Unable to leave past behind me

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4 Comments

Everyday I struggle with memories from my past. Things I have said and actions I have done to others to hurt them is causing me emotional pain. I have sunk into deep depression and do not feel like doing anything. I struggle to go out and do something to better myself because I see the people I've been arrogant to and the people who used to be in my life who I miss that are not in my life because of my actions. I did things to make others happy and now that I look at myself I do not know what to do with my life any more to make myself happy. My health is declining due to the sadness and when I look at myself now I only see a used and abused person. I am literally stuck in my cycle of frustration with the job I am doing, my living conditions and the fact that I have no friends and everyone I try to be friends with has stopped corresponding with me. I know that I am the laughing stock of the town because when I do go to work I hear conversations from others as I walk by and I know that they are talking about what I did in my past and it breaks my spirits because I did things that make me look foolish.

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70% Normal
Based on 54 votes (38 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Past is past, make amends for you wrongs if you can apologize whatever. You have realized you have fucked so time to move on. Trust me I have burned many people in your time due to drinking and drugs (sober now) from pulling guns on people, stealing cars, bashing my step dad, stealing cars, hooking prostitutes you name it. But I am a totally different person now, i have tried to make ammends for my wrongs. Some you cant fix and some people may not forgive but thats the way it is. look to the future mate. Dont get stuck in that rutt, i have been there and even tried to take the easy way out by cutting my wrists. Pull yourself out of that darkness. Change whatever you have to even if you have to move citys. I went from being scum of the earth to being a human, animal and environmental activist, find your passion and your outlet and make the change.Think positive.

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  • Burrito_Dick
    13 years ago

    what did you do cum in someones coffee?

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  • BOYracer88
    13 years ago

    oh my god this sounds very very familiar, where are you from i think i mite know u

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  • one_green
    14 years ago

    I am so sorry that you are so sad. It sounds like you have so many things going on right now that you are feeling a bunch of very sad things....The only way I can see for you to climb out of this is for you to get professional help. I would start with a family doctor. Tell him how you are feeling...how you feel about your life right now. Ask him what his suggestions are. He will know what to suggest. He might suggest a counselor or psychologist. If you can't afford one, tell him that....there are resources in most towns for people who can't afford them or if you don't have insurance. I wish you the best of luck. Have hope.

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