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I have a twin sister who is a minute older than me and is in a wheel chair. Is it normal for me to get very annoyed when she says she is going to get married before me. I try to laugh it off but inside my head I am screaming for it not to become reality!
Why is it annoying you? It's no competition getting married quicker than somebody else, if you're having a competition I may only say that the relationship with the partner you're going to marry is going to be very dull
Thanks! I know you didn't mean to be harsh, but you were bluntly honest and I thank you specificaly for that!
I didnt mean to be so harsh, just wanted you to recognize your subconscience thoughts. Glad youre feeling better, make sure you support her & try not to let your feelings show. This is a very important part of her life & youll regret it if you dont share in ger happiness. Good luck!
Thanks! All of your comments helped; even the harsh ones because it was everything I needed to hear!
There's nothing wrong with feeling that way because it's clear that you care for her as a person. As long as it's not bitter or spiteful I'd say it's just teasing. Everyone's saying that life isn't a competition but in reality competition is natural. It's an instinct to compare yourself to others and strive to do better because of it.
I think the fact that she's in a wheel chair is a pivotal fact, because it's a hit on your self esteem to be lesser than a handicapped person. Understand that this is not to say that you view her as a lesser person, it's merely a subconscious and natural response in the laws of "survival of the fittest".
If she say it that often lol it sounds like she knows it's something that gets your goat. Really it doesn't matter who gets married first. Life isn't a competition and no one should want to rush it along, it's already to short. Just enjoy being young and responsibility free.
Wow I never really thought about it that way. It does have to do with the rest of my story because... I just don't know. I guess I never really took to time to notice how much her life has already been more delayed than mine. I know it is wrong to feel this way I just want to know if it is normal. I do know I used to not really care who got married first till she started saying, "I am going to get married before you do," when ever we got into a fight (at least twice a day) for a long while.
What I want to know is why you mentioned shes in a wheel chair? It has nothing to do with the rest of your story. It makes it look like you think youre better than her, & should be getting married first... because she has a handicap & you think that should make her life more delayed than yours.
yeah you are right and I really do try to allow her to have this fantasy and even if this fantasy of her getting married before I do it will be ok. Thank you for understanding and my twin and I are identical.
I am also a twin. For some reason, twins, especially identical, are completive. Allow your sister this one fantasy, what does it hurt?
If she does get married before I do I will be happy for her because she is my TWIN SISTER.
I know getting married before a sibling is not a competition. I think it's my pride. I guess I just hate the idea of getting married last and that is why it annoys me so much! I also feel like I am the older one since I am the one who mostly watched over her after school or whenever we had days off from school and my mom wasn't home.
I agree with TheBestAtWhatIDo. You have to understand her situation no matter how weird it seems. I think she hopes to get married as soon as possible, because she is insecure. I think you should support and understand her.