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I was physically punished as a kid quite a bit, and from personal experience I can tell you it does not make you respect your parents. It just makes you angry or scared. Personally, I would never hit my kids, I can't understand using physical violence with your own children.
| I support it | 10 | |
| I'm against it | 15 | |
| It's only okay in extreme circumstances | 12 | |
| Other (comment) | 1 |
When I was young, my mother frequently spanked me as well as struck my face. All it did was make me resent and almost hate her. All it taught me was that my mother had a temper problem and would hit me if she was angry enough.
I think it may be understandable in some cases but it's done way too much. If a kid is being bad then that's an opportunity to use logic to try teach them why they done wrong rather than violence.
It's the perfect way to teach them that it's OK for larger, stronger and more powerful people to use physical force against smaller, weaker and less powerful others. That's called bullying.
In any situation, the aim with children is to bring them up to respect their parents, themselves, and others.
Spanking is a way of getting there, but
-Needs to not be savage or brutal, balanced between doing no long lasting damage but being hard enough to get the message across.
-Only be done at an appropriate time. If it's something mild for example, the child should be given a second chance.
-It should always be accompanied by an intelligent, adult explanation and reasoning. The parent shouldn't express excessive anger when doing it.
Anyhow, it only really needs done up to the 10-12 area. When I grew out of idiotic kiddie things, my parents would sometimes nitpick for any reason to attack me, but that ain't fair.
*puts down whip with sharded glass ends and chainsaw*
But... :( ... now what? :(
I think a spanking with a ruler is ok if the kid does something to warrant it.
I took candy from a store. My mom spanked me and made me go to the store and tell them what I did. It was something I didn't do again.
I agree - it honestly doesn't do shit but scare the kid. And if a child is scared of their parent, they'll most likely not confine in them.
Unless it's an extreme case, I think if you're going to be a parent, you should be able to discipline your children without having to hit them. Spank them with rationale.
There is a time and place for spanking. Never a beating, but a spanking, yes.
My kids probably had a lot more freedom than many of their peers, but there were some lines the threat of physical disapproval kept them from crossing.
To be blunt, I felt it was important that my children were more afraid of me than peer pressure or some drug dealer.
Neither has ever had any problems with drugs, teen pregnancy, disrespecting authority figures or lawless behavior.
Okay. But are they happy? Do they love you? Do they feel safe in their own home?
A very limited use in very isolated, extreme circumstances may help but generally I discourage it.
Maybe it's just me but whenever I got yelled at or spanked for asking what I thought were reasonable questions eg) can I go on a camping field trip or visit a friend (which was met by a no), I ended up being depressed and frustrated so i turned to self-harming and furthermore trying to punish myself by punching myself or starving myself just to prove I was the one in control :\
There are definitely other kids who did the same. I wouldn't even count this under spankings, since you're being punished for nothing. It's abuse. Are you still in this situation?
No thankfully. Just bringing up memories from childhood. But I have went on the past few years thinking I was worthless and was diagnosed with anxiety and depression at 13. But I always remind myself to not let the past affect me.
A bit of background info:
My parents were old fashioned and it took them a while to kind of "let go." They apparently spanked/yelled at me out of love and also out of fear that I would get hurt since they didn't trust anyone at that time. They weren't born in Canada like I was so when I went to school I was confused that other kids got "privileges" that I didn't. My dad apparently got whipped as a child so he passed this superstrict mentally and also influenced my mom. My parents have apologize years later. Besides I'm a grown up now so I'm in control of my life.
That's good that your out of it then. I had a similar experience, my stepfather was really adamant about respect. He valued it over everything, he didn't care if we hated him or that we were unhappy or whatever else. I don't think he realized that we didn't respect him, we were just too scared to go against him. His father was pretty awful, that's probably what made him this way.
Like your parents my stepdad eventually changed and apologized as well.
I am confused. Your title said spanking and your text said violence. These are two different terms. Yes, a spanking to extreme can be violent but a spanking for as a punishment can work very well.
I have spanked my two daughters over the years. There has been no violence or abuse. Even as teenagers, they get spanked and given corner time when needed.