What does he mean? and what do i do?

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6 Comments

(This is more of an story for adivce than a question of normality.)

I have this huge crush on my friend. And by huge, I mean HUGE. I've only felt this attatached to someone else once in my life. I can't stop thinking about this guy. But my friends indirectly asked him how he felt and he basically said that he could only see me as a friend.
Well, my friends have been jokingly making fun of me and dropped so many strong hints to the point where my other classmates (I'm a senior in high school) figured it out which basically meant I had to tell him because if I didn't, someone else would have and my other friends convinced me it would be better for him to hear from me.
Well anyways, I'm really bad at talking about my feelings to the people I have the feelings for. I mean REALLY bad. I've never personally told any guy that I liked him because I always freeze up and lose all of my thoughts and grow extremely uncomfortable. Plus, I really didn't want anything to be awkward between us afterwards.
But I ended up telling him (very awkwardly, of course. It took me about 10 minutes of awkward silences and glances at each other before I could to tell him). He took it well and I felt better. But he told me something, and I've been trying to figure out how to interpret it...
He said, "I don't know if there's anything between us, but who knows?" That surprised me because he told my friends, "Thinking of her in any way other than a friend is I guess 'creepy' in a way." But then he told this to me after I admitted having a crush on him. (I did include that I knew that he doesn't feel the same and that I'm fine with it.) I can't figure out how to interpret that.
Is it a nice way of saying he doesn't feel the same? Or is it an indirect way of saying that he has feelings for me? Or is he saying that there could be a possible future with us?
Also, things have been going back to normal with us. We're talking and joking with each other as friends like we did before I told him. I don't want to talk to him about where our relationship stands or may stand yet until he wants to talk about it. I don't want him to feel like I'm clingy or pressuring him to tell me anything.
So does anyone have any advice to please give me?! I don't see him until a week because we just went on spring break, so I hope to get advice before I see him again (or after. Late advice is just as good).
Oh, and what did he mean with that whole "I don't know if there's anything between us, but who knows?" thing???

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Based on 27 votes (17 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Your uncertainty is understandable since you have an intense crush on him and wish desperately he feels the same... But, you are reading into this way too much. This frenzy of over-analysis you're in is not going to help you.

    You asked,
    A) Is it a nice way of saying he doesn't feel the same?
    B) Or is it an indirect way of saying that he has feelings for me?
    C) Or is he saying that there could be a possible future with us?

    Based on your explanation of events and things said, I would have to guess A.

    You heard through your friends he doesn't like you that way. You let him know you're aware he doesn't have feelings for you. You also told him you are fine with him not having those feelings. This probably made him feel relieved; who wants to have things get awkward with a friend (?) - nobody. He didn't want to be mean to you--that would make things unnecessarily awkward--so, why not tell something ambiguous and friendly like, "I don't know if there's anything between us, but who knows."

    Notice I used a period at the end of his sentence and not a question mark like you did? It was a statement and not a question. By adding a question mark, you are making it even easier for yourself to interpret it as a proposition for a future romance between you.

    I could be wrong. But you are not doing yourself any favours by obsessing over this, if I'm right. I think you should spend your Spring Break getting comfortable with the idea that you two are nothing more than friends and that's probably all you will be for now. IF, and that's a big if, he does eventually change his mind about you, then I'm sure you will still be overjoyed despite coming to terms with the fact that he doesn't feel that way about you now. Stop tormenting yourself with fantasies of what might be and start being realistic; you don't currently have any sort of relationship with the guy other than friendship. Leave the excited obsessed feelings for when you have a 'real' relationship with someone.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      You're 100% correct. Thanks a lot! That helped me out tremendously. I should be grateful to be at least friends with the guy. I'll try to let the hopeful romance I wish to have go. Which is another thing I'm bad at since I'm a dreamer. But you're right. I need to relax.
      Thanks again!

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    And by huge, I mean HUGE.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      REALLY huge.

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  • ProseAthlete
    11 years ago

    I admire you for not wanting to put pressure on him or make him uncomfortable, OP. That kind of thoughtfulness and empathy is rare, and it's why this guy holds your friendship in such high regard. He's lucky to have you in his life in any context, and so are the rest of your friends. :)

    Thisissomuchfun already covered everything that needed to be covered, but I had to tell you how much I respect your courage in telling him and your dignity in not being clingy. You're awesome!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Thank you so much! It's difficult for me not to think about a possible romance with him so much and want to be with him so bad, but I admire our friendship especially since I don't have many guy friends. It's tough, but I have to set aside my emotions and feelings for the sake of our friendship. If he feels the same and wants to be with me, then hopefully he'll tell me (and maybe do a better job than I did and make it quicker than 45 minutes) and I'll be more than glad to accept a future with him. But I guess in the meantime, I'll just have to settle with being in the friend zone. Which I'm alright with.
      Thank you again! I appreciate your kind words and advice!

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