We should promote the idea of sperm jacking

44% Normal
21 Comments

Too many young men these days hop from ripe fertile woman to ripe fertile woman with no thought of a condom on their sex-fuelled minds. They simply take her sultry, “I’m on the pill” at face value and merrily plough her into the mattress, shooting ribbons of baby paste into her waiting womb.

The result is STDs spreading like wildfire, unnecessarily high abortion rates and worst of all unwanted children.

Personally I’ve had enough. It’s time we scare these fools into wrapping up their meat joysticks. It’s time to promote the idea of the sperm jackers- ripe fertile women desperate to make YOU their unwitting baby daddy and their ATM for the next 18 years.

I propose a poster with a diagonal split, a sexy young minx on one side with drawn on devil horns and a black box over her eyes reading “Don’t worry I’m on the pill” and a screaming baby on the other side with a price tag reading “15% of YOUR pay check”. The bottom would read “DON’T GET SPERM JACKED” next to a condom packet.

Variants of this poster would be plastered around every major city in America, Canada, Britain and Australia. I think scaring these boys into condoms would bring about a world of good. What do you think?

Voting Results
44% Normal
Based on 9 votes (4 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 21 )
  • Cuntsiclestick
    3 years ago

    If teaching people about safe sex in school didn't work, why would this? It does sound like a fun idea though. XD

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      It would strike fear in them financially. Schools rattle on about chlamydia and fertilisation with the heavy implication that if you shoot up some baby paste that sticks the unfortunate girl will get a termination or raise the child alone. No mention of the fat paychecks the unwilling father will be forced to shell out. Money talks, and the sperm jacker stalks.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • JellyBeanBandit
    3 years ago

    Having a baby couldn't lead to anyone becoming wealthier, even with 15% of a guy's wages. Well except if the guy was rich, but in that case he probably wouldn't be so stupid as to do that. So that'd be a ridiculous idea for a girl to ruin her life for an amount of money that wouldn't even come close to the amount she'd now need, so I doubt many would try that (except if the guy was rich).

    Still though a girl might not take the pill just because she's completely braindead, and then lie about it just because she knows the guy would refuse otherwise (ie. because she's evil). So the poster would still make sense for those scenarios.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      She wants a baby one way or another because society tells her the biological clock is fast running out. Desperate people resort to desperate measures.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • JellyBeanBandit
        3 years ago

        Ok fair enough. I think a poster like that would certainly get some hate, and perhaps for good reason. People would think it's sexist portraying women as evil rapists (because it is rape to lie to someone to get them to have sex with you where they otherwise would've refused). And adverts targeting just one sex can create suspicion, distrust, resentment and hatred between men and women.

        But no one could claim that this doesn't happen and a poster like this could bring some much needed attention to this societal problem. Ignoring it and claiming that it doesn't exist will only make it worse. So yeah, maybe if it was done carefully it could work.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
    • Mammal-lover
      3 years ago

      Dude I've known plenty of girls who were obsessed with having children. They'd do anything to get one. It's scary but true

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Anonymous Post Author
        3 years ago

        Precisely, men in their early thirties nearly always know the tale of a poor sap duped into becoming an ATM for an unplanned crotch goblin because he waltzed condomless into bed with some conniving hussy.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    3 years ago

    if this penis goes below 50 mph its gonna explode!!!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    Stupid is as stupid does.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    3 years ago

    I must therefore be one of the few females then who is genuinely on the pill and tell my potential sex partners this before sex. Not sure if they believe me or not but it doesn't stop them ploughing into my mattress shooting ribbons of baby paste into waiting womb. Fortunately the pill does the trick and stops me having to turn up 9 months later with baby in hand pleading that it's yours. I love my sex and will not turn away any guy who wants to dump his kids inside me. Hate condoms so its bareback all the way.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • SmokeEverything
    3 years ago

    Cant relate, never really met anyone dumb enough to think I'd be a good option for a pregnacy trap

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Bassmachine
    3 years ago

    Tell that to my boyfriend when he sucks my cock.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      I hope he likes the taste of chlamydia.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Bassmachine
        3 years ago

        We give each other sperm facials and then we tongue kiss.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • Tommythecaty
    3 years ago

    They’ve been trying to scare people into using them forever and nobody gives a fuck

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      They haven’t tried hard enough.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Mammal-lover
    3 years ago

    Sounds like a cool looking poster, however most places wouldnt carry it as it sounds potentially sexist. Cause you know its potentially against women so people will think you just hate women etc. You toats got a good idea and one you could probably profit from a littl bit

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • rocketdave
      3 years ago

      I'm bi so I can't be sexist as I love to sleep with any gender (especially ladyboys) but the baby con can only be worked with a woman involved.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Mammal-lover
        3 years ago

        Yea feminazis don't give a shit about that man

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • rocketdave
    3 years ago

    I've had this "I'm on the pill" malarky tried on me. Turns up with baby claiming it's mine so of to court we go.
    Unfortunately for these Gold diggers at 25 yo I had a very serious case of Mumps and have fired blanks for the following 46 years.
    Turned up at court, no brief, approached the bench, presented my test reults case dismissed.
    Just because you pump it up them that doesn't mean it's going to take .

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      What an embarrassment for that strumpet. I would have loved to see her face.

      However as most young men have not had mumps they’re spraying their virile seed around like industrial sprinklers, potentially fertilising eggs left right and centre.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0