To guys - should i ask him about his new relationship?

7 Comments

Okay, I REALLY REALLY need your help! There's this guy whom I liked for more than two years now. We used to be good friends. I told him how I felt like a year ago or something but he said he doesn't feel the same. But we remained friends. I tried to leave many times, but he used to ask about me and he told me am one of his closest friend and that he doesn't wanna lose me.
Gradually, however, we started to drift apart. He stopped telling me everything like he used to, and he also got into a serious relationship. He didn't tell me anything about it. I only knew very recently from FB. Now he has broken up. And I am not sure what should I do. I still have feelings for him, am sure he knows. I tried to talk to him casually, but am so dying to comfort him. Hard to believe, but I don't wanna see him in pain. I wish I could ask him about it, but he never told me anything in the first place. So what should I do? I am worried if I talked to him he will think I have no pride, self-respect, or think of me as his mom or something. Am asking guys, because I wanna know how it would feel from a guy's perspective.

Yes 15
No 14
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Comments ( 7 )
  • DangerousPotatoGuy
    10 years ago

    no don't do it I have a girl doing almost the same thing and it flips me out, I know it's hard but it's best if you can move on rather than waiting for someone to hurt you again. You DESERVE better :)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thank you :) Guess you're right :/ like I was just telling Paradiddle here I didn't ask him directly but kinda tried to let him talk about it but he didn't. What hurts me the most is that he didn't tell me in the first place. We were supposed to be friends. I don't understand why. It kinda sucks when u know just from another source. And I have no idea what would he make of this last conversation, I should have been angry but I was worried about him :( But you're right, am not gonna force my company on someone so there is nothing I can do now ;(

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  • GuessWho
    10 years ago

    Don't pry.

    But here's my thoughts:
    Just contact him every now and then (not too often) and make casual conversation. Make sure that he notices you.
    Keep your distance, but bug him often enough that he doesn't forget about you.
    He should know that you're there, but also realize that you're not as close as you used to be.
    If you're lucky, he may just realize what he's lost and you get him in the end.
    (This advise is backed by no guarantee - it won't work for everyone.
    Do what you think is best - there's no substitute for common sense.)

    Anyway, Good Luck.

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  • handsignals
    10 years ago

    You need to ask yourself a question. Is this guy interested in you. You know the answer you just have to be honest with your self.

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  • Paradiddle
    10 years ago

    Isn't this guy lucky to have someone who still cares about him after a breakup? A little envy going on from the person typing this. Still, while I think its great that you are worried about him, I personally wouldn't ask about the relationship, especially since you already know that its over. I don't see any benefit in doing so since it'll just make him more troubled about something that doesn't exist anymore unless he opens up one day and tells you himself, then it'd be different.

    Maybe now is your chance to get closer to him as a friend at least? Perhaps you can regain that closeness you two once had and then press forward from there.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I don't know :/ It kinda hurts me too that he didn't tell me about it in the first place. Maybe he didn't want to tell me. It hurts cause while I care about his pain he didn't care that it might hurt me if I knew from someone else :(
      I kinda asked him too but subtly. I texted him a couple of days ago saying he can talk to me if someone is needed and when we talked, I asked him a couple of times if everything is okay. But he didn't bring it up at all. I have no idea what should I do :/

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  • gummy_jr
    10 years ago

    No

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