Want my teacher to adopt me

Hi, it seems you've created this situation where you view her as a mother figure, but you haven't given her any say in the matter.

She doesn't have to buy you presents, or even remember your birthday. I'm afraid that this is an unrealistic expectation that you've placed on her shoulders. At the end of your day, she is your teacher and you can't make her be any more than that.

I am a teacher myself, and we aren't even supposed to touch students at all (though I do believe there is a time and place).

What is the situation with your own parents/guardian/family?

OK I'm a teacher. Let me tell you, I was similar you as a kid - although I wasn't in care. Your post could have been written by my former self. But there is a lot you could never know unless you knew what a teacher's job entails and could envisage the situation from the teacher's perspective, which is VERY different to yours. Everything from teachers' absolute, seemingly obsessive insistence on 'no talking', to the reasons behind those seemingly arbitrary detentions and punishments they give that don't seem to be 'deserved', makes sense to us in ways it probably doesn't to our students. Your teacher's reaction to your affections is probably another one of those things: as a teacher I can see why she is reacting that way and it has nothing to do with being demanding or not caring about you, as you suspect.

Your teacher cannot be feeling comfortable about this, even if she really cares about you. You may not understand, but a teacher can never just be her 'true' self around pupils without potentially putting her job in danger. If you are in her presence, then she is on the job, no matter how much she likes it or how little it feels like work to her. The student-teacher rapport doesn't operate on the same dynamic as a 'normal' friendship. The teacher fosters a relational dynamic with the pupils that helps the classroom to function and the pupils to learn. It's almost like a boss-employee relationship. Except that part of her duties is a duty of care towards you. Understandably, the slightest hint of abuse and it's curtains for her career.

If she bought you presents back she could be accused of grooming. If she hugged you she could be accused of assaulting/molesting a minor. She is perhaps bringing her kids into it to try and keep the connotations strictly non-sexual as far as you are concerned and anyone else you might tell/anyone else who might observe what's going on... I think she's covering her back.

This woman probably feels awkward hugging you because of herself she is probably fond of you, but because she's on the job, it's not easy for her to return or encourage your affections without putting her career at stake. It would be that way even if you saw each other outside school, too. You have no idea how unforgiving the courts are towards the slightest hint or suspicion of inappropriate relations. She could lose her job just over a suspicion - even if she was completely innocent. What school would want to keep a teacher employed if there was even the slightest shade of doubt about her conduct? And could you imagine the talk and ostracism that would go on in the staff room/teachers' room if such a teacher was kept on?

If she is moving away from you a little it might be that she has woken up to the vulnerability of her position. And to be honest I'm not sure that teachers who indulge in fostering that kind of friendship with pupils really understand how they can become a vulnerable teenager's entire world, whereas the teenager is only one part of their own world. She can't see what the relationship is costing you in terms of your emotional health - all she can see is what it could cost her in terms of her career. Having you around will be a perk of her job - something that makes Friday afternoons bearable until she can go home to her partner and kids- but she isn't seeing how it's taking over your entire life, by comparison.

It might be best to stop hugging her and giving her presents, for your sake and hers.

This reminds me of my crush on my boss. It's unhealthy. And will only lead to pain. He's happily married with kids and is a good man who wouldn't betray his wife. It's. Crush I need to break and I thought I was but last night I had a dream about him so idk. Any ways you should look at it that way as well. It's something that you need to break for your own good and sanity

May I direct your attention to lower-right area of your keyboard?

The key immediately to the right of M and the one to the right of that are very helpful for those who wish to produce text that's readable.

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I think that you serve yourself well to just let her go. I think your feelings for this teacher of yours have quite naturally put her in an awkward position. She has kids of her own, and you need to respect that her kids are first before anything, and anyone. I myself don't have any children, but I have a cat that I think of like a child, and I put him before anything, or anyone except for my two elderly parents.

I also think that it is probably somewhat normal, and natural for you to have become overly attached to this teacher of yours who has shown you kindness in past, and maybe you felt like she was a surrogate mother to you before. However, I think you need to give her some space to breathe. She has her own family, and the expectations you have put on her sound quite suffocating.

You need to let her go.

I think "looksomeoneswielding" gave excellent advice. But just some off topic advice I recommend you always add periods after your sentences. It can be hard to understand when you dont.