Too ashamed of my life to bring my friends closer.

13 Comments

I'm very lucky to say that I have 3 really great best friends that are like brothers to me. We're all musicians who play in a band and have great times hanging out and getting high and what not. I know their families very well and they're always more than okay with me staying at their homes. But when ever they want to come over to my place to hang out or to just come inside and say hi to my parents I always come up with excuses to prevent that. I hate having to do that and I wish my life was normal and decent enough to allow them in my life as much as they have allowed me in their's, if that makes sense.

My parents completely despise each other and treat each other like complete garbage but still live in the same apartment splitting the rent. My dad is unemployed and lives on social security benefits. He does nothing with his life and occupies the living room when he's not out gambling. He also leaves pee bottles sitting around because he's too lazy to get up and use the restroom. My mom always looks for things to be mad about, whether it's how "unlucky" she is to have ever met my dad or if anyone took any of HER food from the fridge, which doesn't even have much to begin with.

I just don't want my friends to see that or know anything about that.. It's way too embarrassing. They have loving families who are well-off and kind people and I have nothing like that to show them. I'm afraid if they know the true story they won't look at me the same and treat me differently. How should I handle this?

Be open about it 21
Keep blocking them off from my home life 7
Distance myself from them 1
other (comment) 2
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Comments ( 13 )
  • gashlover
    9 years ago

    Dude don't lie to your friends! Especially if they are cool. Just tell them exactly what you told us here.

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  • TrustMeImLying
    9 years ago

    I once did a talk-about-your-family speech for a class in college. About 90% of the students talked about their crazy/embarrassing/annoying family. So you needn't be ashamed about your parents, embarrassing families are quite common. mine are quite similar to yours

    when people like a person, they want to branch out their knowledge of them. so your mates are curious about your place and parents, blocking them off from your home life might only fuel their curiosity.

    how about you give them a short visit to your place? a few minutes at most? example: you all plan to go out for a movie, tell your friends to drop by and pick you up. meanwhile you have the place tidied up, and request your parents that you'd prefer not to be embarrassed in front of your friends, so kindly act sane (but this may not even be needed. even the most messed up of parents get their act straight in front of others). when they arrive, invite them in, greetings are exchanged etc etc, and you're out within minutes cause you're getting late for the movie

    then in the future, if they request to chill at your place, you can simply say "meh. there's not much to do at my place" which is true for most people

    // but if given only your options, I would pick "Be open about it"

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    • EccentricWeird
      9 years ago

      That was very heartfelt and caring. I was completely blown away by the sheer heaviness of the boredom I felt reading it, and the original post.

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      • TrustMeImLying
        9 years ago

        *steps on you and poses triumphantly with his pen*

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        • EccentricWeird
          9 years ago

          I'll cook your sodium so much that you'll be molten!

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    You're parents sound hilarious.
    I know somebody who does the piss bottle thing too. It's disgusting but he is quite an entertaining character.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      I read about some guy who died while playing world of warcraft for three days straight. I guess he just peed in bottles the whole time and had a make shift toilet chair where he would shit in a bucket and not have to get up or anything. Drank energy drinks the whole time as well. WHY??!?

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      • [Old Memory]
        9 years ago

        What a lazy dumbass.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    be open about it...but i think that even "perfect" families have problems , sometimes much worse than yours

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  • Ohmyrandomness
    9 years ago

    If they are really your friends, they'll be supportive and lend an ear for you. It feels good to open up.

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  • kelili
    9 years ago

    I was ashamed of my family too because I thought that my mum got angry too easily and my dad was a child. Growing up I came to understand that all families had issues and that friends understand.

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  • Haddaway
    9 years ago

    make music with your bros about your misery.. it worked for me

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    Why don't you move out?

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