Turtle dreams

In order to transition from man to turtle.. 1st you have to go on a spiritual journey through the magical forest of YaiVagithor. On this perilous quest you will encounter a tiny leperchan. He will offer you many fishes, riches, and fine bitches. You must decline. you must RESIST! less ye' be banished to the outer realms of of your imagination. But i digress, you need to capture the magical leperchan and take him to the old wise man who lives on the highest point of mount yolo. As you climb this mountain you will fight off many flying demon 4 winged unicorns. Be sure to bring your shield of justice that you should of gotten when you saved the princess from the snow elfs back in the forest of YaiVagithor. When you reach the top a man with a skull made of sticky green goo will ask you why you have came. You MUST answer with "i'm just here to twerk as the boys jerk". Then the old wise man will appear in bolt of lightning. Do NOT be alarmed. He will be naked. Then you will present the leperchan. He will hand you a magic drink made of grape kool aid and the jizz of many trolls. Drink and you will awaken to find yourself in the great desert in the lost city of failed expectations. Walk south north until you find the floating "dig here" sign. Dig until you find the hidden chest that my ancestors have buried many ages ago. Open it and you will find your shell... inside your shell you will find a message that says "hahahahaha fuck you, you arent really a turtle just a bitch inside a shell". congratulations

By a backpack, fill it with all you own, and travel the world. That is my definition of a human turtle.

Wish upon a star.