets are physical features.

If they are nihilists.

If they lack ambition.

If they are socially conservative.

If they make fun of the way some people laugh.

If they don't appreciate their own existence.

If they think oral sex is demeaning.

If they have more than two children.

If they are not open to new experiences.

If evidence does not affect them.

There are probably more.

All of these are deal breakers to me:

They want kids
They use drugs
They are typically unemployed and have no desire to work
They have served time for a violent crime
They have a crazy ex that won't go away
They live like an absolute slob
They still live with their parrents

If they wanted/had kids or were a drug addict, those would be deal breakers for me. I can't foresee having kids right now at all. Also the violent crime one would put me off... And if they were a crazy religious fanatic.

Obviously, as Fall_leaves says, honesty is way up on the list, but for me kids are a pretty close second. No kids, no way, no more. Absolute deal breaker.

If they lied to me or cheated in the past. I wouldn't be able to be with someone I couldn't trust.

My reasons for deal breakers are:

Poor cell phone manners
Sedentary lifestyle
Unemployed, homeless, carless
Live on Welfare or assistance
Under 18 or live with parents
Uses tobacco or illegal drugs
Have kids (especially from different men or under ten)
Poor health mentally or physically

I'm sure there are others but mostly it's not being a responsible somewhat mature adult is my main thing.

All of these are workable for me.

What I wouldn't be able to get over is stinky breath.

Overall I'm not that picky tho

I looked for a lot of different things in a girl when I was looking for somebody to marry, and I really didn't expect to get too many of them because nobody's perfect, and there were some things that I wouldn't have liked although I may have accepted some of them. The deal breaker for me was I felt that it wouldn't be fair to the girl if I wasn't proud to be seen in public with her. I was going with a girl for a little while and we got along OK, and we COULD have got married because she was the kind to go along with whatever the guy wanted. She was lazy, and never had a job, and had no ambition, and dropped out of school in 5th or 6th grade to do nothing. It's not good to be alone and in spite of these defects I mentioned I contemplated a LTR with her. The real problem was she didn't have enough ambition to take pride in her personal appearance. She sort of looked like a slob, and didn't have good hygiene. I felt like it wouldn't be right to marry somebody that I wouldn't care to be seen with in public. So I broke up with her and a year or so later hooked up with her sister, who is the exact opposite kind of person.

It's funny how they use drugs is above having a criminal record for violence....

If someone is not an animal person it's over before it's begun.

Just one?