Ask Your Question today
I want everything to just stop
I wish I never existed so no one could miss me
It doesnt matter what anyone says
I have so much anger and sadness from repressing my emotions that I'm only happy when I'm buying shit or getting high
life is nothing but a cesspool of bullshit and heartache it'll never change
Its called depression get a check up at your doctor and tell them exactly how you feel. Always take your meds. Let your emotions out tell people exactly how you feel how they make you feel. Keeping it bottled up is only going to destroy you. Do things that really make you happy and that is safe nomatter how other people feel about it
What drugs are you using to get high? Maybe that is causing some issues.
Also, if your therapist isn't helping maybe try for another one if you can or tell them you aren't happy with it so far.
Sorry you are feeling distress.
Honestly, when I was in counseling/therapy, I didn't receive the full benefits either because I just can't open up to people completely, even counselors/therapists. I do have one that I click with much better and consider a friend, though. It might be worth switching therapists if you don't feel like your current one is helping you.
I've struggled with very similar feelings to yours as well, minus the getting high part. I have bought myself things to try to cheer myself up, though. I've also felt that life is a joke and full of nothing but bullshit and heartache as well, and like I wished I had never existed in the first place. I still struggle with this, particularly during hard times in my life. I wish I could offer some quality advice, but all I can say from experience is to consult a doctor, try switching therapists and finding one you click with better, maybe just write out your feelings kind of like you've done here if that is easier, and be careful when it comes to psychiatric medications. I know they can do a lot of good, but pay close attention to how you're changing on them. I was unfortunately put on antidepressants and anti anxiety medication as a teenager, which only made me much worse to the point of intense suicidal thoughts. If you decide to try a medication, just beware that they work differently with different people and tell your doctor if anything seems worse or not right.
That's not helpful at all. Wow. Of course no one is guaranteed happiness but fuck man. Do you get off putting down people who are feeling bad? No I'm not op.
If you're not the OP, why are you judging my comment to be unhelpful to him or her?
You're right. Maybe they are a sadist that wants to be put down even more.
Because it isn't helpful. The human brain is supposed to be adaptable and tend towards happiness. It needs dopamine to make the neural electrical connections work. Believe me, I know from personal experience.#
What I find is the people who can't make it work, are victims of lack of EXERCISE and healthy living in general. Human evolution (hominid upright walking phase) is two MILLION years old. Act like you need to continue that lifestyle at least a BIT and you'll be alright.
The brain adapts to taking drugs as a workaround for a shit, sick society.
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti
I hate it when people go around telling others that they are supposed to be happy, as if there's something gravely wrong with me if I'm not happy about doing boring, random bullshit that makes up the minutiae of life. I think it's not normal when people act like they're happy about everything. I can't stand it when someone acts like all a person needs to do is to is think positive, and then everything is going to be just wonderful. Depression is serious.
I do want recognize, and say that I think OP is very seriously depressed, suicidal, and in need of psychiatric care. I OP gets the psychiatric help that he, or she desperately needs.
I agree. For some reason, it pisses me off to no end when people tell me to smile or ask me why I'm not smiling over the most ridiculous things. Usually, I'm just focused on work or doing something completely normal and everyday that isn't exciting. It doesn't mean I'm miserable just because I'm not smiling, maybe I just feel neutral. What's the point of faking a smile over everything when it won't actually make a difference?
This is actually coming from someone who does smile a lot (genuinely, not fake), just not all the damn time. I've never met a single person who smiles constantly, even when they're focusing or doing something like writing a grocery list. I would think that was abnormal.
This is how I living my life.just get out of your expectations and thoughts .I am not a wise old man.but in the lights of my life,I like to say you are living for yourself.I don't know whether that's true or not.its merely an assumption.
Just change your perspection,the way you like to see the world.Your existence have a big meaning.I don't know what it could be.You should exist..not for you...may be for your family..
Get EXERCISE, not drugs. Only people stuck in bed, in pain (genuinely, as even a proportion of THEM will be exaggerating it, that's how the mind works unfortunately...) HAVE to take drugs.
I've got drugs I haven't taken, and fuck, I could write a book about what I've been through to want to be drugged-out all the time too (ex-addict, if that is possible... but still will use IF I want to - I just don't WANT to, I find productive stuff to do instead).
Perhaps start by using drugs that you were going to do anyway, as a reward for exercise that you weren't, with the exercise HAVING to come FIRST, no ifs or buts!
It'll enhance the high.
THEN slowly reduce the drug dose, and make-up with exercise and healthy living.
You never know, it might work.
You're worth it, and if you think you're NOT - then BECOME worth it. Then, IF you can make it through that barrier, you will be INDEPENDENT in your self-esteem, which is BADASS AS FUCK. It'll feel really good. Try it.
Maybe the problem is you getting high? How many silly people I see feeling depressed or anxious, yet they wont put the drugs down. Drugs causes such an imbalance in brain chemicals. Even if you stop drugging and drinking it could take 1 year or longer for your brain to retrain.