Trapped to failure by my own circumstance (long)

I died for 30 seconds when I was two years old, my mother was blamed unfairly for my own stupidity, and I was raised by my father and grandparents.

My father was in Vietnam, and suffers heavily from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. He felt I was all he had left in life. As such, I was kept in a bubble, not allowed to go outside, not allowed to make friends. If anyone came over to play, they were sent away.

I became quite the scholar and geek, even at a young age. I developed a 187 IQ, and was reading on a college level by the age of 8. Despite this, I developed quite the inferiority complex, that I wasn't good enough for anyone else.

My grandfather was the emotional rock of the family. When he died, at the age of 14, it came to me to be the emotional rock for my father and grandmother, who I also then had to take care of alone, since my father is disabled.

High school was incredibly tough, with me relating more to the books than to the other students. I was shunned, beaten up, and despite it all, abused due to my trusting nature.

I went to college when I was 16. I eventually gained my Computer Technology degree and became A+ Certified as a technician, and even got a vocational degree for Computer Service and Repair.

It is also important to note that I am a huge tabletop fan. Dungeons and Dragons, I play numerous video games, know tons of trivia for movies, television, and music.

I live in a state placed firmly in the Bible Belt, in a town which is basically a retirement community full of churches and the elderly. The people my age drink and do drugs, neither of which I would ever do. I do not smoke either, though it doesn't bother me as much. The rest of the town shuns me.(I'm more of a Univeralist Buddhist Christian Scientist.)

I cannot move out of this house, because if I do leave, my grandmother and father will rot and die, as the rest of my family will not take care of them in the slightest.

I refuse to send them to a nursing home. As badly as I was treated, they deserve better.

I have no friends at all. Online, I sound like a pompous jerk, which I do not mean to. I just have a sarcastic sense of humor. The only place that has people of my hobbies, interests and personality, are 70 miles away.

I have often felt suicidal, yet my logical brain will not allow me to do anything about it.

I feel selfish. In order for me to live my own life, I have to practically end two others. And I have too much of a loving heart to do that to them.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Voting Results
48% Normal
Based on 25 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • ttty

    You sound like a very good, giving, loving person. Not many people could cope with your situation and it is truly unfortunate that you have had to, particulalry since such a young age.

    Can you talk to them about this issue? You needn't abandon them, but I do find that people are often more self-sufficient when they must be, as you are, and given too much help can become accustomed to being lazy or weak. They may be capable of supporting themselves more than you give them credit for. By all means, do not abandon them, but you should be able to find a way to continue to love and support them without being a martyr.

    And seek couseling. You've been living in a very warped situation and it has skewed your perspective perhaps even more than you can realize. A therapist can also help you improve your social skills, though ultimately you must do the legwork.

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  • JaneM

    When I read this I identified with you in every way.Run,man.Run.I am not being sarcastic or making light of your situation.I am dead serious.

    They are GROWN people.They have to let you live life.They will destroy you from the inside out because they don't realize they are doing it.

    Once the "bubble" is bursted there is going to be ALOT of CRAP that happens.But man,it's inevitable.You are smart enough to know what you are supposed to,and supposed to not do.The issue is "trust".You must protect yourself in new ways,learning not to let people take advantage of you and stick up for yourself.

    My honest advice is to get out there,and not let this stop you.Because life waits for no one.

    Don't depend on anyone.Do your own thing.Be strong,and you will make it.I swear.

    -I wish you well!

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  • UnintentionallyIgnorant

    i find that i am able to give decent advise to others even though when it comes to my life im not always perfect. and i dont know you but i am now going to give you my analysis if you will. first i would like to say that a 187 iq is quite impressive and that alone has a big part to do with some of your problems. like my post name and every human on this earth at some point we are all unintentionally ignorant. People tend to fear what they dont understand. and with you being on a whole other level brain wise compared to your peers they might be jealous of your smarts or might think you think your better than them(seeing as you yourslef said you sound like a pompous jerk). im no genious but and this might sound pompous myself but most people are very ignorant and choose to be because its easier(even you and me yes). honestly i think your so smart your bored. and that you need better mental stimulation. i know you care deeply for your father and grandparents but dont let them ball an chain you. all youll get is what if and youll harbor negative feelings toward them and yourself if you reach the end of the road an dont try. do you think your family would rather watch you rot from the inside out? i think not. and if they do then they suck. you gotta go through with your destiny man. the old are supposed to be old and the young young. live your life it only comes once. and if this first half of life hasnt cracked up to what youd like you should do whatever you can to make that happen in the second halve. i also feel you on the suicide thing ive been depressed to the point where i wished i would just die but i couldnt take my own life. "Its better to live on your feet than to die on your knees," Best wishes man dont give up the fight.

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    • Aionios

      I want to say thank you, to both of you. It means a lot to hear from people, especially considering I didn't expect a reply, let alone two positive, constructive ones.

      HotChickie81, you found an excellent job. I hope things continue to improve for you. May you find what you seek from life itself. And may we all help one another in the duality of social interaction through our common bond, personal strife. To quote the American Congress in 1776, "E Pluribus Unum", or "Out Of Many, One".

      Unintentionally Ignorant, you make many valid points. I see where you are coming from on many of them. I must say, if there is anything I can do to lend assistance, to either of you, please let me know. I hope only the best for you, and that your struggle comes easily, as though slicing through a kobold with a broadsword.

      Thank you. It means so much to hear from all of you.

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  • Uzzie101

    This is your life, it's about time you started to live it. Go someplace where people think like you, have similar intrests. Travel, live a little! You'll only regret it if you chose to stay where you currently are forever.

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  • tori

    I feel your pain so much. My situation was a bit different but I can relate so much. I am 54 years old female. I have a husband and 2 adult children. My life would have been so different if I did not listen to my parents. My mother was a very depressed person when I was very little. Even tho I didn't know it at the time. My father was emotionaly involved with me until about 8 years old. I don't know what happened to change that. Then my mother had cancer and other life threatening issues when I was an early teen. I must say, I raised myself. I wanted to move out of California so bad and become a vet, so I could help animals. I got so talked out of my dreams for myself. I got the job mom wanted. I stayed there for 18 years until I had a real breakdown. My parents are dead now. Going on 10 years. I am not living my life. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, but, I wish I would have listened to my soul. I'm not happy with my life. Listen to your soul.

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  • matthias353

    I don´t really know how I would handle the situation but I was thinking that you sound like having a lot of potencial. Maybe you would like to travel. Live a little, you don´t need to abandon your folks to do that. I would recommend some exploration of the world... well, just an advise. Hope you all the best!

    May your blade be sharp ;D

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  • hotchickie81

    wow, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. That must be awful. I know partially what you went through in high school, since I was also a nerd. I've had some trouble relating to people in the workforce too, since I am "different." At my last job, people treated me like complete shit. Thankfully the people at my current job are really nice to me. I like it here.

    I hope things get better for you. The good thing about this site is a lot of us can relate to one another, and we can chat back an forth, so it seems like a nice little community.

    Again, good luck. And remember, people on here do care about you! :)

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