What fruit would make the best lawyer? why?

42 Comments
Pineapple 15
Coconut 13
Strawberry 5
Banana 10
Orange 4
Melon 7
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Comments ( 42 )
  • dirtybirdy
    10 years ago | pl

    A banana, because it has appeal.

    Although coconuts may be good in case of an insanity plea.

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    • asdfdsa
      10 years ago

      Haha, that's actually pretty funny!

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    • shuggy-chan
      10 years ago

      "Your crazy in the the coconut " avalanches- frontier psychiatrist

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      • dirtybirdy
        10 years ago

        Are you implying that I'm husky!?!?! You want my sweet white meat and you know it!

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        • shuggy-chan
          10 years ago

          Oh baby, ur so Husky, I just want to grab ur soft, snow dusted fur and mush u all through the night, just to keep warm

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          • dirtybirdy
            10 years ago

            It puts the lime in the coconut or else it gets it up the butt.

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      Oh snap.

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      • NurseDiesel
        10 years ago

        Let's get fruity and make a pear.
        Time for dessert...my underwear.
        I've got some whipped cream, how 'bout some pie?
        For my little starfruit, apple of my eye.
        You're red like the devil, shiny and firm
        If i was a bird i'd nibble your worm.
        An elderberry, that's what I am
        I say date, you say yes ma'am!
        Were i another berry, i'd be a goose
        And invite you in for some delicious juice.
        Clementine, naval, blood and manderin
        Up on your branch disappear with a grin.

        In lemons terms....MEOWWW!!!

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        • dirtybirdy
          10 years ago

          What. The fuck. Is this!!?!?!

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          • NurseDiesel
            10 years ago

            I've been sampling meds again. I'm in need of some serious discipline.

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        • RomeoDeMontague
          10 years ago

          Wow, best pick up line ever.

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        • Avant-Garde
          10 years ago

          *starts clapping*

          *tear rolls down hill*

          Brilliant! You sir/madame are quite the talent.

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          • NurseDiesel
            10 years ago

            I'll be a jackfruit, you be my jill
            I've got a pail for those tears on the hill.
            We'll gather enough to sail like Magellan
            (I'd be a canary if I was a melon.)

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        • [Old Memory]
          10 years ago

          It's spelt "mandarin" you filth. English first, poems later.

          *hops up onto tree branch, lols and disappears.

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  • Karmasbitch
    10 years ago | pl

    Avocado, they're good advocates

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  • 69
    10 years ago

    pineapple cause theres no reasonable doubt that it fucked you in the ass

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  • MacG
    10 years ago

    Durian

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    Apple because it is not on the list.

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  • AbnormallyAwesome
    10 years ago

    Passion fruit.
    obviously...

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    • Avant-Garde
      10 years ago

      So, they can have sex with their clients after they when the case.
      They also have sex with the judges to bribe them into letting their team win.

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      • AbnormallyAwesome
        10 years ago

        What can you do...
        Passion fruits gonna be passionate

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  • Anime7
    10 years ago

    I think Melons would be good in a sexual harassment lawsuit.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Coconut!<BR><BR>It's resilient, it has a hard shell, and I just like the damn things a lot!

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      Although it's not on the list, a durian or a pepper would make a great lawyer.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    Soursop.

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  • shuggy-chan
    10 years ago

    Bananaface

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  • BlackyHancock
    8 years ago

    Guava - cos they yellow on the outside and pink on the inside. It's always pink on the inside

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  • Wuggums47
    10 years ago

    Pineapples and Kiwano melons are the best lawyers because they have spikes.

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  • peterr
    10 years ago

    There is no such thing as a great lawyer.

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  • NobodyCares
    10 years ago

    Is anyone wondering how this was approved?!? Lol. GRAPES.

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  • Hugh*Janus
    10 years ago

    Neil Patrick Harris

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  • WhiteCrow
    10 years ago

    None, technicly none of them could talk soooo...

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  • Chesteroooo
    10 years ago

    Thanks for the comments guys. Now my argument with my boyfriend is officially over. HAHAHAHAHA!

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  • Avant-Garde
    10 years ago

    Apple because apples fight for justice.

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    • thegypsysailor
      10 years ago

      When have you ever heard of a lawyer who gives a crap about justice? It's the money, honey!

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      • Avant-Garde
        10 years ago

        Its different for apples. Did you know that they also fight to keep the doctors away?

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        • thegypsysailor
          10 years ago

          Hey, wait one minute there. I never said anything bad about apples. Some of my bestest friends are apples.

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          • Avant-Garde
            10 years ago

            Okay.... But there is the existence of a species of bad apples.... So, bad that they could put your sailboat in a twist without out even touching it! They can do other things too but I shan't be getting into it now!

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            • thegypsysailor
              10 years ago

              A few of those friends may be from that species, unfortunately.

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  • Roger_Maxson
    10 years ago

    Coconut because it's not actually a nut

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