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This is poll is for hetero or bi women or gay men just curious about this
| Kindness | 16 | |
| Honesty | 18 | |
| Ability in bed | 5 | |
| Monetary issues | 0 | |
| Inteligence | 7 | |
| How affectionate the man is | 3 | |
| Physical attractiveness(purely based on appearance) | 6 |
All of them are very important but I chose honesty. If I am with an honest man, I will learn quickly whether or not he is intelligent, kind, has good financial skills or is decent in bed. An honest man will let you know quickly whether or not you are wasting your time. It's a very noble trait to have.
I can't answer this poll because I am not a "hetero or bi woman or gay man" but I think sense of humor should have been a option. Mostly due to the fact that it is the only thing I have going for me :) (Using Neuro's space since I am a straight man in a way of piggy backing haha).
People are full of shit Sexual capability should have many more votes iin a lot of cases this is what creates the bond and in many maintains things when others go awry. Its not like most people know anything about someone before they fuck them the first time.
that is YOUR opinion.
you asked for the "more important" feature.
sexual capability is simply not "more important"...ESPECIALLY in monogamous relationships trust would play a HUGE role.
Sexual activity fulfills a physical need and mental desire.
But _true_ bonding between people happens on a emotional basis that requires making yourself vulnerable to the other person...which means that this person needs to be honest with you and kind enough not to take advantage of that.
Sex is merely a way of expressing that.
If i am merely looking for a night's amount of fun, then yeah, sex is important...looks are even more then, because otherwise we don't even get to the sex part.
But if you are looking at a relationship, then the values are different.
ESPECIALLY since sexual aspects are so flexible...a couple can learn and improve that part, integrate different practises, foreplay, or even toys to improve the experience, and a lack of ability or size can be made up with determination and patience.
The same is NOT true for a unhonest or cruel person. If that is in the nature of your partner, it has a potential of hurting you without end once you open up and start bonding.
That is also why i mentioned that i can accept being hurt once or twice. Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me. Not being honest or not being kind are time bombs that are HARD to improve upon for every relationship. The reason i rated intelligence higher is simply because a lack of that would not even give those bombs enough time to go off.
It's your poll, but don't assume people are full of shit because they have another opinion, you are entitled to yours, of course, but to many others, sexual capability simple is not the most important characteristic to look for in a partner-
Btw I find you to be pretty dilluted if you think a non monogamous relationship can be a healthy one no respectable man would agree to such a scenario
leaving aside the fact that you not even TRIED to reply to anything i wrote in that post, i'll answer to what you wrote again:
you seem pretty close-minded if you think anything that will not work for you cannot work for someone else.
sex is not everything, it's a fun passtime for certain, but not everything.
Once you are past that illusion, and start truly bonding with a partner(not only through sex), one may see that there's so much more connecting 2 people.
And enjoying sex on the side does not lessen what they have in any way.
I'm done with you if that's what you think that fucking other people on the side doesn't lessen what you have then we have a fundamental disagreement about the romance. Jealousy is an evolutionary adaptation. The reason people are jealous is well understood for both men and women and I refuse to explain it google sexual jealousy and evolution I hate people like you
well, you can hate me of course, thats your opinion and you are entitled to that.
As i am to mine, which is to feel sorry for you because of your narrow-mindedness.
I can fully accept and understand that what works for me may not work for others.
I can, however, also accept and understand that stuff that does NOT work for me can work just fine for others.
As for evolutionary adaption: that still has a desire for a.: pubic hair, b.: fat deposit reservers in the body, and c.: a regenerative time for male sex readyness.
Just 3 of countless examples as to why evolutionary tactics may have been great concepts of their time, but utterly fail to adapt to current situations in an extent to make them be "rules" to follow. It's great to know WHY your body wants to keep extra fat storage, it's also great to know if we manage to nuke ourselves, that may come in handy again. It does _NOT_ mean because that was evolutions plan i have to weigh 180 pounds to prepare for eventualities. Oh my, i even dare shave my body hair except head. In your face, evolution!
hm. really, some of those are very close. At first i wanted to go with honesty, following neuro's lead. but i can live with white lies.
so then i considered kindness, as a kind person would not "abuse" the white-lies thing, and generally be a "good" person.
But ultimately, i'd say the most important thing would be intelligence. I am not dependent on money, and being used to open relationships, on one persons sexual prowess.
But in the end, the thing i could stand LEAST is being with an moron...lies or a lack of kindness may seriously hurt...once in a while, but a lack of intelligence will blatantly hit me in the face every time i try talking with this person, and i'd start questioning my own "value" in that process.
Just to be accurate: It's not that he needs to be ABUNDANTLY intelligent, but an utter LACK of intelligence would be the most destructive thing for me, here. As in, it's not important that he's better than his peers, it's important that he doesn't fall way behind.
I didn't think people actually were in consistent open relationships or I would have excluded such people from the intended demographic for voting. If you can get what you need from other men, and aren't totally reliant on one person then your opinion isn't entirely irrelavant just not relevant to this poll. Not trying to argue over the merits of open relationships here. Do whatever you want not judging you
yeah, well, even if it was a monogamous relationship i was in, and i had those, my point would stand.
I couldn't guarantee i'd be satisfied or entirely faithful in that case...even though i can honestly say i would try hard to fix problems instead of looking elsewhere for a solution.
I could also still accept being hurt once or twice, before calling it quits.
I could NOT stand being with a moron, even for a short while.
"I couldn't guarantee I would be faithful" thanks for proving my point. Had a longer post that wasn't obscene or offensive but it was deleted
yeah, i couldn't guarantee it.
that does not mean i'd actively try to get "action" outside of the relationship.
just being honest here because i'm used to something else now. Saying i would act differently for certain would be pretty idealistic, but dishonest.
By statistics, that same thing is also true for about half of the people that claim they'd be faithful, which makes them liers.
All are important in some parts, but physical attractiveness is what allows someone to show all the other features. If you're not attractive, then you most likely won't get the chance to show the other features you have to get a partner.