Want her to use me
There is this girl who I really like, ever since I can remember. I went to the school dance alone, asked her to dance and she said no.
Even though she said no reluctantly, it hit me like a bullet. It took me all weekend in isolation to pull it together.
A few days after that, there was a small explosion in the woodshop and I realised that I should not waste my time thinking about her.
So, I started ignoring her. I would not look at her, talk of her, and rarely even thought of her. I had moved on, I thought.
Later in the year I befriended a complete loser, this hurt my popularity. His constant negativity put me down.
After a while he faked a mental breakdown to get out of taking a test, he screamed at me like I was mean and the teacher kept asking me what I did, nothing.
So I started being mean to him when he came near me, ( keeping him away so he could not hurt my rep any more )
After this I made new friends, got new clothes, and most importantly I once again felt like I could take on the world.
This general character improvement helped me earn some respect, and some attention from the girl.
I kept catching her looking at me, and started getting caught eyeing her( on purpose)
She even smiled at me a few times and I felt myself beginning to like her again.
On the last day of school, she flirted with me a little, and I was hooked.
I know she is the kind of girl that would manipulate me and use me for attention, and that makes me want her more, because I know that I could keep her coming back for more.
is it normal that I want her to use me?