To fall in love with people online but not want to meet them

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26 Comments

I fall in love so easily on the Internet and not in real life. Because online you get to know personalities first then physical appearance (maybe) whereas it being the opposite in real life, people get attracted by looks first personality second. I don't like that, I'm not attracted to men by their looks, but they are attracted to me for that alone it seems, because then we are not hardly compatible.I'm 22 and never had a bf. I have loved so many men online, but I do not feel like meeting them. Maybe, if we just happened to be in the same place, and not have to make it a big deal, I would. But actually planning to meet them kind of ruins it for me. I'm so worried they will be completely different in real life than the image of them I have created in my head. I just fantasize and dream about them instead. IIN?

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48% Normal
Based on 64 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 26 )
  • Indemand
    10 years ago

    No way! If you truly love them, you'd want to be with them in every way.

    Wanting to be constantly physically close to someone no matter what is a big part of being in love. I think you need to re-evaluate your feelings.

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  • Paradiddle
    10 years ago

    Like I said on another story, yes it is entirely possible to love someone online. Anyone who says otherwise acts like people end up liking a screen name but pretend that video chatting doesn't exist. The only reason anyone is so insistent on saying that it is impossible is because they are either set in the negative idea that people online are fake, don't like the distance or that its never happened to them. I've had it happen twice and the feelings were real, no one can tell me what I didn't feel and I'm glad I met them.

    I don't agree about not meeting them however. With whom I liked, of course I wanted to meet them, the fact that they were across the globe didn't stop me from developing feelings and I didn't care about that, I just wanted to be with them. What if someone's interest was a real keeper and they said they wanted to meet but they got slapped with "Well uh, you don't have to meet me, can we keep this online?" I would question everything and be very upset. I can see where you're worried since its easier to accept someone if you've met them in person first and online isn't that. You may also end up liking someone but just don't want an online relationship which is fine. If you're saying though that you have been in relationships online and you still don't want to meet then I feel that is a bit wrong.

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    • Indemand
      10 years ago

      I second everything you've said.

      Not saying it works out or is the best way of doing things, but of course it's possible to fall in love online. I know, because I've been there too.

      Maybe people just don't understand it until they've actually been there themselves.

      Falling in love means wanting to be in their arms, wanting to be as close as possible, like there's an invisible string holding you together. Even if you're thousands of miles away, if you really do love each other, you both know you'll find a way to be together.

      I don't think the person here feels that way. I don't think they're in love. But that doesn't mean it's not possible to be, and I don't understand all the denial and negativity towards this.

      Online love, yes, 'real', 'deep' love, believe it or not, is possible.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I have to be honest. No.

    I'm sure I'll get voted off the map for saying this, but online personalities are seldom, almost never, what they are in real life.

    Love is a genuine emotion that can't be described...there's no way to explain or define it, but once you really experience it, you'll know that what you thought you had with online personalities...isn't it.

    ...maybe that's why you don't want to meet the online object of your affection. You probably know that.

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  • Aliceee93
    10 years ago

    Can you really 'fall in love' online? Or just really like someone.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Depends on your definition of love, I guess...

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      • RomeoDeMontague
        10 years ago

        No, it means you are delusional. If you love them but do not want to meet them you are detached. You have a image of yourself and a image of them. You are living in a fantasy which mainly exists in your own head. The reason you do not want to meet them is that your image will be shattered. Your fantasy can not exist outside of your imagination and so you do not really love them. You simply are in love with the idea of them. A nice dose of reality should fix that. Though if your like me you are probably going to do everything in your power to avoid it. Just realize what this really is. Its not love. I don't see where this type of thing would be a huge danger but don't fool yourself into believing its real.

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    • Indemand
      10 years ago

      You can! Absolutely! Feeling love for someone online is entirely possible and often the connection formed is much stronger right from the beginning as well.

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      • Aliceee93
        10 years ago

        .. But but but what if there not who they say they are.

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        • Indemand
          10 years ago

          Then it's obviously not going to end well.. But that doesn't dispute the fact that you can still be in love with someone. Remember, 'love' is just a feeling.

          Some people can and have experienced falling in love with book characters for goodness sake.

          I know this will never compare with being with someone in real life, because you can't do all the same things normal couples would be able to.

          But you can fall in love with people you've never met before. Absolutely you can. I myself, have had offline relationships before, and have been in online relationships. The love I felt for both, online and offline did not differ. How I was able to express that love was the only thing that was different.

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          • Aliceee93
            10 years ago

            Okay :) I think it's different for everyone :)

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            • Indemand
              10 years ago

              Probably right there..
              I guess love is something only the beholder will ever understand and be able to justify.

              It just really annoys me when people say it's not possible. Especially with everything I've been through with my current partner, who I originally met online. xD

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    • Short4Words
      10 years ago

      That's an interesting question. Maybe I don't know anything about love, but I always though love meant being in love with pretty much every part of the person, even when that includes looks, social quirks, etc. Things you can't see or pick up as easy through text, but I guess you always have Skype.

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      • Aliceee93
        10 years ago

        I didn't even think it was possible to like someone like that online. I've never been in love, but I think being in love is a very special thing and it is about loving everything about a person.

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        • Short4Words
          10 years ago

          That's what I was saying, yea. And OP is also right depends on our definition of love, neither of us know what that even is, but I'm not sure if anyone truly knows.

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      • Anime7
        10 years ago

        I agree with you on this wholeheartedly.

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    • kingofcarrotflowers
      10 years ago

      I think you can fall in love with the idea of someone, I've not had it myself but I understand it, ad you have never met the person sometimes someone can seem almost perfect, even though no one is

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    • GreyWulfen
      10 years ago

      You can have at least a crush on someone imo.

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    • Anime7
      10 years ago

      No you can't. In my humble opinion, and granted I'm as much a love expert as Christoph from Frozen, I believe that you can't fall that deeply in love with someone online. I believe that you can really like them for their personality and have a crush on them, but love no. Love to me would be having the courage to meet the person in real life and accepting them for how they look and their imperfections. If you idolized them to be a certain way, well that sort of sucks for you. If you truly loved them you'd accept them for their imperfections and hug them anyways in real life as opposed to giving them a virtual hug.

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      • Aliceee93
        10 years ago

        I don't think you can fall in love online. I didn't even think you could like someone until it happened to me.

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        • Anime7
          10 years ago

          I pretty much just stated that I agreed with you on the first part of your sentence the response I put.

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  • ihateosamaobamasoetoro
    10 years ago

    You're about as delusional as anyone who believes that obama is a great president.

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  • Anime7
    10 years ago

    The problem with online flames meeting in real life is that women fear the other person being a serial killer, men fear that she'll be fat.

    I think that you don't really love these people, you just like their personalities, which is completely understandable. From the sound of your repetitive situation it just sounds like you're afraid of being disappointed, like you'd much prefer the fantasy of their character online then the actual person behind the screen. Honestly, that's understandable and completely normal, I mean fantasies are better than reality aren't they?

    But I still don't think you should be saying that you love these people, that's like if I were to say that I love a fictional character from one of the anime that I watch. I don't love them, I just like the character on the tv screen. The thing about fantasies are that we create this sort of fake wonderland in our head, where we put these fictional characters and ourselves together and just sort play out this great scenario of what it would be like. But life doesn't work that way, like Gatsby idolized Daisy, so we idolize certain characters, but when the real thing shows up at your door, there's always room for disappointment since it's possible that they won't meet the expectations that we had for them.

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