Udiism

I have a firm belief that Udi is in fact god and the ruler of all creation. I am so retarded that I actually believe that the world is 10 thousand years old and believe everything anyone says and the angel Gabriel came to me when I was high and said that Udi is god so it must be true, see my logic? Well I have just as much proof as every other religion so it must be true huh?

This is what I believe:
Udi waved his magical hands and we all appeared but the evil lord Xenu came and made people un-normal so 10 thousand years later (remember Im retarded and ignore all the evidence against that claim) god (Udi) came to earth and created the site Isitnormal where all the most messed up people in the world can come and compare how f**ked up we are. He made 10 commandments
1) Thou shalt worship Udi and have no god but him
2) Thou shalt not kill, unless it is someone of a different religion because thats acceptable in every religion.
3) Thou shalt not be blasphemous.
4) Thou shalt f**k a girl every other day.
5) Underage boys are not accepted into this religion, but underage girls are perfectly acceptable.
6) Thou shalt worship Udi and only Udi
7) Udi is a jealous god so he made sure that in his 10 commandments he comes off as a douche but we must sit there and take it.
8) thou shalt w**** yourself out on Sundays and every religious holiday, if a religous holiday were to fall on a sunday then you are half priced.
9) thou shalt believe the random and ridiculous stories that seem to be made up on the spot
10) Thou shalt believe that this religion is not taking the piss out of Christianity.

I swear to Udi this is what I believe in. Also Udi f**ked his girl friend but because they were related he claimed it was not sexual and both were in fact virgins. The inbred child grew up to be able to walk on water and be such a drunk that he has to turn water into wine when they run out.

Dinosaurs were not real as they are not in the bible, the bible has yet to be written so this is it right now. Udi just made those bones and the dates to f**k with peoples heads. he also makes non-believes be banned from is it normal forever but if you follow the commandments then you will become an admin to this site.

This is my legitimate belief, is this normal to believe that Udi is god?

Voting Results
25% Normal
Based on 73 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • sportsmom

    Wow. Stupid.

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  • Mastersash

    I still can't believe IIN would post this shit over my simple question about computer programming.. Does anyone else other than Udi see coding?? Or was that question just a equally dumb as this forum posted on this site? Well, if it was, then please don't respond.. seeing as no one should have responded to this authors statement in the first place.

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  • anti-hero

    1 & 6 are the same.

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  • 1000yrVampireKing

    You are a complete idiot. What religion says kill anyone not part of the religion? Does not in most religions I know of. Are you saying Buddhist are sent to kill none Buddhists? How did UDI approve this? Leave your assholery of the website you moron. RUN EVERYONE THE MONKS ARE COMING TO SPREAD LOVE AND PEACE!

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  • somanydumbpeople

    DUMB!

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  • You're a dumbass.

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  • Mastersash

    *Thank yiu.. Hope it stays that way ;)

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  • Mastersash

    All the aspects of control, but not God;

    *P.s. PLEASE take down all of these horrible adds on the sides :( >>>>

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  • Sil3nt_The_Apathetic

    GWOT - Didn't bother reading.

    But I'll take a guess at this one and say............. Uhm, No. It's not normal.

    What did I win?

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  • Hail the Gerbil, praise him and you shall be saved.

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  • Sorry I can't join your religion. I am a firm believer of the "Church of the Gerbil." You can find it here.

    http://www.corg.org/main.htm

    and in my faith, we were at a war with the "Church of the Bunny" but thank the great gerbil in the sky for our salvation against the unholy bunny.

    Now our greatest fear is Richard Gere sticking yet another holy one up his ass.

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  • ryolle

    Udi is the best god to believe in, because he actually exists. I saw him with my own eyes, and had my ass handed to me in ping pong by him. His other powers might be slightly exaggerated, but just slightly. He does have a mean backhand slam, though. Beware!

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  • Thanx. I need friends right now *kiss*

    Tobra

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  • I'm not sure, but I am getting the definant feeling I've just been zinged.

    OMB

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      -
    • dontknow

      No Way! I've always been straight with you.

      Even if I wanted to, I can't "zing" you now - your taken.

      Go to my profile and read my other posts...you'll see.

      "definant" - no comprende (definite? / defiant?)

      Ima fan

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  • 5) Underage boys are not accepted into this religion, but underage girls are perfectly acceptable.

    So THAT'S why Spam Javelin is no longer around!

    Tobra - ROFLMAO!

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    • dontknow

      So you have attempted to post some good stuff, O, and it has been rejected by an Udi?

      It's only about $10/month to host your own url, so why don't you start your own site and put all of that wonderful advicde to good use and, in a way, live your childhood dream to rule the world.

      it could be

      www.octoberwatersports.com
      "where you have the right to get pissed off or pissed on!"
      :)

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  • pringlehopper

    erm.... I reckon it was Udi :)

    -Heil Udi

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  • pringlehopper

    Should I add more to this religion?

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  • pringlehopper

    OMG this got through, funny how he lets obviously fake stories through as long as they say hes god.

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