Very low sex drive again

50% Normal

My sex drive has gone up and down several times for the past year, but when I say up and down, I mean my drive has gone from very low up to semi low and then back to very low, a few different times. It's back to very low now. The first time after being really low, it got a little higher through me eating a little healthier and even taking Viagra a few times. Then it got really low again in spite of me doing that. Then it got a little higher again a couple of months ago, I think because I was excersising more (and the weather was hotter, if that was a factor too). Recently, it got very low again in spite of me still excersising, and eating healthier, and warm weather, and if I take Viagra. My drive in general just overall keeps sinking. I know that I'm in my mid 40s now, but that's not that old. I've tried watching porn to try to "get it going" again, with no effect during my very low drive times, and little effect during semi-low times. I'm ready to give up worrying about it, because drive is about dead for good, it seems. When I was younger, and my drive was significantly higher, I didn't know that it would be gone by my mid 40s, but I guess it's the case with me. I also take high blood pressure meds and opiate pain killers, I've been to my doctor, who suggested the healthier eating and excersise, which I've done. Anyone have any other ideas on why it would've kept falling lower and lower in this slightly up and down way?

Voting Results

50% Normal

Based on 6 votes (3 yes)

Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!

[ Report Post ]

Comments ( 20 )

TerriAngel

4 years ago

You might change your focus.
Think about how much of your time, thought, money, and actions have been spent just trying to get laid.
Really stop and think about it..
Now,
what do you have to show for it?
If the sex is not so important put your energy into something else.
Then the what if girl, if that does happen.
Its no big deal.
In the mean time though, who knows what you may accomplish if you apply yourself.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  I've not been trying to get laid, I've been trying to figure out why my drive has been so low, and I've been concerned about a woman I may meet who'd I'd want companionship with, but not sex. But I was afraid that she wouldn't want the comlanship or anything if I wasn't into the sex part, which I'm not wanting because of my very low drive. But, I'm not even as worried about that anymore as I was when I posted this, since I've thought about it more since then and realized that there will be someone who will want just a friendship. And I'd only want that some of the time anyway since I like being alone some of the time and having my own space. And I was also worried about my low drive because I've worried about it being a serious underlying illness like cancer.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
LloydAsher

4 years ago

Low testaterone is definitely a problem when you reach your 40s it's a slow decline from your 20s when you reach 40s your free testaterone also drops leading to poor sex drive.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
Boojum

4 years ago

Medications which improve erectile function do nothing whatsoever for a guy's libido. They improve blood flow to the penis and make an erection possible, but it's stuff going on in your head that triggers the physiological changes in your penis that trigger an erection.

Viagra is never going to make you as interested in sex as you were when you were twenty; it's just going to make it more likely you'll get an erection if you are sexually aroused psychologically. Also, Viagra and other erectile dysfunction medications can have serious side effects, so I think it's not a great idea to take them routinely.

You mention that you're on medication for high blood pressure. I hope you've discussed with your doctor whether it's safe for you to take Viagra along with the blood pressure medication you're on, since there are combinations that are known to lead to very serious issues.

Lack of interest in sex can be due to lots of things, such as depression, general health issues, prescription medications, and just the accumulation of the stresses of modern life. But some doctors these days believe that the way guys commonly lose interest in sex as they get older is often due to falling testosterone levels.

I suggest you ask your doctor about this and consider having a blood test to check your testosterone level. Be aware, however, that there's some debate about this in the medical community, and there are also conflicting views on the value of testosterone replacement therapy. Do some online research before talking to your doctor, and see if the symptoms of low testosterone seem to fit what you're experiencing. Unfortunately, there's lots of crappy, ill-informed information about low testosterone out there, but you can also find serious information from reliable, medically qualified authors.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  I've been to my doctor about this, and she told me that she was really apprehensive about testosterone replacement options. She did aknowledge that the blood pressure meds may be part of it. And the opiate pain killers too. Even though most of my issue is physical, I do have an increasing lack of interest in sex too. I'm just still concerned about my impotence because 1) it can still mean an undiscovered more serious underlying illness I may have, and 2) I still may find a woman one day who I'd hit it off really well friendship and companionship wise, but she'd automatically not even want that when finding out that I can't get an erection and that I'm not wanting anything sexual with her. And if I do establish some great friendship, I'll only want it part of the time because I like living and being alone part of the time also.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - Boojum
    
    4 years ago
    
    To be very blunt, you come across as quite an anxious guy, and that in itself can't be doing anything positive for your libido.
    
    None of the things you express concerns about are stupid or irrational, but it sounds like your worries are constantly whirling around in your head and sucking you down.
    
    I'm a couple of decades older than you, and I can relate to the decreased libido thing. For me, it's only been a noticeable decline in the last few years, but I'd be lying if I said it doesn't bother me. I'm sure that if it had hit me when I was your age, it would have bothered me even more. But we're all dealt the hand that we've got, and if there's nothing we can do to improve the cards, then the only choice is to either feel miserable about it or learn to cope, make the best of it and move forward.
    
    To be blunt again, I think your concerns about some hypothetical woman who might possibly come into your life at some point in the future rejecting you because of your erectile dysfunction and general low interest in sex is a little bit daft.
    
    It is true that some women want and need sex in a relationship, but there are women who have never been much interested in sex and others who have lost interest in it with the passing of the years. Also, it seems possible you're locked in to the idea that the only "real" sex is penetrative sex. That's simply not true, and nor is it true that a man can only enjoy sex if it culminates in him ejaculating.
    
    Our culture places a great emphasis on the role of sex in relationships and it is true that a great sex life can be huge fun for both people and deepen the bonds between them. But it is possible to have a positive, fulfilling and loving relationship without any sex at all. That's very difficult for young people to believe, but it's true nonetheless.
    
    Given all you say, I have to wonder if you might be depressed to some degree. The vibe I get is that you're very much in your own head a lot of the time and you're not finding much in your life to be positive about at the moment. That could be wrong and I obviously can't suggest exactly what you might do about it if it's true, but maybe you should consider if there's something you can do to shift your focus of attention from worries about ageing and your health, and on to something out in the real world.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    1
    
    1
    - TerriAngel
      
      4 years ago
      
      Nice reply.
      I agree.
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      Well, I've been thinking about this more since yesterday, and I think that I'm going to except and cope with my situation. I see that you recognize that it's normal for a man in his mid 40s to not be happy about being impotent, but you are right about how learning to cope is the best strategy. And I agree
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
RoseIsabella

4 years ago

The medications you are taking probably have a significant effect on your sex drive.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  That may be it. But, I also must take them. I had blood pressure of 170/120 when not taking the meds at all
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  1
  
  1
  - RoseIsabella
    
    4 years ago
    
    Hey, brah, I'm not saying to quit taking your medications. I have high blood pressure as well, and it's been such a pain in the ass in the past couple of years.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      I know that you're not saying that I should stop my medications. I was just stating that I think it sucks that without them I have dangerously high readings.
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      1
      
      1
      - RoseIsabella
        
        4 years ago
        
        I know, believe me I know about high blood pressure. It's a pain in the ass, and can be scary.
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0
Doesnormalmatter

4 years ago

How much sex are you getting? Sex drive is only so much within your control. If it's really a big deal for you there are some things you can do that might help. There are some good natural test boosters out there although not a lot so you gotta be careful, you can exercise differently to maximize the benefits that has for you as well. What sexual stimuli you get affects thing to. I would stay away from porn and favor toward real women most times.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  I don't want to seek any real women anymore, because they aren't going to want someone limp and impotent, unless it's a friendship. And the last few times I was with women, over a year ago when my drive was still not as low as now, I still had trouble getting it up, they noticed and did not like it. They liked me and wanted sex, and I enjoyed being with them, until we got to the sex part, and then I couldn't get turned on or get much of an erection. But it wasn't because of them not being attractive, it was because of my low drive. My issue is alot more physical than mental. But I'm starting to mentally not care about it so much anymore either. I just still have a concern about it meaning that there could still be something wrong with me health wise that hasn't been diagnosed yet. And I'm concerned that I could meet a woman someday where I'll love her companionship but not care about the sex part with her, but then she wouldn't want any of it, even the companionship, when finding out that I'm impotent. Like I said further up, I don't really want to find a woman to be with sexually.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - Doesnormalmatter
    
    4 years ago
    
    Lol then what's the point? I don't understand why your complaining about your low sex drive and then saying you don't actually want a woman. What other purpose does a sex drive serve?
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      I've complained about my low drive because a) I'd still want companionship with someone, but not the sex part. I'd already thrown a couple of female friendships away because she wanted sex and I didn't. And b) I've been worried that my drive may mean a more serious underlying illness. Some guys who are already almost dead at 44 have that issue because of having another illness.
      Anyway, I'm not even as worried about the possible spoiled future friendship thing anymore as I was a week ago, since I've thought about it more since then, and was only then looking at the couple of friendships I've ruined by not wanting sex with them because of my drive.
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
- Boojum
  
  4 years ago
  
  From what I've read, the "testosterone boosters" hawked by online sites are all snake oil. If there's an effect, it's due to the placebo effect.
  
  As for something being labelled a "natural" cure, that always raises my hackles. Mushrooms are perfectly natural, but anyone who believes that they can safely munch on any mushrooms they see growing in the woods because they're natural and organic deserves exactly what they get for their idiocy.
  
  The same applies to traditional Chinese medicine or folk cures. Most of that shit is pharmacologically inert and relies on the placebo effect, and some of the stuff that does have active ingredients can kill you.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - Doesnormalmatter
    
    4 years ago
    
    Yeah placebo is big. And a vast majority of test boosters are useless and every single one is overhyped. Its a frustrating market to deal with but I'd be lying if I said nothing did anything.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
[Old Memory]

4 years ago

Now that you’ee not thsinkjfnnabiur rates why sobbing so you donshrjkfn prodhxhbdvd with your life like working on s. Building site

Comment Hidden ( show )

-1

-1

Are You Normal?

Very low sex drive again