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I've got 2 divorces under my belt and several other breakups and I finally see what it is that I've gained and that is inalienable. Husbands and wives come and go, but their family secret recipes are forever!
What have you learned and/or kept from your exes?
Lmao thats good. :D Nice change from all the people complaining about their "bitch / bastard" ex's stealing their money / homes / pets
are yall offerin yalls laundry machine to random peoples?
also can i come over & do some laundry?
I once dated a nice man from Mumbai who introduced me to the theatrical world of Bollywood. The films themselves bore the crap out of me because they are SO LONG, but the music is great. I still listen to it now.
Her dog. She didn't give a shit about. I swear she forgot she had it. She was really concerned about her knock off designer' sunglasses. I ended up writing her a check for them just to get her crazy ass out of my life.
What I've learned is to stay detached. I love fiercely but I know that I can be on my own and that my happiness depends on my state of mind.
In my younger years I was often too much into relationships (friendship, bf). Then I learned to be alone, to appreciate my own company and to fall in love with myself. Don't ask me how it happened. Guess it was a slow process and I did not even notice that I was changing.
So yes, I can say that my past relationships helped me grow.
I learned from my own personal struggles, that are actually very much like what you have described in your post, that I will attract and be attracted to people who are just as screwed up or as squared away as I am. I have most recently started to learn about trauma bonding and narcissistic abusers, because of my ex boyfriend. I have learned that I probably have some sort of trauma bond with my mother, which is something I'm not happy about.
My experience has also reinforced my beliefs that I am not defined by my relationship status, and that being alone is not necessarily a bad thing.
I've also learned that I need to be able to better identify the red flags of a toxic person. I have learned that I need to beware of anyone who is desperate, or rather codependent. I also need to beware of people who are overly skeptical of twelve step programs, therapy, psychotropic medications or the mental health field as a whole. If someone seems to too good to be true then they probably are!
There's more that I have learned, but it's perhaps a little technical so I don't want to bore you too much with the details.