What does it take to get thru to someone in a cult

You poor girl, we are in the same boat (kinda). My fiance joined a cult and it is'nt even in a church, it has a "master", every moment of everyday is devoted to this practice. Of course I kicked him to the curb a few month's ago, but I realize the pain you are going thru... I love him so much it's driving me crazy that he chose that over me, He wants me to marry him but I would come in 2nd! The reason he is not communicating with you anymore is maybe because you dissed it to many time's and it was "disrespectful" and "insulting" to him. The regigion, belief, and other NEW friends are of upmost priority to him and it is so sad! It is a "new family", he has (like my fiance) many issue's to deal with and this may be an escape from fear. Mine is escaping from fear of going to "hell" when he die's and this is the only way to be "saved". TOO SAD!! my god, there is no reasoning, believe me. no one can talk someone out of a belief that they have their mind set on.... really, I have talked till I am blue in the face at what this has done to us, and he walk's away chosing that even tho he love's and want's to marry me. (still).... Moving on, or trying to and you need to do the same... I love him so dang much!! but... Listen to me, I have been widowed and thought life was over for me, then met this "great" man. There will alway's be a new beginning at some point.

I once liked a girl who went to a similar type of church you're describing... I liked her and wanted to date her. She told me she liked me as well and wanted to be with me... after attempting to convince her to get out of that "faith", and even attending services with her, I finally decided that it wasn't worth it (I wasn't going to waste my life chasing her). I turned away and left her to her wrong faith. It has been over 10 years... I'm now married. That girl still attends the same church and has never changed.

Unfortunately, you cannot do anything. People in cults cannot hear reason ever. You are going to have to get over losing him even though it will be hard. P.S. I'm going to go on a bit of a rant. So often religion brings out the worst in people. As much as everyone hates atheists, have you ever heard of atheists starting wars or being terrorists? No. Only religious folk (or a few other cults or outcasts). Probably 1%% of those who claim to be Christians actually follow Jesus' words and all the tenants of the Bible. It pisses me off. What about living and leaving to live? Or tolerance? Acceptance? Where are those in many of today's supposed Christians?

A frying pan to the back of the head and a professional de-programmer.

Sounds like a wierdo. I'd give him a swerve.

That sounds like a great plot for a novel, actually.

Seriously; there are only two likely outcomes: 1) he will either outgrow his enthusiasm for this cult of his and renounce it on his own, or 2) it will engulf him for the rest of his life, to the detriment of himself and everybody who is close to him.

The cult mentality is practically impossible to break if the person truly identifies with the ideology of the cult. If he's just going through a 'phase' then this doesn't apply; he will grow tired of the cult and voluntarily resign.

It's up to you to decide which of the above he is. Don't let him drag you down into his stilted little world if he seems genuinely dedicated to it. Bail on him and find another dude...there are plenty of dudes to choose from.

there is nothing you can do, or should do. everyone makes, or should make the ultimate choice about the kind of life they want to live.

if you want to be with him, you have to accept his faith and not try to get him out of it. He is ignoring you because he does not want to be talked out of his faith.

If he ever does want out, then thats the time to be there for him.

I answered yes, this is normal, on two counts. The first is that this is normal behavior for someone who has been captured by a cult and the second is that your reaction to it, while futile, is also normal. There is nothing to be done short of kidnapping and deprogramming and you'll have to learn to live with that fact. It's no different than when someone you care about gets addicted to drugs.

If I were you i'd just forget all about this guy. Yeah the memories and everything's great but he's made his decision. He doesn't want you in his life. Now it's time to make your own decision. Do you really fancy trying to talk to him for the rest of your life while all he does is ignore you? All you're doing is making yourself have a lotta pent up anger.

Religious people are scary. I've met a few and to be honest i don't like them one bit. My friend and i were once very close to a religious girl who had very different beliefs from ours. The religious girl was so wild. She'd talk about how she cant smoke, pierce her ears, have sex before marriage, wear short skirts, etc. But i know for a fact that she's had sex several times, enjoys wearing short skirts and has pierced ears(she convinced her mom to let her do it.) i don't get it. If it's a sin to do all that, then why did she? Then when she goes to her place of worship, she acts as if she's the holiest. Hypocrite! And she got my friend to convert as well and when she did, these 2 started leaving me out of a lotta things. They made me feel as if they wouldn't talk to me if i didn't convert as well.

So here's a friendly word of advice; don't mix with the religious ones. Their religion always pulls them back. I was religious once too but i gave that all up. I didnt see much point in scaring off my friends. But, if you want, you can still contact your friend. But give yourself a 'time limit'. Like, if he doesn't respond by the end of the month you'll stop contacting him. And even if he does respond and tells you that contacting you will make him go back on his promise then tell him that that's fine. And that, since he insists, you'll leave him alone. But tell him that he'll be losing a good friend. Then leave him be. It's best to do that. Religious people are best left alone.

If anyone is silly enough to get caught up in these cults serves them right

although you may be attracted to this guy physically, leave him alone as far as a relationship goes. if you're interested in opening his eyes to the truth, get a King James Version of the Holy Bible and introduce him to Jesus Christ. He is the only Way.

I really want to talk about this, because I am facing something similar, someone that I love a lot, is in a cult, I have been learning how to deal with this, I have been reading articles about cults and I spoke with people you were in cults, you can google cult information too.

What I can tell you, is the more you try to show him that he is wrong, the less he will contact you because the cult leader already told him that outsiders will try to take him away from his path... the more you try the more he will feel it and will try to escape it is very scary...

Someone told me, that there is something that cults cannot fight which is love.

I encourage you if you feel like to message him regularly but do not bombarding him, if you both have good memories together, just talk about it, do never forget he was brainwashed, but his old personality still there:) send him a card a gift to him, let him feel that you love him and you will be there for him (never talk about the cult never) if does not reply it is ok, but continue, if he contacts you to talk about the cult , let him speak just listen be present and soon as it is possible, change subject I would say :) It is very hard I know, I can tell you that I managed to help my ex, but it all goes back and forwards one day he is with me but if he senses something he will go.. but the best thing to do is love, showing love all the time talk little feel compassion it works!

Good luck

You can either let him go completely or stay in touch in a low key way, even if it's one-sided, so that if he ever does come to his senses he'll contact you.

Cults run on isolation and right now he's going along with that because he'll have been brainwashed to believe the world outside the cult is dangerous and evil - if he ever wants to break free it would be good for him to know someone still cares about him. BUT don't live on hope, it may never happen, or it may take years.

There are organisations and self-help groups for people leaving cults and for people who care about them, do some googling, but be careful, some are fundamentalist christian based and very cult-like in themselves. Personally, I'd steer clear of the sort of deprogrammers who kidnap cult members: from what I've read it's only when someone leaves by choice that they're more likely to stay out of the clutches of the cult.

Good luck with it.

I am sure if you fuck him or flash to him he will change his mind.

Maybe he doesn't want to date you or bring you along as the cult has weird laws that you can't break (I researched this stuff years ago) some cults even have laws were they will put you to death for dating an outsider! He's trying to protect you. Step down and move on.

It's heart breaking and intellectually disturbing but your friend will have to come to realize and correct his predicament (if ever) on his own.

Do you feel how frustrating this is? That is the essence of much of the world's troubles today, religious disagreement. I have no words to console you except that you will only build up walls between you if you try to convince him of his left-turn in logic. He will likely view you as an agent of the secular dark-one sent to test his faith. Let him go. If you believe in God, then let go, and let God. Let your faith give you the wisdom to move on.

I thought brains is something that women find attractive to a guy. Clearly does not apply to you.

I have a feeling that the founder of the church is crazy. Do not go to any punch socials.

This poor dude is probably under the thumb of his oppressive parents and can't risk disobeying them. Just remember that in addition to all the other wacky shit these jesus-worshippers believe, they also believe in abusing the hell out of their children. I'm sure his parents would not "spare the rod" at any chance. These bible-thumping bastards probably use an actual rod too! Listen, your friend is probably scared shitless and would rather be with you but can't bring himself to risk being beaten and then ostracized from his family. He is a prisoner in his own home. Please don't give up on your friend. Maybe he'll never be your boyfriend but he REALLY needs a friend right now.

The first step is to take a hint.
The second is to stalk him non-stop, GO FOR IT!

girl you are obviously too good for him. someday he will wake up from this nonesence and realise what hes lost.

Don't give up on talking to him and still send him messages even if he doesn't reply, If it's because of his parents influence then I think he'll either grow out of it or he'll get further into it, but I think you should be the one to try and keep him on the surface.

Good luck.

Get over him. Hes just being a fucking freak if he can't open his eyes and realize that what he thinks is stupid.

Holy freakin' crap that's long. I didn't read it but the universal answer is vaseline. Try it and see what happens.

A sacrifice, What the hell are you smokeing

A cult is wrong. You love him, then let him be. He has to work it out for himself. It will come down to you or the church, then he has to make the decision. If he trully likes you then he will choose you, if not say, "Get a life you stupid nerd."

it norm to want to save some one you care about from something unhealthy.but at the same time it sounds as if you have considerd walking his unhealthy path to be closer to this man thats not healthy. sounds as if you should cut your loss and walk awy befor you also need to be rescude

Honestly, that sounds like the San Francisco Church of Christ... They made me really hate myself and they are the same way. I almost had to go to therapy after that...

Well, I've been debating on the internet for a while, and trust me, if i was in it to de-conver the Fundies, I would have given up ages ago. I just argue with Theists for the fun of it. Ironically, though, I've been told a few times that they actually have de-converted because of me. They weren't the people with "Faith" thoughh, they were probably people who were already no lower than 2 or 3 on the Dawkins scale.

However, your freind is already a 1 on the Dawkins scale. I doubt reason is possible.

If he hasn't talked to you in a year and is blatantly ignoring your ass, then f**k him, he's a jack**s. It's not your responsibility to save him and he doesn't want to be saved. It is what it is. (I say this from the knowledge I gathered from what you said about the situation)

You need to compromise the image of his leader in his eyes, try having a meetin with the leader and recording him saying some bullshit. Culties are usually too brainwashed to believe that anything that anyone but their leader says is true.

I didnt read it all, but all I've got to say is that religious people are difficult when it comes to questioning. They stick to what they believe and they never seem to change.

I think that they have such a great fear of hell that soing anything which could lead them to that place scares them so they dont't do it and restrickt themselves from being human since humans are born with natral si according to them.

start your own

hmmmmm... I would suggest trying to talk to other people that care about this person (such as friends and family members) try to get others involved kinda like an intervention, Kuddos to you for sticking by this loser(sry :P) for so long I hope it works out...

best of luck

edit:

I mean "whta kind of sex positions they SHOULDNT do cause they are sinful."

This guy has to find his own way in life, and maybe he will, but I wouldn't suggest waiting around for him for the rest of your life either. He must be a mormon, and if he is seriously devoted into that religion to that degree then I would stay away from him. If he is a mormon the one thing I don't understand is usually they are more than happy to help someone convert to their cult, but I guess if they know you are just doing it to be with a person then they ignore you. I don't know what to tell you other then you should leave him alone for awhile and try dating other people.

It's going to be tricky if it is at all possible. What he's into isn't normal. Your situation...pretty normal. Persisting so long, pursuing this one apparently crazy guy...not normal (or at least not healthy). What about him makes you so dedicated? Did you know him from before he joined the cult? If not, how do you know anything about him other that what he looks like if he won't even talk to you?

More information is needed.

lol .. friends before Evan dateing no wonder.. who does that anymore not the 1800s.

blow up his church.