Theories about relationships (men - women)

34 Comments

When it comes to relationships, e.g. different theories and explanations of gender differences, mating, emotional and sexual life...which of the following approaches do you find to be the most accurate or reasonable?

feminism / gender studies 11
evolutionary psychology / biological explanations 30
social constructivism / social constructionism 14
psychoanalysis 6
behaviorism 12
popular psychology (magazines, self-help books...) 0
religious explanations 2
I do not have enough information about these theories 33
other (please comment) 5
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Comments ( 34 )
  • howaminotmyself
    11 years ago | pl

    Why not try having a relationship. Throw out the theory and embrace personal experience.

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    • Naamah
      11 years ago

      Throw out the theory and knowledge and embrace simple-mindedness! Smart people can have both wonderful relationships and interest in theories.

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      • howaminotmyself
        11 years ago

        Obviously they can. Did I suggest otherwise?

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        • Naamah
          11 years ago

          No, you didn´t - because you didn´t write anything about smart people who can have both.

          You addressed only simple-minded ones as you suggested throwing out theory. That is not what smart people do.

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          • howaminotmyself
            11 years ago

            Personal experience was not an option. I merely pointed out that it was.

            I get it, you think I'm simple minded. But you've not convinced me that you are smart, just a bit of an ass.

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            • Naamah
              11 years ago

              If I am smart or not is not what simple-minded people can decide anyway :)

              In addition, my intention wasn´t to convince you by my comments that I´m smart - just to point out that throwing out theories is simple-minded. Personal experience is important but it doesn´t diminish the importance of theories.

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            • prasatko
              11 years ago

              This is the OP / Poll Creator: "Personal experience was not an option" - In fact, I was thinking about including personal expierence as an option but then I decided not to include it because:
              1.I take it for granted that people´s personal experience influences their views on different theories and I was interested in which of the theories would they find most similar to their own "personal theories" based on their experience. In other words, I wanted to know how would people judge the theories (whether their judgement is influenced mainly by their experience or something else).
              2.People who are interested ONLY in their personal experience could choose the option "other" or "I do not have enough information about these theories" (nothing wrong with that, no need to throw out something which they are not informed about).

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Having a wonderful relationship is not mutually exclusive with having some knowledge about what is going on around you.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago | pl

    Lol. Feminism. If someone, even just one picks feminism, I am just going to be mind fucked.

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      11 years ago | pl

      Four people picked it.
      Your mind has been gang raped.

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      • Corleone
        11 years ago

        Doesn't matter, had sex

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        lmao i haz nt been gang rapid in muh bren, i still smat ma bren still wrk

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  • dom180
    11 years ago

    Relationships, like all inter-human interactions, are multi-dimensional and complex things that no one theory, or even two or more theories in tandem, can ever accurately explain. Different theories explain different aspects of interaction, and because of that theories are better looked at as not being "right" or "wrong" (or even as being less absolute terms like "accurate" or "reasonable") but as what they are, useful vehicles for observing something without being part of it.

    That goes for theories of anything, not just those applying to romantic relationships.

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  • bristexai
    11 years ago

    Yes. I actually can't smoke certain kinds when I am depressed because I think about things and get even more depressed.

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    • UhhhOK
      11 years ago

      Yeah when i smoke certian kinds of relationships i get fucked up too..
      Bahah

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      • bristexai
        11 years ago

        What the hell? I posted that on another thread. It must have been a glitch.

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        • [Old Memory]
          11 years ago

          oh I just love when this happens! ≧ω≦

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  • chatter289
    11 years ago

    I based my Psychology dissertation on whether men and women have been predisposed (evolutionary theory) to react differently to sexual/romantic relationship, i.e women predisposed to be more emotionally jealous whereas men predisposed to be more sexually jealous. Recruited 170 subject, half chinese/half english (a cross cultural study)and I'm sorry to say, the evolutionary theory was greatly refuted by the findings. As such, I am more inclined to add a plausable argument towards the social constructivism theory. However, this is a topic subject to many arguments. You have missed the Attachment theory to your list to which I rather have an incline to rather agree... to a certain extent. :)

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  • CaptainObvious
    11 years ago

    Sometimes people fall in love, and it is good.

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    • CaptainObvious
      11 years ago

      Well, most of the time it's good.

      ~ Cpt. Obvious

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  • VioletTrees
    11 years ago

    Evolutionary psychology is a good idea, but a lot of the ideas evolutionary psychologists come up with really aren't supported by anything but the very weakest of evidence, so you have to be careful.

    Feminism is good (at least, most feminism is), but it's not really for fixing your romantic relationships. Plus, I don't think how you deal with your relationships should be politically motivated. It depends a lot on the situation though.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I put "other". I believe all relationships and intimacy are built upon individual personalities. Things like Feminism are just bitchy women acting like they hate everything without a vagina. I also believe biology does play some part.... After all, biology pretty much gives us our own personalities.

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  • myownopinions
    11 years ago

    I usually use a mix of biology and social psychology.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    I don't think just one of those options can account for the wide range a variables involved with picking a mate...

    On one hand, there is a lot of validity to the biological explanation; who you are physically attracted to is determined by hormonal processes in ones body that pick up chemical signatures given off by the potential mate's immune system that alert the receiver as to the type of immune system had by said mate and whether or not this mate will help produce better offspring with more resilient immune systems. However, most of us know that while there is truth to this (our species has survived this long partially because of this), many of us also know that not everyone breeds with people who have good genes to offer to the next generation...

    Then you have your various psychological theories as well as social construct and gender theories which, in bits and peices, often do a GREAT job of explanation why a person would be attracted to a certain type of psychological makeup and in combination with the biological theory can make a very good explantion as to why some very unlikely couples have gotten together.

    I am not really sure what you mean by the religious explanation though. Like, which religion? I can understand the fatalistic approach if you are religious or spiritual but you will have to be more precise.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Personally, I am an atheist. So definitely I would not pick up this option. But I wanted to offer this category for those people who base their opinions on relationships on religious guidelines.
      By "religious explanations" I meant any explanations that base their views on relationships on some concepts of deity, god(s), supernatural powers, holy books etc, no matter what specific religious doctrine it would be used by. (example: monogamy is natural because Bible says so, polygamy is acceptable because there are certain references in Koran, this or that is right or wrong because my religious cult or leaders say so...all these would fall under the category "religious explanations".

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      • NeuroNeptunian
        11 years ago

        Well I guess that it is a valid option for someone who is religious. Certainly my beliefs which are not necessarily religiously born but are in compliance with some Judeo-Christian standards (I didn't want to marry a man that did drugs or had a record) but one needn't be religious to hold some of those standards for a mate although religion can influence it.

        But once again, too many variables to tack one explanation on to.

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  • MissyLeyneous
    11 years ago

    Why we gotta be so complicated about this?

    Just love and be loved! Duh! :D

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    • Naamah
      11 years ago

      Desire for knowledge and interest in theories is something which goes hand in hand with intelligence not with inability to love or a lack of love in one´s life. Of course, there are people who have feelings, can love and be loved without being able to think about love or relationships in a more complex way on the theoretical or abstract level - this condition is called debility.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      You know, psychologists study also visual perception and I do not think it is bad even though I like visual arts or beautiful images which I can see. They study also memory and cognitive function and it does not ruin my enjoyment from understanding and remembering things.
      Personally, I do not think that understanding what you enjoy will ruin your enjoyment.

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  • IrishPotato
    11 years ago

    Why would you analyze relationships continuesly, when you can enjoy it?
    Sometimes, theories and psychology ruins the joy in things.

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    • Naamah
      11 years ago

      Desire for knowledge, analyzing various phenomena and interest in theories is something which goes hand in hand with intelligence not with inability to enjoy. Of course, there are people who can only enjoy things without being able to think about them in a more complex way on the theoretical or abstract level - this condition is called debility.

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      • IrishPotato
        11 years ago

        It's just that, overanalyzing things doesn't result in anything good most of the time.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      You know, psychologists study also visual perception and I do not think it is bad even though I like visual arts or beautiful images which I can see. They study also memory and cognitive function and it does not ruin my enjoyment from understanding and remembering things.
      Personally, I do not think that understanding what you enjoy will ruin your enjoyment.

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