Valid reason for cheating?

78% Normal
9 Comments

This is gonna be long but I just have to ask.

I knew her since the second grade, lived next door, same school, same class, best of friends, we even shared bubble gum back then. I know, gross. Bottom line; we were inseparable till tenth grade. it was pathetic actually. and then she switched towns.

I next saw her two years back at college and to no surprise we hit it off almost immediately and i think i can skip how ridiculously awesome our relationship was because i don't think its even possible to put that on paper.

But something changed.
She eventually didn't wanna have sex (understandable), be touched (kinda understandable), or kissed (wtf?). she had less and less time for me. Problem was i guess i was a bit too naive and just loved her all the same.
Without any warning communication on her side just went abruptly dark. Didn't answer my calls, my texts, nothing. So here I am worried, wanting to check on her but my friends say they've seen her around and I should just wait it out a bit.

I did just that but almost two weeks later I go to check on her at her place and she cant even step out to see me and sends the maid to tell me she's sick. I didn't argue.

I'm not invited to her next house parties (though my friends are), I had to miss her B day, she missed mine, my concert and it genuinely drove me insane. I heard roumors that she was seeing someone else. In that time I just decided to cut all communications myself and catch up on the life I had before her. Quite a truckload had piled up. One of those being a girl i used to fool around with. She's in my dance crew and i'm pretty sure I would've asked her out if Kim didn't show up.

Something almost happened but i left her place in attempt to compose myself. it occurs to me then to send a message only saying "should we call it off?" Its only then (like 2 mins later) she decides to call back. No apology, no explanation and I have to stand there and listen to her educate me about how every relationship has its problems and how i want to jump boats at ours.

The day before yesterday we're invited to do battle at some night club, It was a blast and we decide to stay and celebrate but then she shows up with her people and the guy she's with is wearing an old t-shirt of mine I gave to her. Upon seeing me he quickly takes it off, shoves it in a satchel and walks around in his vest... He has scratch marks all over him. the same kind i got when me and her went at it.

We walk past her and her friends on our way out and she stalls Valerie who's practically hanging off me at the time 'cause she's a bit drunk. Next thing i know we have a cat fight on our hands and the same guy balling up familiar girls underwear in his fist looking at me smiling.

Simply put, i cheated on her that night with Val in the parking lot. She agreed to it herself. She knew my motives but didnt care. I could have dumped her but i didn't. I wanted her to know what i did. How it felt. If she didn't have the decency to call it off before doing the same then what gives me reason to?I mean I'd been starved, shut out, cheated on and lied to. Why go out like a p@#$%?

Even now I'm still getting asked why I did that and it's getting to me but do i really have to care? If you're gonna go out it might as well be with a bang right?

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 50 votes (39 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Drop her like bad cabbage.

    "If you're gonna go out it might as well be with a bang right? "

    Classy.

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  • iamNOTnormal(:
    11 years ago

    The relationship wasn't technically over. But I point finger either because after her childish behavior I can see why you would feel hurt, neglected, ect. When people put you in that type of situation it often cause you to feel a bit of rage and possibly crave revenge. You did a lot better than what most people would. Most guys who normally don't put up with any bullcrap from a girl would have went off the deepend with "you gunna act like a bitch ill treat you like one!" I do have to say that you did stoop down to her level by using the excuse of (she did it so why can't I?) but I can't put you in the wrong either because it was obvious the relationship was its end anyways. But just from my opinion I think you should have been the better person and cut it off completely before doing anything with someone else. Not because you should be the better person for HER. but you should be the better person for YOURSELF!

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  • RoseIsabella
    11 years ago

    Yes it's normal. I was anticipating giving you the cheating is always wrong bit but... I think you should completely break it off with your so called girlfriend. You don't have to be mean about it or anything but basically tell her it's over. This chick completely cut you off and then when you ask if ya'll should call it off she says gets you to stay. It sounds like she's a master manipulator to me. I mean if someone gave me the cold shoulder the way she did you I would just assume it's over and just stay away. But I understand that ya'll have a long history together. Still I figure if a person refuses to communicate and basically won't have anything to do with you it's best to cut said person loose like a fart in the wind. I think you and this Valerie just used each other but I wouldn't call it cheating because until you sent that text your so called girlfriend acted like she didn't even know you. I only know your side of the story so maybe I'm wrong but from what you've told me I think she's cold, manipulative and controlling. In the future when you start to get red flags with a girl and she starts acting weird try to talk with her about what's wrong on her end and if she doesn't wanna talk and just plays head games cut your losses, cut her out of the picture and move on with your life. If you find yourself feeling badly depressed seek out the help of a therapist and give yourself permission to grieve. After all you've spent a sizable chunk of your life with this chick. All the best to you!

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  • Lune
    11 years ago

    This sounds like a good plot for step up 9.

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  • ucipher8
    11 years ago

    That was a lot to absorb. If i were more experienced in human relationships, maybe i would have a better answer than, you should have remained fateful until you found a reason not to.

    But you did the despicable anyway... For someone like me, born to be despicable, cold, and without emotion, Its easy. I can put things away once i realized how far I've gotten, or how much trouble I've caused.

    I will even keep pursuing if i knew it meant a righteous cause...

    I feel sorry for the circumstance. But true relationships, they aren't always a 24/7 affliction. All my best friends, never call or talk to me. Also, they all have lives that require more concern over me.

    Im sure in time, you two will reconcile, because it sounds like you did what you did out of passion and not just something as dumb as revenge or anger. Your partner, might understand that.

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  • Obxgirl19
    11 years ago

    It was over when she stopped coming around, now your her just in case guy, just in case she needs something.move on say goodbye, mourn the relationship, move on.

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  • Sog
    11 years ago

    Cheating?

    The relationship was effectively over when she cut off communication with you, stopped inviting you to parties, and didn't even recognize your birthday.

    She's playing you for a fool. It's unimaginable that you actually called her and asked for permission to be with someone else after she stonewalled you for weeks. You are enabling her to take advantage of you.

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  • Redflameshoes
    11 years ago

    Bravo sir. Being a dancer myself I would have personally owned her in front of everyone at that club. And snubbed the douche in my shirt too.

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  • Maya05
    11 years ago

    I'm surprised you've lasted this long with her. I would have ended it pretty shortly after her cutting contact with me. As for the cheating. Normally I'm opposed to it, but this is a rare case where I actually approve. To hell with her, focus on your own life and be with someone who actually wants to be with you.

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