What do you think i should do? is my dilemma normal?
Well . . .I've been in love with this girl for nearly eight years and we were "going together" for 3-4 of them(its too complicated to be accurate). Last June she explained to me how she didnt want to be tagged as somone's "girlfriend," i understood(i love her and i honestly dont want to force her into something she doesnt want) and we agreed thst we were still together, minus the label. From that point until mid august things got a bit rough for us but nothing too extreme. Then, in late August she worked up enough guilt(my opinion) and told me she had got a new boyfriend(in july). I was told that I shouldnt be angry or hurt because we werent "together." I was angry but not because of what she did(we can't force others to love us) but because of who she chose and the fact that I knew it was coming. I know Im not a terrible boyfriend, i did everything a boyfriend is expected to do and more and i still have never met anyone that loves their man or woman as passionately as i love her. I do know that im not attractive and my dick is nothing to brag about by any standard. jumping into the future . . . at this moment my now ex-girlfriend and I are just friends but I'm still very much in love with her and she is still with her "boyfriend." She has told me that she chose him for purely physical reasons and she wanted to be with someone that has "experience," the consolation being that i am still a far better boyfriend, more intelligent, and a better human being. ive also been told that i am her favorite person and the best person she knows and that she loves me(the way Will loves Grace). this is important to me, especially in a world where everyone is used as a means. Even though she has told me that her relationship wont last and that we would be together again, i feel that this is wrong on my part. i feel she would only do this because she can see my sorrow which guilts her and that Im the safe choice(like in cliche films, where the girl must choose between the safe guy and the not so safe smoother guy), i believe these are also the reasons she first gave me a chance. I want her to be happy(even if that means my misery)and i know i wont be able to give that to her? i so badly want her to be in love with me(this wont happen)but i know that is a selfish dream. i feel that i have three choices: Wait 'til im given another opportunity, try to be an authentic friend(not waiting), or just leave her altogether. Both my love and lust for her tell me to give it another shot that maybe this time i get her to love me but, my logic and urge for her to be happy tell me to leave her be. I should be content with what I've already been given, threeish possibly fourish years. I dont know if i have the strength to be by her side as she goes off with other men but i know i dont have the strength to leave her and wonder if she's ok in the world. Am i a dick merely for having the urge to wait for her? Is my dilemma normal?