Was this mean enough to hurt someone who truly wronged me?

30 Comments

This guy i thought i loved and who told me he loved me and wanted to marry me one day told me he was using me for sex and I was ugly, but still wanted to w my friend. His frinds are in short supply... now I know why. He acted nice when we were together but liesd to me over and over.

Anyway, I told him give me time to think about friends...mostly because I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me whether thats right or wrong. I wound up telling him no and that while i dont want sex from him anymore without the sex he had no insight and substance and he was boring as a friend i realized after iving it time to think about our friendship and i was sick of giving him free therpy for his problems.

He despritely begged me to stay hus friend because he was lonely. I think he deserved the cruelty i gave after what he dis to me. Was i mean enough?

Yes 18
No 21
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Comments ( 30 )
  • yourdeepestshame
    8 years ago

    The guy sounds like an insecure, dysfunctional mess.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Yes, he is. I wish that was clearer to me earlier. Thanks!

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  • NarutoUzumaki
    8 years ago

    >Tells you he wants to marry you
    >Tells you he uses you for sex
    >No friends
    Seems like the red flags for anti-social personality disorder

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Yeah I had little sparks of realizing something was off, but I put them aside, because I felt a great deal of love and didn't want to admit the truth to myself. I think he has a narcissistic personality disorder now.

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      • yourdeepestshame
        8 years ago

        He's not very good at using people; were he smart, he'd have exercised restraint and kept you in the dark, continued using you.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Yeah he wasn't very smart all along. I should have seen that as a red flag. I kept telling myself I was being a snob about him not being smart. Considering, he still wanted something with me he wasn't smart to do what he did how he did it!

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  • insanebotv21
    8 years ago

    Don't be that Ex who puts an ax through his car hood and steals his shit because he's an asshole... Passive aggressive behavior gets the job done effectively, quietly, and they won't even know it was you.
    Aside from that, if you halfway pretend to be his friend, all the while asserting you only want free food and don't give a damn about anything he says, it would be affording the same feelings without anything being put in. Also, make it clear enough that if he tries to have sex with you you'll break his legs.
    The above methods nearly always work, and will strain the relationship to the point where he either learns not to be an ass, or can't see your point and gives up. Either way, it's a win-win.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I'm not putting an ax through his car or stealing his shit... He made me feel like shit... I happened to know he felt like shit about how he has no friends and wanted to keep my friendship so I did the same thing back to him he did to me... told him I thought about it and his friendship was superficial and all he was good for was sex so nevermind on the friendship. I hope he cries the same way I did when he told me he used me for sex and that he found me unattractive. He lied about his feelings, told me he wanted to marry me and then was like never mind you're ugo, but please be my friend I have none... so I cut him down the same way. He hit on my inserurties and I hit on his. I think it was fair, but I hope I was mean enough because he tore me apart. I don't think you understood my story from your response but ok.

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      • insanebotv21
        8 years ago

        You asked if you were mean enough, and I gave you some for how to be more mean.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Oh LOL... yeah I can't do those things, but thanks for the support!!

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  • Steve2.00
    8 years ago

    Oh sob sob sob. *snivel*
    How very tragic for you. Get a life.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Pot meet kettle...

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  • justheretotellusumthing
    8 years ago

    It was sarcasm. My ex did this. I forgave the next thing? He began the punching. Bullying me. Run for the hills. U kicked him whilst he was down well done x

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Thanks. I feel like he deserved it and I'm glad I kicked him while he was down.

      I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. I hope you finally got out?

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  • justheretotellusumthing
    8 years ago

    Hes insecure. Dont give up on him. Please x

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      So I should just let him treat me like trash?

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  • Tealights
    8 years ago

    Just stop talking to him.

    You don't need to seek revenge. Why? Because people like your ex are going to be alone or dissatisfied for most of their life and NEVER understand why. They punish themselves well enough, you don't need to waste time like this.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      It's already done and I feel a lot better. No other contact or revenge needed. I didn't like it ending on his terms. I'm not the better person. Oh well! My question was about something I already did. Can't take it away. I just hope I did a good enough job kicking him while he was down. However, you're right he's always going to be dissatisfied! It took very little effort and I feel great!

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      • Tealights
        8 years ago

        The thing is, you can never hurt him as much as he hurts himself, he is the reason why he has no friends.

        Seeking revenge and having that "an eye for an eye" mentality will put you on the path to becoming a bitter old lady with a history of scumbag boyfriends. Now that you got that shit out your system, just think about that relationship and notice the red flags you've missed. Everyone asshole has those telltale signs, even the most charming scumbags have them, just learn to look out for them and create boundaries for yourself. Creating a better life for yourself is how you truly win, not that nonsense you did there.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Yes, moving on and learning is good thanks! Listening to myself about signs also good!! This is the only time I've ever seeked revenge, so I doubt it will become a habit

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  • yu-gi-ohChampion25
    8 years ago

    just be nice to people and they'll be nice back

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I was nice to him and he wasn't nice back.

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  • mysistersshadow
    8 years ago

    Isn't just moving on good enough?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Now, I can move on. I feel a lot better! I wanted it ending on my terms not his... Now I got that! He was down and I kicked him just like he did to me. Sometimes you have to make your own Karma! Oh and no it wasn't enough. I couldn't move on without this oh well! No one is perfect...

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      • mysistersshadow
        8 years ago

        I don't think it would make me feel any better but we are different people.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Did wonders for me. I just hope it made him feel similarly bad to how he made me feel and he learned something to boot. I suspect the former is at least true!

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          • mysistersshadow
            8 years ago

            I don't think the world becomes a better place when there is more pain and suffering in it. I don't think its necessary to get revenge for things and how can you keep score to make sure you did it right.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              8 years ago

              Maybe. This is my only dalliance with revenge and I agree about too much suffering in the world, but I'm not going to cry over any suffering I caused him. I can't really keep score you are correct, but I feel justice and at this point it's working for me. I don't plan to make a habit out of revenge and I will take what I learned from this to help me see signs better in future relationships. It's done can't talk me out of it now lol. You seem to be trying to do that :P I was asking if I was mean enough not how to go back in time :D... but no this type of behavior won't become a habit. It's not in my nature. That's why I even had the urge to check in did I do the revenge "right."

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