What can i do?!

55% Normal
6 Comments

ok, so here is the case, i am 23 years old, i am engaged to a man i simply adore, i love him so much to the extent i would literally die for him any way i've known him for six years we were together in college graduated the same year he was my best friend and so after we gratuated i felt that i couldn't let him go(i'm from an oriental country where frienship between boys and girls is not approved of) so anyway, we found out that we loved each other without even realizing it and so.....we got engaged and are on our way to getting married.
the problem is that recently he has a lot of pressure at work, i am not able to see him a lot or talk to him a lot because of that and even when he goes home he is too exhausted to talk to me so he goes straight to bed in order to wake up the next day and yada yada yada........ now i truely feel left out, i am an extremely emotional person and he is my only friend i need his presence so much but i don't find him any more we started fighting a lot because of my feeling that he doesn't care and he says i don't consider the fact that he is busy and all........... i don't know what to do, i cant leave him i just cant i need a way to keep my mind off him but no matter what i do or who i am with he's just always on my mind i never forget him i started going out more often, making new friends but it is noooooooooooo use!

please give me some friendly advice, i need him to care again, he loves me dearly and if i am upset he wouldn't even sleep, he says his life without me is not worth anything and that i am the only thing that keeps him going, also if i am sick or anything is wrong he would just freak out for me what can i do to forget him just a little and not be this gloomy all the time?!

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55% Normal
Based on 11 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • ImMe
    12 years ago

    When you finally find that someone that you love it is soooo easy to fall into the "we" and forget the "me". You need to reestablish the "me". You need to find those things that make you happy without someone else around... pick an old hobby back up or start a project of some kind. Something that you find joy out of but that you dont need someone else to do it with you... once you find yourself again and you wont feel so much like he is abandoning you and choosing his career over you. He found his me now you need to find yours. Hope this helps (:

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  • pay2play
    12 years ago

    By a dildo and leave it were he'll find it, he will soon tune into you again. If not let him find you using it. If not fuck a friend let him find you. Then dump him grow up and stop being so cling cling to him get out & get real again you have forgotten how it felt to be fancied by a guy who wants your body

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  • x6tence
    13 years ago

    I wish Ive had had a gf like you

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  • speedalive
    14 years ago

    I will be frank with you, please don't think I am being rude...

    As you have said that you love him very much and he loves you so much so that he will freak out if something happens to you. This alone tells you how much you are important to him and you must have realized it. You need to come to terms with his lifestyle too... U need to find something to occupy yourself and not to think that he is not giving you enough time. As 'Kat' has pointed out strikeout a balance, talk to eachother without telling one another that you have neglected me. I know that you want to spend time with him but it is good to understand his pressures too... Afterall he is doing that for both of you right?

    I am in a similar situation... I am in a long-distance relationship. He is very busy and sometimes it so happens that he wont be able to contact me for 2-3 days straight... sometimes I feel lost too but then I know that I am important to him. And it helps to tell what is in your mind to the other person nicely without offending them. This is what I do and we understand eachother quite nicely...

    Hope this helps you...

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  • Kat444
    14 years ago

    Work is pretty important, especially since you've both recently graduated and he needs to eestablish his career. So he's not being unreasonable. At the same time, he's not working everyday, right? You two need to find a balance between giving him time to relax on his days off and doing things that make you feel special and connected.

    Maybe there is some way in which you could have some moments of intimacy even on his busy days too. Like you could wake him up with a nice breakfast and spend a little time with him before he goes to work in the morning.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Your life is crumbling and you've made yourself & the bf an emotional mess because he is busy at work & hasn't had much time for you of late?

    Well if you plan to get married, much less stay married, you'd better get a lot more secure about and supportive of one another. Especially you. Because life has bigger challenges than this.

    Maybe in time you will build trust. But try not to hit the panic button too early next time you feel insecure.

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