Trust issues or jealousy?

24% Normal
5 Comments

I am a girl. The guy I like (we aren't dating because of distance right now) says he trusts me, but it feels like he doesn't. His last relationship, his ex kissed another boy and now he has trust issues... And now it's like I'm living in a past girl's mistakes. I don't know if it's trust issues or just jealousy?

I'm really close to my best friend (also a male) and we have been bff for two years. But he accuses me of cheating on him with my bff. I reassure him that I'm only friends with my bff, but same story over and over.

He also hates my best friend sooo much. And it's like I'm always choosing between them. I hate it so much. We always fight over my bff.

He always gets mad over the littlest things. I find myself having to hide pictures or comments on facebook from him, because I don't want to start a fight. I feel like he's looking for something to start a fight.

He freaks out when I don't text him back right away too. He's mad at first, then acts really sad. And of course, this upsets me. :/
I find myself making up excuses just so he won't get mad at me. Like when I don't text right away because I don't know what to say, I end up lying and saying I got the message late. I know that's not okay, but I don't know what else to do.

He asks me who I'm talking to, what about, and if I'm going out, he wants to know where and when I'll be back. But he doesn't like it when I ask him the same things. He'll just say "I don't know."

He's a big guy and it kind of scares me when he gets mad. If I'm talking to another guy, he's like "I'm going to beat them up". And they haven't even done anything...

He uses his emotions to control me, and it works. I find myself just giving in when he's upset just to make him stop. We talked about just staying friends, but he said he can't live without me. I don't know what to do.

It's hard dealing with this daily, but I love him... I don't want to give up on everything. And I have talked to him about most of this, but nothing has changed yet. Is his behaviour normal? Does he actually trust me and he's just being protective? And what should I do?

Thanks in advance.

Voting Results
24% Normal
Based on 37 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • PiAnt
    14 years ago

    Jealousy, envy, possessiveness and insecurity.

    I think you know already where this is going to end up.

    Everyone else does.

    You really need to get a grip over what is going on. Confront your bf with your fears and tell him plain and simple that, despite your love and affection for him, unless he changes now, you cannot be with him.

    Or don't say anything and live like this.

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  • paperless
    14 years ago

    I don't really think that's normal. Trust is soo important and the fact that you even have to hide facebook comments from him says it all...

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  • Krazyhawk
    11 years ago

    Ehem...I want to get this right...ehem...DUMP HIS ASS.

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  • sparklepop
    12 years ago

    I have been in a relationship like this, my ex said I shouldn't use the Internet because I couldn't trust myself on it, and his reasoning was "why do you think *I* don't go on there!!". He alienated me from my friends and made me feel like a crim all the damn time just for doing my own thing. It ended with me leaving him after three agonising years of his jealous rubbish. Don't stand for it, you are your own person and frankly, I don't think he can be of right mind if he says he can't live without you - love is not looking for someone to complete you, it's being with someone you can be complete *with*.

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  • lynny4949
    14 years ago

    It pretty normal for someone that's been cheated on before to act like this. You should tell him if he doesn't start trusting you you can't be with him.. Trust me that line WORKS! He'll change if he really loves you.

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