What am i experiencing?

2 Comments

In the past couple of months something, I suppose strange has happened. After years of suffering from mental anguish, all of a sudden, my mind has changed dramatically. I feel this great sense of peace, not an emptiness, but a detachment from society and the world in terms of empathy. Everything and everyone is just a thing, and my mind is very logical, I find myself always asking "How does this benefit me?" and if it does not, it is discarded, whether an idea or a friend, whatever. I feel happiness, sometimes anxiety if I'm tired, and anger, and little of anything else. And no, I don't think I've become a sociopath, I don't enjoy lying or manipulating people, I believe very much in the truth and do not enjoy showing off. I don't think I'm some super-person like psychopaths do. I just don't care anymore, for anything except my own self-interest and living within a certain ethical system. I feel like a hunter, that rush and non-sadistic desire for things. In my mind I want to destroy things, not out of sadism but to get a physical thrill. I've cut all ties with family except for one person, and really have a threadbare social life to get laid. I feel a constant testosterone rush, I'm constantly horny, I barely show any emotion since I don't feel much besides calm and the energy of testosterone. Any ideas what this state of being might be? I had a delayed onset of psychological puberty due to abuse, I cant help but feel my mind is now overcompensating. I like this feeling, it's like a slice of heaven, I don't ever want to feel fear or attachment again.

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Comments ( 2 )
  • WeirdManFromTheSouth
    4 years ago

    Sounds like you're becoming a man. Remember men aren't supposed to have feelings. You're supposed to be like a badass robot. Be competitive at everything. And when you fuck bitches make sure they're in their place. Make sure you dominate women in bed. Never let a woman pay on dates. If you marry make sure your wife stays home and takes care of the kids.

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  • JustAMan107
    4 years ago

    I also have lost all real interest for social activities. I regularly skip dialogue scenes in films because it feels irrelevant. I focus just on, how can I put it, whatever satisfies physical pleasures. I was never very social, but this is a level of non-stimulation that makes it literally painful in my mind to socialize most of the time.

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