There's something that i really need to say.

My dear fellow users, this is something that I've been wanting so much to tell you. It is something that I need to get off my chest.

You now me as being a Cisgender (biological) female when really I am transgendered (female to male). Ever since I was a small child, I longed to be a male. I never felt right in my own body. Something always felt off. I tried so hard to embrace myself, but I never could. I couldn't figure out why I felt so strange. I was always extreme depressed because of this.

There was a period of time, many many years ago, when I was still young and had come out to my mother, who later told me that I was transgendered. She had a hard time accepting this fact. She even did "research", which I later found out to be incorrect and I now think that she told me these terrible and frightening things to prevent me from undergoing gender reassignment surgery when I became of age. I wasn't allowed to do my own research. I think that it would have greatly helped if I had been allowed to.

Because of the things she told me and the stress that being transgendered came with, I went into a long period of denial. I was in that when I became a member on this site. I didn't lie to you, because in a way, I didn't know. I had denied the truth of my identity so much that I forgot who I was and as such, I believed that I was a cis female. I wanted desperately to be female. I kept telling myself that I was a female, that I had to accept it because, there was nothing that I could ever do about it. Of course this didn't work, it only served to make me more depressed.

The period of denial ended about a month ago. I have never in my life time been as happy as I am now. I am at peace with myself. If I hadn't been in denial, all those years back when I first signed up, I would have been open about being transgendered. The reason why I am saying this is because, I felt bad that you didn't know the truth of the situation and because I have been thinking about leaving the site.

Please, don't tell me that I am confused, wanting special treatment, etc. I want none of those things, nor am I forcing you to accept me for who I am. You have the right to your opinions.

Yours Truly,

Avant-Garde