Trauma towards holidays with boyfriend

56% Normal
4 Comments

So, on Christmas and New Years Eve holiday, I bought tickets to this city around a week earlier for a trip my boyfriend has been talking about with me since September.

He's visiting his brother and going to be around some friends from afar.

I told him I bought the tickets then days later he says on the day I arrive and the day after his brother book tickets to a neighbouring city. I asked him whether I should change to an earlier or later flight and he says he's "not sure. I mean it's a 2 days thing and you'll be surrounded by all my friends. It's more about, you want to do it?"

I told him ofcourse I would but that it's not about my selfishness either and he tells me:
"Babe, honestly I think it's a bit forced for you to join us. At first I thought it was fine...but not I sort of think it's not."

Needless to say, I'm not going, and without refund (he knows). We're still together but now I feel sort of traumatised and I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable booking trips with him for the holidays again...or trying to meet these people (his family and close friends).

It actually hurts me. Alot. I just realised this after he sent me photos of his brother and his friends. Makes me tear up that he would send me photos of people he doesn't want me to meet.

Is this normal? Or am I being melodramatic?

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 9 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    I can't believe you two didn't discuss all this BEFORE you bought unrefundable tickets.
    If you actually did, then he's a total jerk and you should find a guy who considers your feelings important.

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  • Jebus-Kreist
    8 years ago

    Wrongs on both parts it sounds. But he kinda goes farther by inadvertently rubbing it in.

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  • (s)aint
    8 years ago

    If you discussed this before you bought the tickets, he´s a jerk. If you booked them before discussing you both need to work on your communication.

    I´d be sad if I couldn´t meet my boyfriends friends too :s It doesn´t sound normal. WIth my boyfriend we hang out with his friends sometimes, and sometimes he hang out with them alone just like we do with my friends.

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  • KingTermite
    8 years ago

    Well, it doesn't sound like you booked a trip with him this time. It sounds like he booked a trip, and then you booked a trip that just coincidentally was to the same place.

    You should go anyway and have a great time and tell him all about it. Or, just go and spy on him to see what he's REALLY up to.

    Or, give the tickets to ME! I'll go hang out with him.

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