What gender should i be?

30 Comments

Alright, so recently I've been struggling with my gender identity. I was born male and have been comfortable being male until around sophomore year of high school. I've begun to realize that my mind is more feminine (i.e. I am more emotional than guys and generally think in a similar way to girls) and that I feel comfortable being in a feminine environment. Even so, I don't believe I am totally transgender, because there are parts of being a male that I enjoy.

I was thinking of maybe getting hormone replacement therapy, but the intensity of the changes are sort of scaring me now. I would enjoy being both male and female (looking and acting like a girl one day and looking and acting like a male the next), but I don't know how hard that would be or if I would feel comfortable doing it.

I was just wondering that from this description what people think they would do in my position. I know it isn't healthy to make decisions about gender identity based on what others think, but I think about this a lot in my head and don't get any outside feedback on the subject. Sorry if this is too weird or hard to understand. Thanks~!

Male. 29
Transgender. 3
Effeminate (girly) male. 26
Androgynous. 9
Gender fluid/switch between male and female. 25
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 30 )
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago | pl

    Why don't you just forget about the labels and be yourself.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    9
    9
      -
    • chloroplast
      10 years ago

      I know, but sometimes identifying myself brings security.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      3
      3
        -
      • lolol555
        10 years ago

        Honestly, I get what you mean. You could try to dress more feminine one day and more masculine the next but it might still be pretty hard to look convincingly female for that day.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        2
        2
      • RoseIsabella
        10 years ago

        Yeah, I think that can be a form of validation.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    I love the David Bowie sort of androgynous look.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • wistfulmaiden
      9 years ago

      and Annie Lennox, on the flip side.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Complex18
    10 years ago

    Androgynous seems to be the only solution to this problem

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • megadriver
    10 years ago

    Maybe you are just a more feminine man. And what's wrong with being comfortable arround girls. I'm a normal guy, love drinking and hanging with my mates and arguing about M-power vs AMG, but I don't mind being with my girlfriend's girly girlfriends (As long as we are not in a mall)
    I say: Don't change a thing. Cause obviously you are not a woman in a man's body, nor you sound like one of those cross-dressing things.
    You are just a more sensitive and more girly man.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • chloroplast
      10 years ago

      I guess I mean more that I don't really like hanging out with guys. I just get really intimidated around them.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I didn't realize feelings were a "feminine" trait........

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • chloroplast
      10 years ago

      They aren't really, but on average females tend to be more open about their emotions than males.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
        -
      • Isabella80s
        10 years ago

        I agree but I don't think the difference is half as dramatic as is generally thought.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
    • Isabella80s
      10 years ago

      That idea is thankfully being broken down gradually but it's still there a bit after years of men being encouraged to repress their feelings. : /

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Isabella80s
    10 years ago

    Be yourself and allow yourself time to work out how you really feel. Also, I reckon a lot of men are actually more 'emotional' but society kind of represses it, which is sad. Whilst he doesn't cry at a Pampers advert (like I sometimes do), my bf is more 'emotional' and I love that about him. I couldn't be with one of those guys who was always putting on a bravado and pretending like nothing touches them. Oh, he also sits with his legs crossed sometimes and sometimes wears eyeliner. I am aware some people would think that made him a bit feminine, but to me these invisible rules are just made up by scared people who want to keep some 'order' in society, so there's 'rules' for men and women. Some may also assume he's gay just based on those small behaviours (small minded people?) but trust me, he likes women lol. Another quick example of the feminine/masculine thing - when I had my hair cut really short I got lesbian 'jokes'. Whatever (not that have a problem with gay people at all, just to be clear). Anyway, you get my gist. I hope! Be true to yourself. ; )

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • chloroplast
      10 years ago

      Thanks for the advice. ^^ I understand that men are more emotional than society lets on, and I'm sorry for that misconception. I'm just speaking from a biological standpoint. I'll try my best to be myself, once I get enough confidence to do so.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo
    Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo
    Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo

    You've got your mother in a whirl
    She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl
    Hey babe, your hair's alright
    Hey babe, let's go out tonight
    You like me, and I like it all
    We like dancing and we look divine
    You love bands when they're playing hard
    You want more and you want it fast
    They put you down, they say I'm wrong
    You tacky thing, you put them on

    Rebel Rebel, you've torn your dress
    Rebel Rebel, your face is a mess
    Rebel Rebel, how could they know?
    Hot tramp, I love you so!

    Don't ya?
    Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo

    You've got your mother in a whirl 'cause she's
    Not sure if you're a boy or a girl
    Hey babe, your hair's alright
    Hey babe, let's stay out tonight
    You like me, and I like it all
    We like dancing and we look divine
    You love bands when they're playing hard
    You want more and you want it fast
    They put you down, they say I'm wrong
    You tacky thing, you put them on

    Rebel Rebel, you've torn your dress
    Rebel Rebel, your face is a mess
    Rebel Rebel, how could they know?
    Hot tramp, I love you so!

    Don't ya?
    Oh?
    Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo
    Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo

    Rebel Rebel, you've torn your dress
    Rebel Rebel, your face is a mess
    Rebel Rebel, how could they know?
    Hot tramp, I love you so!

    You've torn your dress, your face is a mess
    You can't get enough, but enough ain't the test
    You've got your transmission and your live wire
    You got your cue line and a handful of ludes
    You wanna be there when they count up the dudes
    And I love your dress
    You're a juvenile success
    Because your face is a mess
    So how could they know?
    I said, how could they know?

    So what you wanna know
    Calamity's child, chi-chi, chi-chi
    Where'd you wanna go?
    What can I do for you? Looks like you've been there too
    'Cause you've torn your dress
    And your face is a mess
    Ooo, your face is a mess
    Ooo, ooo, so how could they know?
    Eh, eh, how could they know?
    Eh, eh

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Indemand
    10 years ago

    I don't think you are transgender. I think you would be sure one way or the other if you were- transgenders usually describe themselves as feeling 'trapped' in the wrong body- something which you haven't mentioned once.

    It's possible you are gender neutral however. If that's the case, it's really up to you what you want to do. It will be difficult to live as both genders, and there isn't really any possible way of alternating between the two. So I would advise sticking with the gender you are physically more comfortable with, and just being yourself.

    As long as you are happy, that's the main thing.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • chloroplast
      10 years ago

      Thanks for the advice. ^^ If I can, I'm going to try the dual-gendered way if it can work when I go to college next year (or the year after or something). I understand that it probably will be hard, but I can't know unless I try. I guess calling myself gender fluid feels better to me than calling myself a guy.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Indemand
        10 years ago

        I hope it works out for you. A very close friend of mine is transgender, and I know it's been difficult, especially dealing with ignorant people refusing accept him for who he is. I'm not sure what the stigma is like with gender fluid. But just stay strong. If you know for yourself inside who you are, then defend it and make sure to always stick by the people that you know will support you.

        Best of luck to you, and I really do hope this allows you feel more comfortable with yourself. You're extremely brave for sticking to your guns and trying, even if it doesn't end up working out how you want it to. I guess trying is better than never knowing. :)

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
          -
        • chloroplast
          10 years ago

          Thank you so much! I'll try my best to be myself. ^^

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • Energy
    10 years ago

    Sounds like being gender fluid would fit you best.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • GreyWulfen
    10 years ago

    I think you should start off as a girly male. Maybe that'll suit your best.
    Gender Fluid sounds somewhat complicated to me to accomplish.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • chloroplast
      10 years ago

      Complicated, but worth a try. Now I just need the confidence to buy the clothes I like… x.x

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • ToastyMelissa
    10 years ago

    or just be a gay guy!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • chloroplast
      10 years ago

      I'm pansexual though. ^^;

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • GuessWho
    10 years ago

    Nothing wrong with being an emotional guy.

    In that situation, I would just remain as a normal guy - so what if you think and act a little different - there's nothing wrong with that.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • ToastyMelissa
    10 years ago

    dude, if i were you i wouldnt do something so drastic as taking hormone therapy because at the end of the day it will only fuck you up. its not like you can actually become a female, so it will just take away any masculine side you have and probably make you even more depressed because you will feel more like a woman but be stuck in a mans body and hating it. whereas at the moment you say you enjoy aspects of being a man so if i were you i wouldn't jeopardize that. just enjoy being a very camp guy

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • chloroplast
      10 years ago

      I've decided that I'm probably not going to take hormone therapy because of its magnitude. I want to be more feminine, but not lose all masculinity.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • wistfulmaiden
    9 years ago

    I don't know, but should think carefully before making any permanent changes. Sometimes when a person takes hormones or gets a sex change they end up worse off than before. Start out small and go from there, maybe dressing like a female will end up being enough for you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • wii3willrule
    10 years ago

    I think a huge part of the confusion when it comes to transgenders is the definition of the words male and female versus the words guy and girl. Male, female, intersex etc., all describe your *sex* (genetic), while guy, girl, man, woman etc., describe your *gender* (psychological). A lot of the psychological aspects of people is mainly determined by society at large. Meaning, you really don't have to identify if it confuses you. If you are comfortable being called "he" then so be it and if you are more comfortable being called "she", then again, so be it. I personally don't identify at all, I think it only serves to limit and divide humanity.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0