Time limit for serious committment committment?

14 Comments

Ultimatums aside, how long as a general guideline should a person wait for their partner to make a serious commitment before moving on? By serious, that means monogamous, and willing to openly and publicly acknowledge your partner as your romantic exclusive partner, not flirting or acting single, not corresponding with other possible romantic partners and you know that's why, which includes sexting, social media, gaming chatrooms, dating websites, cyber, naked pictures, etc., and no confiding in others like coworkers, etc. about how your partner doesn't understand you, etcetera, there for committing emotional infidelity.

Less than 6 months 17
6 months to a year 9
Between a year and two years 4
More than two years 3
Other, please comment 8
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 14 )
  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    I doubt there's a single right answer for everyone.
    Certainly if you are living together, but otherwise, it's probably a decision each couple has to make for themselves.
    It sounds as though you are with another one of those jerks who doesn't know a good thing when he has it, so you should probably say bye bye and move on.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
  • i_will_not_eat_hats_again
    10 years ago

    You seemed to ask for an absolute so I'll say 79 days 4 hours 16 seconds 451 milliseconds and 108 microseconds. But I guess it might be slightly different if people are slightly different. There isn't an answer. You can poll other answers all you want but can you really apply this to a real relationship you have?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • AbnormallyAwesome
    10 years ago

    I guess that depends on your partner. She/He should know exactly how commited you are right now and should have the same freedom. Everything else would be unfair.

    Personally I think you should focus on just one person once you start any form of romantic relationship. When you start checking out other possibilities you already desided that you're not fully satisfied with your current lover. So then keeping this door open just makes it more painful for everyone.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • Fall_leaves
    10 years ago

    It's different for everyone. I think if it goes past three to five years of your partner never commiting then it's safe to say they never will.

    Social media commitment in my opinion is kind of lame anyways. I wouldn't be offended if my boo thang didn't post constantly about us being together. Most girls don't have a problem with that, the overly flashy gestures of commitment aren't neccesscary.

    However I would have a problem with my partner sexting, visiting dating sites, and sending/receiving naked pictures. I would drop his ass then and there. I wouldn't have a problem if he told me right off the bat though, if that's something he wants to do, then I would want to know.

    The discussing personal info about your relationship thing would definitely bother me. If you can't tell your partner what you're feeling, then how do you expect to fix anything?

    Unfortunately sometimes the commitment you make to someone isn't reciprocated, and unless you make it clear you want to make a commitment your partner may not know.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    There is no time limit. Either you are serious about the person or you aren't. And, hopefully, however you feel is how they feel too.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      So after a month do you have to declare exclusivity, that either you are serious or you aren't? Or after 2 years is it still reasonable to wait for someone who "isn't sure you're the one but you might be but in the meantime let's not call ourselves a couple"?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        It depends on what you want out of the relationship... Do you want exclusivity? If so, then two years is an exceptionally long time to wait around for someone who isn't sure about you.

        Don't bother reserving a place in your heart for someone who doesn't make an effort to stay in it. <3

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        2
        2
  • Qwertyzxc
    10 years ago

    I think it would also depend on the ages of the people involved...

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I took all that into consideration. I have been in relationships that are all kinds of time lengths and in some of them I waited, I feel, too long and wasted my time. I don't want to waste too much time anymore, but it seems all the people I meet nowadays either don't want to commit, are shifty liars or don't know what they want.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Hayze
    10 years ago

    I chose other because I think this is extremely subjective. I personally like to figure out how I feel within the first six months and get at least some kind of consensus and acknowledgement within that first year, ideally sooner than six months but I am patient.

    I get frustrated if do not feel the level of commitment is mutual and any vast difference in timing will serve to exacerbate this feeling. This will cause me to steadily lose interest.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • dickwashington
    10 years ago

    everyones different! every relationship is diffrent!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Riddler
    10 years ago

    Well most people do not make it past a a few months to over a year. If you make it up to 4 years I think its serious. Anything beyond that you really should not have any hopes. Least what I experienced. Why I don't see any real point in dating. Everyone who dates seems to be looking for a fling now a days......

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • (s)aint
    10 years ago

    Right from the fucking start of a relationship!?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Anonymous Post Author
    10 years ago

    Thank you all for your thoughtful advice.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0