Virginity is overrated.

This is funny. And kudos to you. While your sentiment on this matter is atypical, and arguably suspicious (as one can only wonder as to the possible true motives behind this feeling), I'm delighted to see someone else who questions this whole ritual and it's overbaked importance among the sex-noobs in pop-culture.

As I've observed, there is a singular reason men are given a moment of pause upon discovering you're still a bona-fide virgin: imprinting. And there are two minds on the subject. The first is "Conquest." This represents the opportunity to be the first name on a girl's list, setting the baseline, being the benchmark, being - in essence - immortalized in your memory, and more than that, to bask in the alleged 'snugness' of a fully intact woman. It ends up being a notch on the notorious belt, and often times a story to be told and wielded not only to garner praise for the moment, but also to accumulate big-ups stata on the long-term among the fellow menfolk. Alpha males (and D-bags alike) tend to champion this perspective more than the alternative. Which brings us to the other reason: "Dread." Some guys are just trying to empty the tank and get on with their day. In this regard, it's barely as important to them as it is appears to be to you @ present. But they acknowledge the fact that if they can just some make some f**k with someone, they can then get on with their lives with focus and contentment until the next fix consumes them. The reason I called it 'dread' is because for many of the reasons the alphas desire - immortalization, the snugness, the benchmark - other men would truly wish to avoid. And this is because sometimes, when they're just trying to get some, they really don't want to be bothered and burdened with the possibility that the poor girl is going to remember this/his nonsense - as unspectacular as it is likely to be (and you will remember it, sadly, even if you intend not to) - for the rest of her life, or @ least the next many years. And to that, depending on the success of this experience, will be a story you tell to your girlfriends or whomever during some night out in the future either with angst and embarrassment, or with acclaim on par with a standing-O (forgive the pun). Oh, the pressure. Some guys just don't want the pressure of being remembered or valued in manner more than they are willing to value it/you, which can be very low on the Give-a-Shit totem. So given the opportunity, some guys will jump to hole-punch you, and others will disengage and find a less heaping and burdensome pigeon-hole to penetrate.

So then, is your feeling normal? I suppose not. Most 19 year olds on either side of the spectrum are largely - if not solely - motivated by sex and/or the sexual pursuit. After all, what other motive could there be for all of the inebriated shenaningans late teeners/early twentysomethings seek out? To get 'high' (by whatever means) or get laid, as I've observed, and that seems to be the long and the short

I'm nineteen and a virgin as well, and I personally am saving myself. I don't think it's odd for you to lack value for virginity in today's society simply because sex is thrown at you in every possible outlet. It's on the tv, internet and everywhere else, so the sacredness of the act is sort of lost in translation.

And as for people putting you on a pedestal, just because you're a virgin doesn't mean you're not sexually active(if you catch my drift). I personally take pride in my virginity. It's a novelty these days.

Eat lots of eggs. JK
You know whats best for you! If you don't want it to be big, then it won't be. It'll happen eventually. So unless you have a date you want to get rid of the darn thing by you're all set.
Just watch out for STD, STI, etc.

If u meet someone and lose your virginity with them and stay with them then happy days, but tbh, if u lose your virginity to someone u hope to stay with u r putting yourself under a lot of pressure because what if it doesn't work out? I can see how u feel about it not being important. I can't see what all the fuss is about, my first time was crap tbh and not all the fireworks I was lead to believe. It can lead u to feel disappointed if you put too much emphasis on it.

We are all different, others may want to loose their virginity but realise they want it back when it is gone. Only mention you are a virgin if you are asked, & just say you were busy with other stuff whilst everyone else was loosing their virginity, surely they will understand.

Don't say anything about your virginity and pretend you know what you are doing. I gave mine to a stranger and don't regret it. I don't feel empty or used. If anything I used the guy.

I didnt care when i lost my virginity lol i wanted to do it with someone i wouldnt regret but i didnt care that i lost it. I mean just tell people ur not a virgin if it freaks em out that bad, but youre right everone assumes that ur saving urself and sometimes its just not true.

:) I went out of my way to make my first time as non important as possible, too. Best friends birthday, one of her friends that I didn't really know.

We called each other once afterwords to be polite, and left it at at.

I'm actually really happy that it's how it happened, because it was casual and without the stress of 'OMG, is he staying/going/loving/etc...'

I think you're perfectly normal.

Wow 0_o This is what I get for not checking in so long.

@ Judas
Ha.Ha. No, I'm seriously laughing. What if I said Siberia?

Glas to know that I'm the only one who thinks that it's just sex. No way in hell I'm getting into some sort of messy relationship just to get rid of it. I fancy myself as a fling person, I suppose :P

Nothing special about either...no mystic or spiritual significance what so ever. Either you are a virgin or not [period], perhaps there is some cultural significance in cultures that care about such a thing. But in the modern world it makes no difference except in that you are not likely to contract a STD.

When it does happen, the day will go on as normal largely unaffected by your deed. You may or may not feel that the "act" somehow entitles you some special treatment or commitment from the other person. But in any case such treatment and/or commitment will be relatively short lived. In the end you will eventually get pregnant, perhaps more than once and perform the act with various people. The act will either lead you to manipulate and control other people or you will be manipulated and controlled by it...until you reach your 30's and nobody wants it from you anymore.

Instead Of reading these very large possibly offensive, crazy speeches of reply's,

Yes Perfectly Normal.

go on and lose it, show no fear.

but in losing it, dont lose dignity at the same time. doing it with strange mr. joe down the street or some predator or just plain not the way you do things, is not normal.

ya. i'm 22 and still a virgin. some of my friends are too, though.. and to be honest.. i'm not moralizing but YA, i am proud to be one. i used to get made fun of (oddly enough, in the eight grade by a bunch of non-virgin girls.. in retrospect, who loses it that early?) and i'm sure others get made fun of for it too. but as i get older i find people are respecting me a lot more for it. as you mature, you begin to see your virginity in a new light. it isn't a stint in emotional development; you have not 'not grown up' properly; no initiation need be made.

i am like you too, however. lol. i haven't had the opportunity yet. and like you I get QUITE annoyed when people think i'm 'saving it for marriage.'

I don't personally feel that way, but a lot of people do.
Think about it from another person's view.
You wouldn't want your daughter to think that way.

Wait...where do you live LOL :D

If you don't tell the person you are a virgin then it probably won't be an issue. If you practice masturbating with a dildo a couple of weeks before then nothing unusual will happen your first time.

In my opinion virginity is overrated. People say you should lose it to your "one true love" but how do you know you won't separate later on?

oh my god, its so annoying when people think you're a virgin because you're waiting! i am a virgin, but only because a good enough opportunity has yet presented itself! as soon as a hot guy comes along i will be happy to "lose the v-plates".
but not get into a "relationship". what a waste of time.

It's just sex.

I have only been with one man my whole life(my husband) and I really regret it. I feel like I done no real living. Go have sex, you will feel better getting it out of the way.

I never write short ones, really. But glad you enjoyed, and that it was of some relevance to you. And good luck in your future power-virgin conquests. :)

//T

letely adored the pun. I've a love of those :P

Thanks everyone, it's a lot to think about ^^

@ GrimElyse
I think it's great that you want to wait and are holding yourself to that standard. You brought up a really good point that I hadn't thought about. Debased by the media. It makes such perfect sense, since I've a thing for being degraded, which is the level that it's been brought to.

@ illegroAD
Wow. Long post. Some good input and great wording. You had me laughing at several parts. I just always thought it was polite to let them know because all my friends said they were mortified if they took someone's virginity and they didn't know about it. The problem with just f**king with someone I know is that I give this aura off that says I have better books to read and would rather do that than talk to you. Or something. Sigh, time to meet some new people, I suppose :P
Thanks for the glimpse into that male mentality. Very enlightening, and a bit amusing. Makes me think of "a day that will live on in infamy." I think one of my biggest problems with the one guy who stopped because I was a virgin was that he had told me about how all the other virgins he had sex with flipped sh*t after awhile, and it was like he was comparing me to one of those needy, desperate girls, which I hated. I pride myself on my ability to always be rational and independent and for him to think that I would trade that for being clingy because he was "my first" is so increadibly degrading. Still, maybe I'll go make a couple male friends now ;)

Thanks for all your input ^^

I guess everyone values virginity because it's something you can't get back. Personally, I don't. I'm not the type to save it for somebody special, but I don't go around whoring myself out either. For me, sex is an expression of love and care. I don't think the first time is much more important than all the rest. Sex is only as special as you make it.

So yeah, I'd say it's normal, but it all depends on your personal view.

Virginity is overrated because of the huge influence religion has had over the general populace. This is also the reason people assume you're saving yourself, again because this conviction is typically fueled by religious belief.

There has been a major push supporting chastity by evangelicals, in the form of events where teens make commitments; memorializing this occasion with a purity ring. It's also important to realize that Christians believe in chastity, which is a much broader term than virginity.

If you're not religious I see no reason for you to value virginity.