Unsure how much of my love for someone is lust or soul,& what it means?

5 Comments

Perhaps this is too clinical of a description as it's all very "blurred", but in a general sense, sometimes it feels like Im in love with my woman and other times I don't. And it seems to have a strong correlation with how horny I am.

We usually spend weekends together and we'll have a great time out the town enjoying life, then we usually have sex like 2 or 3 times that night/weekend.

Then when all is said and done I go home and off to the work week and I don't wanna talk much with her or feel nearly as much in love with her.

It feels as though I'm on this repeating cycle where I fall in love on the weekend, and I wonder, even though I enjoy our time out and about together, how much of that is still me just being slightly horny..

It feels so confusing (love) At least in the way I've felt it ...Obviously intimacy is often a very important element, but I'm consistently conflicted about where that line is when determining real love.

Im assuming that in a lot of relationships both elements (intimacy & social/soul bonding) seem to be important..

--- but can you still be In love if you feel like the scale is tipped towards the intimacy, ultimately being the majority cause for you to have loving feelings for that person?

We've been together for 7 months, and I do adore her personality and i enjoy our dates, but i could also confidently say that without intimacy i'd get bored.

---Does that mean its not true love? Can you Have true love with sex being the majority drive in causing you to admire her?

In addition because it all happens together its difficult to compartmentalize it, I'm just so confused.

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Comments ( 5 )
  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    Too much emphasis placed on “love” in a relationship! Love is fleeting....it doesn’t last! Just have fun while it lasts....and fuck every chance you get!

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  • barefoot_on_the_sand
    5 years ago

    You can't rationalise love, if you do, is it love really?

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  • Lestat565
    5 years ago

    True love is a myth. Science says that your feelings for someone will change. Love always fades. The reason why you might feel more love or loved during or after sex is because at that moment your brain is being bombarded with with the love chemicals. The same chemicals get released from doing some hard drugs. At some parts of history love in these types of relationships were frowned upon. And considered strange. Relationships weren’t built on love at all. And historically you didn’t even choose who you would be with. Your parents would. Don’t think too much about true love. If you enjoy spending time with them that’s enough. Anne rice once wrote. Be careful in choosing your companion. Choose them because you like the look of them and because you like the sound of their voice. Choose them because you love them. If you don’t it won’t last very long.

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    • Indigo1
      5 years ago

      Good words of wisdom! I appreciate you sharing :)

      You said, "If you enjoy spending time with them that's enough"

      But that's the thing, I like seeing her 1-2 times a week and i usually call her 2-3 times in between but more than that is not all that desirable,and even (but not as often) less then that is desired. so my "enjoying spending time" with her seems to be on this seasonal weekly cycle, and she has been pressuring awhile now to see and talk a lot more often. part of it could be because i work so much , maybe if I wasn't so stressed out and busy id enjoy it more.. but i can't tell.

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      • Lestat565
        5 years ago

        I would say that you should keep looking. It’s hard to find someone that you really enjoy being with. Sex is great and great for a relationships but if you feel that it’s the only thing keeping it going. Then it’s just a matter of time before it ends. Just don’t fall into the trap of. I’ll stay just so I don’t hurt the person I’m with. I’ve done it far too many times and it’s wrong and cruel and hurts both of you.

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