What do i do?

Hi, What can i say, well, in 2006 i made the best friend anyone could wish for, he was brilliant, a real laugh, a true friend, 2007, i fell in love with him, i mean, i couldent help it lol, he was amazing, my best friend in the whole world, i told him how i felt, he told me, we loved eachother, we ended up going out, it was a dream, we shared our first kiss, we hugged for like half hour on end lol, i had the time of my life, but i wrecked it, he was loosing touch, didnt tell him parents about me, whenever his brother would come near, he would run off, to try and hide the fact we were together, it got to my head and my heart, i called him something i shouldent have, it hurt him, 2 months later, he dumped me, he said he would be my friend, but i abused that option, i followed what everyone was saying 'have a go at him', 'dont let him get away with that' we ended up splitting apart completely, i cried almost everynight, its been a year now, and i really miss him, he was my first love, i dont know what to do, but the worst is, i have a boyfriend, hes amazing, everything i would ever want, hes being distant now, i dont know what to do, i really miss my old best friend and boyfriend, he was the best, he hurt my feelings many times, he even humiliated me infront of his class in school, behind my back, by going on my msn and reading all my emails, i hate him, yet i love him, is this normal?