To all the straight guys turned on by shemales and big, hard dicks

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This is a bit descriptive so if you get queasy with biological terms, you've been warned.

So just saw part of a lecture on ytube about something called sperm competition adaptation.

It goes like this: a chimp sees another chimp about to get it on with a female chimp. He sees the big, hard dick of this other chimp who is about to have sex. The sight of another male's big hard dick makes his one spring into action too. Why? Coz he is getting ready to get in there with the female chimp after this first chimp has finished and wants to fuck her so hard that he cums so much that the other chimp's sperm gets flushed out. Chimp and human dicks are shaped in this shovel shape apparently to shovel out the last man's/chimp's semen, and the dick goes flaccid after ejaculation so as not to shovel out their own.

So basically the hard-on the chimp gets when seeing another chimp's hard-on is due to a heightened sexual aggression in order to compete and make sure he gets the female chimp pregnant. So being attracted to big hard, dicks makes you even straighter? It means you are even more alpha and even more into fucking a woman, it seems.

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Based on 94 votes (62 yes)

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Comments ( 19 )

GiveMeAFuckingNameAlready!

9 years ago

The only thing I got out of this is chimps are fucking gay.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Maybe that's all you wanted to see.
  
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Ellenna

9 years ago

But we're not chimps and different species of chimps don't all have the same behavior. I find it interesting that most scientists (male) use examples from chimp species other than the peace loving sexually free bonobos.

Anyway, if this theory is correct, why would it make "straight" men get turned on by sucking a cock which has tits above it, or vice versa?

I reckon that often it's curiosity because trans people have been the exotic "flavour of the month" for a while now, so it's trendy. Alternatively, it's a cover for bisexuality: obviously the best way to enjoy some female and some male genitalia at the same time is with a "shemale", especially given the overwhelming popularity of anal sex in internet porn. If the object of desire appears female, in fact almost invariably stereotypically "feminine", then men can fool themselves they're not really lusting after a bloke, it's just a woman with a dick.

Occasionally Freud was right - eg polymorphous perversity

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VirgilManly

9 years ago

I recently spoke to a chimp and he basically summed it up by saying, "I like sloppy seconds.".

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disthing

9 years ago

Haha dick-shovelling a rival chimp's cum.

I feel like this is probably a troll post, but if not; It sounds like nothing but speculation to me. Scientist often do it, especially when interpreting animal behaviour.

Nobody can say with certainty that the reason a guy responds sexually to the sight of another guy's rock-hard cock is because he wants to sword-fight the other guy out of a woman's orifice, or flush his cum out with a sack-load of his own brand. Convenient an excuse though that may be, for the insecure alpha-wannabees.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Why does it sound like a troll post? You are very quick to dismiss what I've said without doing any of your own research.
  
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  - disthing
    
    9 years ago
    
    Just the " So being attracted to big hard, dicks makes you even straighter? It means you are even more alpha and even more into fucking a woman, it seems."
    
    ...Sounds like someone pretending to be an insecure not-quite-straight guy grasping at straws to explain away their throbbing erection at the sight of someone else's throbbing erection.
    
    And, in light of all the other 'I'm not gay, but...' posts on here, I thought it might be a joke :)
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Interesting that you interpreted the post that way. I just wanted to find out about what the term might be for a straight guy who liked big dicks and shemales...it seems it's as I thought, he's just a straight guy.
      
      Here is some more info on the cum shovelling:
      <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3128753.stm" rel="nofollow">http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3128753.stm</a>
      
      Also chimps and other primates seem to use their erection as a way of asserting dominance and aggression and so maybe other chimps can be frightened (and impressed) by a big, hard dick. They also use it for socialising apparently, I think they experience a sort of homoerotic admiration of a big dick, just like men do - straight or otherwise.
      
      And its the archer person here ; ) so def not an " insecure not-quite-straight guy [with a] throbbing erection..." But somehow I like being thought of as that, minus the insecure part.
      
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      - disthing
        
        9 years ago
        
        Thanks for the link - but as mentioned in the article:
        
        Mr Derek Machin, a urologist at University Hospital, Aintree, said the theory seemed "far fetched".
        
        "The research might very well be accurate, but I'm not convinced that just because the penis does something like this it was necessarily designed to have that effect."
        
        Dr Colm O'Mahony, chairman of the UK Association for Genito-Urinary Medicine, said the theory seemed flawed.
        
        "If the man continues to thrust after ejaculation he would simply be scooping out his own semen."
        
        I think it sounds like a theory with little basis in evidence. I mean, it's like saying our hands evolved to be able to tie shoe-laces, because as we can see in tests, our hands are particularly good at tying shoe-laces.
        
        I find it hard to believe that immediately fucking the same woman after another male dipped his wick would be such a frequent experience back in pre-homosapien times that we'd evolve a sperm scooper as a result. You very rarely see males going for 'sloppy seconds' in contemporary ape species.
        
        Personally I wouldn't take these ideas too seriously, archer lady.
        
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        disthing
        
        9 years ago
        
        As for a straight man's arousal at the sight of another erect penis - could be to do with empathetic arousal.
        
        When you see someone you empathise with cry, you may cry yourself. When you see someone you empathise with become sexually aroused, you may become sexually aroused yourself.
        
        And, as with laughter or yawning, which can be socially contagious, perhaps sexual arousal can be too, regardless of gender.
        
        Some wild ideas... But I wouldn't pin the tail on any one in particular, because we just don't know for certain.
        
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- charli.m
  
  9 years ago
  
  I have heard the penis shape theory thing before. I haven't heard the getting hard over cock makes you "straighter" bit.
  
  In conclusion, your first sentence was awesome.
  
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  - disthing
    
    9 years ago
    
    Hm. The penis has presumably evolved into a shape that enables it to be an effective spunk rocket-launcher, unleashing a torrent of future-babies towards the womb-base.
    
    The shovel-shaped bellend could be to do with maximising friction to increase the speed of ejaculation, or better widening the meat-tunnel so the little spermlets can shoot further, or the evolutionary left-overs of a dog-dick-like knot which kept the penis locked inside the vagina until orgasm (bit rapey). I just think it's silly to say anything for certain.
    
    Ha have you not heard the phrase dick-shovelling a rival chimp's cum before? We say it all the time in rainy old England:
    "Oi, mate, you going to buy the next round or are you too busy dick-shovelling a rival chimp's cum?"
    or
    "But muuuum, I don't want to tidy my room!"
    "Disthing, stop sitting on your arse and dick-shovelling a rival chimp's cum - help out around the house or I won't give you any pocket money, you failed-abortion!"
    
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    - charli.m
      
      9 years ago
      
      ...I want to keep you in a cage so I can poke you with a stick to make you make funnies when I'm bored.
      
      That's not creepy, is it?
      
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      - disthing
        
        9 years ago
        
        No - that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all day :*)
        
        Just give me sufficient room in the cage to dick-shovel a rival chimp's cum.
        
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        charli.m
        
        9 years ago
        
        Awesome. I'm sending your shipping crate now. Ahoukd be there in a week. See you soon :D
        
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    9 years ago
    
    Yeh the straighter and more alpha idea was my own. The rest was from the lecture.
    
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Gspyder

9 years ago

It would also explain cuckhold fetishes

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  That's what I was thinking.
  
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To all the straight guys turned on by shemales and big, hard dicks