Too clingy towards my mom?

I'm an 18 year old girl, officially diagnosed with high-functioning autism/Asperger's. I've had a ton of problems with friendships, so my mom has been my BFF for the majority of my life. She is the nicest person I've ever met.

Here's the problem: I get very jealous of anyone (or anyTHING) that diverts her attention away from me. One of the reasons (among others) that I resent my little niece and nephew is that they always cry for her and she spends a lot of time with them. I really hate shows like CSI: Miami and Without A Trace, because they distract my mom when she is at home and I can't talk to her when she's watching them. I also get really upset whenever she sends cards, money, candy etc. to our other family members, because it makes me feel less special even though she buys me things as well.

I am not like this with any of my other family members; it's only my mom. So here is the question: am I being too immature about this, or do I get some leeway on account of being an otherwise friendless autistic person?

Voting Results
47% Normal
Based on 122 votes (57 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • KacyWatson

    You can't never be too clingy with your mummy. Autism or not..
    Go and give mummy a great big hug ;) yes!

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  • TotalAspie

    It's always nice to hear RL recollections of other aspies. :-) I'm pretty sure my mom has it, only it seems like your situation reversed, and sometimes she acts like I'm the only RL friend she has outside of the place she works.

    All this time, I just figured my closeness to family was merely a southern thing (that's the southeast USA to any non-Americans!), but maybe it is to some extent. It took me awhile (namely being driven crazy) before I moved away from my mom, but I did end up moving back when I got into an auto accident. (I couldn't work, plus she acted like she absolutely had to have me back!)

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  • GnR66627

    I'm a 23 year old who lives away from my parents, and I STILL call my mom almost everyday just to chat. Sometimes I even get homesick. I was also very close with my mom growing up but in order to get past it, you have to force yourself to be more independent. It's unsettling at first but you'll feel a lot better once you gain that independence.

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  • szalonybober

    You can find friends online, I have asperger syndrome, but thanks to the Internet I date girls (models as well). and friend with people.

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  • theWARwhore

    Well sounds normal but let your mom and you have a better/wider range of a social life make some new friends and don't be afraid to trust them what's the worst that could happen? ;)

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  • KurosuYuuki

    Hey, I think you should try to make some friends.
    Don't let yourself be locked up just because of one person. Maybe your friend wasn't as good as you thought. I know it is difficult to make friends, but try simple relationships to begin with.
    First of all, why don't you try to have a better relationship with your family members, and not only your mom?
    Just one thing: try not to be so jealous towards the friends you make, ok? I know it may not be easy, but supress it a little because people can be cruel sometimes.

    I hope you get some friends!

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  • Hey, it's normal.

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  • erocablok

    Listen if you got a boyfriend that went down on you and ate that box like no other you wouldnt be thinking about mom anymore.You would be like yo mom wheres the paper towels!

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  • lawlawl

    I don't know what to say, Being as how I can not comprehend your situation in any way.

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  • Spritzy

    Well knowing that it's weird, you need to realize that her world does not have to revolve around yours.

    Autism isn't a good reason, especially if you're questioning it too.

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  • EyeOfTheStorm

    Wow i'm not the only one. I think I have this problem also to some degree.

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  • lwinnchick

    you probably just feel really really safe around your mom. if you have Asbergers, its hard to find someone you can trust so much. but try and let her live her own life and you live yours.

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  • I used to have a friend who had ADHD and she seemed to get jealous towards me a lot. She never wanted anyone else talking to me and she did seem to be jealous of certain things like when I got a new cell phone, and a new computer. It really bothered me and I had to cut her lose, because I could not be bothered with someone who even told me they were jealous of me because of the way I looked or things I had.

    What I'm getting at is you are 18 years old and it is time for you to spread your wings and grow up. Even with your condition, your mom deserves a social life, and so do you. Of course you can still have a strong relationship with your mom but I think you should at least put the effort of trying to find relationships elsewhere as well.

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    • This is very good advice I think. I might add that some of the relationship difficulties you've had are ones most people experience.

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  • buriedalive

    To be honest, your problem is one that quite a few people have, not just people with Aspergers syndrome (though it's probably exacerbated by the condition). It's normal to turn to a parent or someone similar if you feel rejected by your peers, but the degree of dependancy you have on your mum isn't healthy for either of you. Would you consider seeing a psychiatrist about any of this? It can really help to talk issues like this out with someone. Also, to help break away a little from your mother you have to start making new friends.
    I don't see any reason why you couldn't make friends because of having Asperger's syndrome, I know someone with it and he's got plenty of mates. It'll probably be a lot harder for you to get started than it would be for most people, but if you wanted to you could maybe start by going to groups for people with Autism Spectrum Disorders since people there will understand any issues you have better than others. After you feel a bit more comfortable with yourself, you can go out and make more friends. Hope it works out for you :)

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    • Nightshade11

      Thanks for your advice. :) I actually saw a counselor a couple years ago for unrelated issues, and she too said that my dependency towards my mom wasn't healthy. I had a best friend (who wasn't related to me) a few years ago, but to make a long story short, we got into an argument and she broke off our friendship. It was really emotionally painful for me, and I've had a hard time trusting people ever since. That's probably the biggest reason I haven't tried making any new friends.

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      • littlewing825

        yea this is totally understandable, but you know you can't let one person ruin your life, maybe you should slowly introduce yourself back into making friends and such. Just work on it little by little, this doesn't happen over night, slowly work at it. Buriedalive has a good idea, go see people like you, if there is a group. Or how bout join a club because people become friends when they are working together, like in a drama club, i remember being really tight with everybody, i have some anti-social tendencies. But clubs really help you make friends.

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