What do you do when you begin to feel attraction?

21 Comments

Hello. Me again.

I was wondering how people approach the choice of acting on those early feelings of interest for a person whom they do not know very well yet. This person being somebody who inspires feelings of curiosity, that spark of chemistry, and attraction.

Please comment to give me a better idea of what options and opinions are out there.

In your comment it would also be interesting to know if there are circumstances that you feel would complicate your usual choice of action. For example, it seems inappropriate to flirt overtly because the person in question is prohibited from showing their interest in respect of professional ethics. Thinking of roles like priest, doctor, police officer, nurse, teacher et cetera. How do you deal with those situations?

I am male. I am proactive and will try to make contact. 4
I am female. I am proactive and will try to make contact. 3
I am male. I would be nervous and need to see reciprocity first. 9
I am female. I would be nervous and need to see reciprocity first. 8
I am male. I tend to be passive. Wait to see what happens. 7
I am female. I tend to be passive. Wait to see what happens. 12
Other. Please comment! 4
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Comments ( 21 )
  • Incomplet
    10 years ago

    I'm female and it depends on whether the guy's proactive, nervous or passive.

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    • Hayze
      10 years ago

      Good point. I too tend to adjust my behaviour automatically depending on what the man I am interested in is like. Mostly I am proactive.

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  • KeddersPrincess
    10 years ago

    I open up the computer, find a fan site, click on "gallery", and stare.

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  • Unimportant
    10 years ago

    I just wait for it to pass. Feeling attraction is just like having the flu, it goes away after a while.

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  • kingofcarrotflowers
    10 years ago

    I start to think of all the things that could go wrong and how she won't feel the same, haha, I should probably stop doing that.
    Or I find a way to get a running joke going as I find if I'm too shy to make a move I build up to it using humor, for example the last person I liked, she would always sit next to me so I'd make her a tea whenever I'd have a coffee, seeing as the mugs were not ours I'd write little jokes relating to her nickname, this eventually led to an episodic story written onto each mug.
    In the end she'd always ask for a tea with a massive smile on her face

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    • Shackleford96
      10 years ago

      I love it when you can make connections with people like that.

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      • kingofcarrotflowers
        10 years ago

        Yeah, things like that don't happen all too often so when they do, it's something

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        • Shackleford96
          10 years ago

          Definitely, I feel the same way.

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    • Hayze
      10 years ago

      prizewinner for most endearing comment right here <3

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      • kingofcarrotflowers
        10 years ago

        Haha, thanks :)

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    • kingofcarrotflowers
      10 years ago

      It depends on the person though really, not everyone is into stuff like that

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  • CozmoWank
    10 years ago

    If they're a professional person I like to show them a resume', 3 references, and my aching erection.

    Are you the woman who likes a guy who used to be your doctor? If he's not your doctor anymore I think its okay to show him you're interested in whatever way you are comfortable with.

    Maybe tell him you think you have a yeast infection and get him to take a look. When he's poking around down there, lock his head between your thighs & profess your undying love. That oughta work.

    Maybe you'd prefer another approach?

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    • Hayze
      10 years ago

      Well if that works for you, CozmoWank. Personally any guy who involves his résumé to try to attract my interest is likely going to be sorely disappointed. I am not the type to get turned on for their achievements. The erection, however... ;)

      Yes, got me! Not that it was a secret. He is not my doctor anymore but finding a way to show him I am interested without feeling like a creepy stalker is going to be difficult. My question was more aimed at working out how people go about expressing their interests and as an additional question what others do when there are complicating factors. Any ideas?

      Yeah, that is pretty yuck. I actually did tell him that one of the reasons I could not have him as a doctor anymore is because I cannot have him, or any attractive man, poking around down there for routine examinations or anything. I mean seriously, I do not know how it works for you but I do not find sharp metal implements around my genitals particularly arousing, and the prospect of being examined like an organic machine instead of a woman is hardly sensual and enticing.

      So yes, another approach definitely. I want to hear what other people do.

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      • CozmoWank
        10 years ago

        Since you already know the guy most of the groundwork has been done. He probably has already decided for himself whether or not he finds you attractive. Its not like you're going to sell him on the idea. You just have to let him know you're interested. If he already thinks you're sexy or whatever, he would probably find it endearing if your approach was somewhat awkward. Ask him out to coffee or something. Then when your having coffee tell him him how much you enjoyed your physicals. : )

        Seriously, if I knew a woman who I thought attractive & I learned that she agonized over it like you, I would be flattered. Wouldn't you like the feeling knowing some sexy guy actually got all flustered about how to approach you? He may not be interested in which case you tell yourself its his loss. Good luck & let us know how it works out.

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        • Hayze
          10 years ago

          You make a great case for just going for it. Alright I will let you know what happens... if anything actually does.

          Honestly though, I will not be too heartbroken if he is not interested but I will be excited and maybe a little scared if he is. If he gives a positive response then I will have to actually go on a date where I have something to lose if I make an idiot of myself. When I am around him I always feel like I lose my wits. Strange.

          You say most of the groundwork is done and that worries me. I mean, can he really get much of an idea of who I am when we have mostly focussed on my health all this time? I guess he could quickly decide if I am physically attractive but he knows hardly anything about my hobbies, interests and that sort of stuff.

          Oh well, I doubt it matters really. It seems for most men that physical attraction is the first step to getting a date anyway so I just have to hope I meet whatever requirements he has in that regard.

          I hope he would be flattered :) I guess I would be if the roles were reversed. Sometimes in my silly little dreams I laugh at how funny it would be if he were going through the same thing right now.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    If I am attracted to a gal, chances are, she isn't attracted to me. But I have no way of knowing, if I don't make any attempt to get to know her. Rejection isn't pleasant, but never knowing is much worse.

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  • Who_Fan4Life
    10 years ago

    I begin to feel attraction when that trouser snake starts to throb.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Depends. If I am in the mood to, then I'd flirt. Most of the time I just laugh to myself about it (I don't like thinking I am attracted to someone), then stop being attracted.

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  • smallboobies:(
    10 years ago

    Normally I try to stop it cause the guys im attracted to never feel the same way, it gets tiring getting hurt all the time. Not the best out look on it...but yeah, thats what I do lol

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    • JohnTrollinski
      10 years ago

      Haha

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    • Hayze
      10 years ago

      Aww that is sad. I have the same problem from an opposite perspective. The guys who are interested in me are not the type I find attractive. I rarely find the men around me attractive enough to be actually interested.

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