Things to use as dildos?

I am 18 years old but I live with my parents and will be doing so for a while and I have got an inability to buy things like dildos (I am recovering from mental illness and my parents don't let me out on my own or without them) I don't have friends so I can't ask them. Does anyone know anything I could use for maximum pleasure but not having to buy or order anything obvious? Please help me with this!

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 111 votes (84 yes)
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Comments ( 27 )
  • anti-hero

    Sneak a guy in, horny men are a dime a dozen.

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  • klebo

    Brush handle,cucumber, wand massager,ice cream scooper handle

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    • Eat.My.Fuck

      Nah she can't use a cucumber. She'd have to go out and buy condoms, which she's made it clear she can't do that without her parents knowing. So that's out.

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  • Insanitybxtch

    I have an electric nail buffer. They may not be the most powerful but they do help you achieve some sort of pleasure.
    You could get one of those neutrogena face massage'rs as well.
    Or even buy a Hitachi magic wand, although this is mostly used for pleasure some just use it as a massaging tool. I would advise you to NOT use any of your parents sex toys (if they have any) because there is a risk that one (or both) of your parent's have STD's and have used the toys.

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  • S.khan

    Can we do phonesex?

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  • Rihyae

    Can confirm. A giant sharpie.

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  • dytrog

    A cucumber in your pussy a hotdog in your ass and a washing machine on spin.
    A bicycle will do it if you lean forward and learn how to ride it to get the right effect. You could stick half a cucumber in it before your ride.

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  • wigz

    Buy things online. Or WalMart sells 'massagers'.

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    • Eat.My.Fuck

      Now that's just some poorly thought out advice right there. If you lived with your parents and they had you on lockdown would you really want sex toys showing up at the front door?

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      • wigz

        It ships in plain wrappers. That's one of their selling points.

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        • deepdankstickygoo

          It takes juan to know juan.

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

    run the laundry machine spin cycle outta balance and lay on top

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    • anti-hero

      You blew the accent on that one bud.

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      • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

        i were visitin some yankees recently

        the talk musta rubbed off

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        • anti-hero

          Do you know where you blew it?

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          • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

            when i were younger and decided not to go to mit?

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            • anti-hero

              Essentially.

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  • thegypsysailor

    Try the back of an electric tooth brush, not the bristles.

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  • deerhunter123

    try using a hair brush, markers, electric toothbrush, bananas, carrots, cucumbers, try find your moms dildo/vib when she is not home and have a great orgasm from that

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  • green_boogers

    In the mood for a stretch? Unroll a condom onto a banana. Note: do not use a raw banana. The outside of the peel is soaked with pesticides.

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  • Ellenna

    Hairbrush handle

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    • gentleboy

      looks like u had tried it baby

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      • Ellenna

        Yep

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        • gentleboy

          now u may try my real dildo

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          • Ellenna

            Thanks, but no thanks

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            • gentleboy

              why not, i'll be gentle...?

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  • Poes

    take a condom, fill it with water and place it in the deep freeze, within a few hours you will have a nice dick shaped icicle to fuck your little tight pussy with. the added advantage of this is that although you will be "hot to trot" your pussy will be nice and cold inside! As you fuck your Ice dick it will also start to become soft and warm just like a real dick!

    the alternative to that is to rub some peanut butter over your pussy and get your dog to lick it clean!

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