What are your thoughts on having crushes while in a relationship?

11 Comments

Before I start, let me just say that I would not judge anyone based on this. I feel like there shouldn't be any crushes if you're committed to someone.

I'll give a small story:

I really am in love with someone, and have been for...honestly? A few years now. We haven't been together for as long as I've loved him, but, yeah. I was out with a girl friend of mine and I know she's been in a relationship with someone for 3 years. She saw a cute guy (but never spoke, and only saw him once) and told me she had a small crush.

Now while I didn't approve of that, I really didn't say anything. She's not acting on it, and she has NEVER cheated on him (really, HE'S the one we have to watch out for). So my question is...what do you feel about this?

I get jealous easily, but I always keep it to myself - it's usually something stupid anyways, and it goes away with rational thinking and reminding myself that I'm just being silly.

Recently though I've developed a small..."celebrity" crush, almost. I say celebrity in quotations because while he's not technically famous in a Hollywood Actor sense, he is a pretty popular person on Youtube.

I feel sick and awful for having this small crush, but I can't help it? Or, maybe I'm not trying hard enough? I would never act on my feelings because I absolutely LOVE and adore who I'm with - and I guarantee my feelings for that small little crush will go away within, say, two weeks tops.

IIN? What are your thoughts? I feel like a terrible person.

Normal - everyone's had them, and it'll blow over 30
Not normal - you unfaithful manwhore! 7
tl;dr 0
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Comments ( 11 )
  • dom180
    9 years ago

    It's completely normal because it's not something you can choose to turn on and off. It's inescapable and mandatory. If you can't turn it on and off, that means it doesn't say anything about you as a person or your level of dedication. There's no sense in beating yourself up about something you can't escape.

    It's the same as the feelings of physical attraction most people get in relationships which they can't control either. Having a crush is just the more emotional, romantic version. It's a romantic fantasy, and everyone is allowed to fantasize.

    If anything, feeling those feelings but refusing to act on them makes you a *good* person because you're facing down temptation.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Oh wow...I never thought about it that way, thanks man, seriously helped me. And just as I expected, it's already blown over - I'm all good now.

      Thank you again, this is really logical and I'm surprised I didn't see it this way sooner. Thank you :)Appreciate it.

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  • Bobblahblah
    9 years ago

    Bing tells me I struck lucky there.

    Smug mode

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Lol!

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Meh...just don't become a cheater over it.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I abhor cheating (I thought I mentioned that..no? Meh, whatever). I said I would never act on it; again, this is a person I've never met nor talked to, and probably never will since they are "famous". I look down upon my feelings and I feel bad, but it will blow over in a week or two.

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  • Whiskdow
    9 years ago

    Hmm,I think it is wrong,I'd feel guilty,but it's normal for some people.

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  • Bobblahblah
    9 years ago

    Tough luck dear? Too long, didn't read?

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    • iEatZombies_
      9 years ago

      Too long; didn't read.

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  • Bobblahblah
    9 years ago

    Is that third option tell your doctor?

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  • hauntedbysandwiches
    9 years ago

    I think it's normal to say "that guy is attractive" and never mention him more than once but if it's persistent, that's when it gets concerning.

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