Unsure if girl likes me. am i annoying?

17 Comments

A few days ago, I sent this girl a letter over Facebook (lame) saying that I really like her and would like to get to know her. She didn't respond. When I talked to her the next day, I said I was sorry I sent it and didn't mean to come off as a creeper. She said she wasn't sure how to respond to my letter, so she didn't write me back. I could tell she was shy, but I couldn't tell if she thought I was annoying/creeping. I talked to her the next day and she seemed to be happy to see me, but I wasn't sure. I really want to talk to her, but I don't know if she wants to talk to me. Am I annoying? Should I back off? In the comments, can you tell me how I could approach this situation?

Annoying 15
Not annoying 43
Unsure 24
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Comments ( 17 )
  • NeuroNeptunian
    12 years ago

    Well I don't think that you are being annoying, it is a tad strange for a complete stranger to do that over Facebook but you two know eachother in real life and maybe she is not the type of person that is used to people being straight-forward with her. You'd be surprised how shocking it is to some people when you are forthcoming with them. Just slowly keep trying to befriend her, just don't push it.

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    • frankiestrange
      12 years ago

      Indeedy. About a year ago, I met this guy who was friend's with my friend. He was a complete stranger, but I was instantly attracted to him, and fancied him quite a bit. Later on I spoke to him over Facebook gradually, shared interests and what not. Around Christmas time we arranged to meet and he asked if we should turn it into a date. When we met up we couldn't stop making out, and he's been my boyfriend ever since. :)

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  • myownopinions
    12 years ago

    Maybe not annoying, but you should probably try getting to know the girl first, though don't try coming on too strong.

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  • AusDingo
    12 years ago

    Play it straight, then back off. To be honest, chicks get freaked out about the tinyest shit. You talking to her, then just being normal every time you see her from now hence is the key to driving her crazy.

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  • blaster
    12 years ago

    I really hate that feeling.Once I pretty well ignored a girl I had the hots for , for 2 yrs . But hey she never even looked at me , we never spoke. So I thought I'd be annoying her, she didn't like me , maybe she even despised me. Guess what , we ended up going out together and it turned out she'd felt the same all through. Chicks can be beautifully funny creatures sometimes.
    Gotta be in it to win it and if you lose, such is life.

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    • usrname123
      12 years ago

      Thanks man. Really gives me hope. I've liked her for a really long time. She's also in four of my classes.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    Your problem is that you seem to want to know RIGHT NOW. And that you're trying to determine exactly what she thinks of you from very very little.

    What you really need to do is ... relax about it.

    Let her get to know you. It won't be the end of the world if you can't have her. But if you relax about it and just let her get to know you... you might end up with a friend who likes you. Maybe even more if it works.

    But you can't rush things. Rushing things just leads to uncomfortableness and being awkward and then worrying that you're doing too much or too little and then you over-compensate for what you think you might be doing wrong. and pretty much you think it to death.

    So be polite to her and friendly. and see if she responds to it.

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  • OnThisEpisodeofLife
    12 years ago

    no don't do facebook love confessions

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  • pegger
    12 years ago

    just ask her straight out if she likes you or not

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    You got your foot in the door with her, that's great! Now all you have to do is keep being friendly and chatting it up with her at school.

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  • Frosties
    12 years ago

    I don't think you were being annoying. You were being honest and the result of your actions is making you think you need to be less open and honest. That's a shame.

    I think people sometimes play games because they're afraid to be honest (this isn't you, by the way), and sometimes people play games because they're afraid to deal with honesty (this might be her). Either way, honesty gets replaced with games that nobody really wins. And what is the point of a game if nobody wins? That's worse than a game!

    Stick with the honesty. Maybe just release it in small doses and see what comes back.

    P.S. If the definition of "creeper" is someone who was honest, someone has got the definition wrong.

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    • AusDingo
      12 years ago

      Yup, creeper is 13-18th century romance from afar, from an old dude to a 13 year old girl. Everything now is fairly mundane.

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    • Anime7
      12 years ago

      From personal experience, I think that has become the definition of a creep nowadays. Frankly I'm an honest guy and I've been called a creep several times, much to my dismay.

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      • Frosties
        12 years ago

        That's genuinely dismaying. I've seen your comments on the site and you seem intelligent, honest and well-meaning. Women do appreciate those qualities but many of them also seem to be turned off by eagerness.

        From personal experience, they like to imagine you've come to a (very) slow realisation that she's the most wonderful woman who ever existed (even if you already knew that from the moment you met her and she took your breath away).

        Honesty is wonderful in a long-term relationship, but to get that relationship sometimes you have to pretend to be less interested than you are. I know it seems odd to us men, but we seem odd to them too. I imagine there's all kinds of things they do to smooth the waters with us.

        I hate saying this because it sounds like a game. Maybe a better way of looking at it is patience. Make the smallest possible indication that you're interested, even if it seems too small to notice. Just a second of eye contact, that kind of thing. If you've gone too small, be slightly bolder. There's no such thing as too small, though. Too little and she won't notice (so you can try again). Too much and you get a negative reaction that's difficult to recover from.

        I wish it was as simple as noticing a girl, liking her, and just telling her the things you like about her. In the long-term, it is that simple and you can be honest (thank God). It just doesn't seem to work that way at first.

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        • Anime7
          12 years ago

          Wow that seems very complicated. However, I have to agree with pretty much everything you say, although I really wish that it was much simpler. In all honesty, I don't think that I would ever change the way I pursue women, I'm not really interested in anyone currently. I really would appreciate it if I met a girl who was different from what you've described, but I think that your generalization has to truth to it.

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  • NothingxCrazy
    12 years ago

    This happened to one of my best friends before. Me and the person who sent the random FB message to her are still friends 6 years later. Haha.

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  • truercheese
    12 years ago

    I don't think you're being annoying. She probably just didn't expect it at all. If you don't know if you should talk to her right now then wait and see if she talks to you on her own. If not, talk to her tomorrow!
    I'm sure everything will work out, I mean, if she seemed happy to see you, then she can't be annoyed!
    Good luck, I hope things go how you want them to!(:

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