The zombie apocalypse has begun! you're in walmart*, what do you grab?

*Or any large discount department store equivalent.

Situation: It is 1400 on a Saturday afternoon, it is an average day in terms of customer numbers, you can see people wherever you look. You have an empty shopping cart/trolley and have just entered the store. Your car is in the car park outside.

Consider where most people will flock, where people won't go, your ability to carry goods and how long your loot will last you.

Above all - remember that time is of essence!

***Choose your TOP PRIORITY GOOD for the poll and feel free to list everything else you'd try and take with you.***

Semi-preserved food (e.g: canned, dried, powderised) 4
Water 4
Melee weapons (e.g: baseball bats, butcher knives) 7
Hiking gear (e.g: tarp, tent) 1
Portable tools (e.g: torches, solar cookers, walkie talkies) 2
Protective clothing (e.g: leather clothing, shark suits) 0
Survival books (e.g: botany guides, wilderness survival guides) 2
Common medicine (e.g: antihistamines, pain killers) 1
Alcohol (read: I want to die drunk and oblivious) 0
Firearms (note: likely a dangerous first stop) 8
Nothing. I will flee before the car park gets jammed. 3
Nothing. I will not resort to looting. 0
Nothing. I will end myself instead of living in a barbaric world. 3
Other (please clarify in the comments section) 2
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Comments ( 32 )
  • JD777

    My bug-out bag is already in my truck outside. I only grab a few select people, get the heck out of Walmart and back to my place where we have everything we'll need.

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  • NeuroNeptunian

    I'd grab a good, sturdy camping backpack and fill it with ammo.

    I'd grab a good rifle and handgun if at all possible (I have a couple of good ones at home).

    I would then grab a crow bar for hand to hand zombie clearing. Camping gear if possible. A good shovel with a sharp edge. Plenty of hair spray, axe and torch lighters. Maybe grab some fuel cans that I can use to toss fuel out and burn those assholes en masse with a good match or rag. Grab a shit ton of rags to stick in abandoned cars sometime down the road (haha get it?) to turn them into makeshift bombs.

    I would use none of this to get out of the Wal Mart. My escape plan would be to grab a cart, a flat head screwdriver, some rubber gloves and fill the cart with car batteries that I will pry open with the flat head and with a small pot from the kitchen section, scoop sulfuric acid out of the batteries and shower those fuckers with it. I've gotten that shit on my skin before so a little backsplash isn't a big deal for me. That'll clear 'em away from my car which is basically (no lie) a rolling tool/ammo box complete with an emergency kit and first aid kid. I'm also trained and certified to do first aid and combat first aid (blown off limbs, mass bleeding and shit like that) and have plenty of random things in my car that could and would come in handy.

    The crow bar would be my go-to weapon, to be honest. Due to the limited nature of the ammo, the guns would be more for severe situations where I am at an all out tactical disadvantage in which case, I'd open my sun-roof and be my own turret or even snipe those fuckers. It's all the same to me.

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  • A mirror. ^_^

    Nah. I would go for a weapon first and then food. I would go for food first but at that point you're just collecting supplies for the person who decided to go for the weapons first. :p

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    • Fair point. After all, the guy with the axe could point it at the food-looter's head and demand whatever he wants.

      What kind of weapon have you got in mind?

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      • Yeah, that's what I mean. :P

        Eh, I would probably go with something that is easily moved around or gives me a free hand, so a machete or just a knife. That way if a zombie is near me then I wouldn't have to move out of the way before I can hit back like I would need to with an axe. Same goes with another looter. If I get tackled then I wouldn't be able to swing an axe at them but I would be able to stab them due to how little space I need to give a good jab with a knife. :)

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  • Ebola69

    I would grab all the toys

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  • dinz

    I'll barricade myself inside a walmart and turn it into my utopic.

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    • The perimeter's too big for one person to barricade in a timely fashion, finding the resources to barricade is difficult and the place is already teeming with zombies and looters. It's not a great idea, brother.

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      • dinz

        How about we roll the fatties over to the entrances and block them. There is enough meat for the zombies to last them for a good period of time while I barricade myself in the canned goods aisle.

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  • LizardSkin

    You guys can be at walmart, I'll be at the Gun Shop down the road. Loading up a truck with ammunition and weapons.

    Weapons will always be the key to human dominance. against zombies or against eachother in a world ending apocolypse such as that.

    The first two things I want are ammunition and Shelter. Once that is secured I want Water and food. Honestly I'd just try and defend my own home first (besides making a trip to the gun shop to load up on fire power) which im sure a lot of people in this area would be thinking.

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  • iEatZombies_

    A leg of the dead from an egg-head named Ted.

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  • CountessDouche

    Duct tape, obviously.

    And yes, I'm being serious.

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  • thegypsysailor

    I'd round up all those rude, stupid employees (who have been so unhelpful over the years) and rope them together and use them as a shield to get to my car.

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  • Blue_Velvet

    Bug-out bag, gun, combat knife, matches, flashlight, lockpicks, canned food, bottled water, first aid kit etc.
    I would also loot houses when necessary.

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  • dirtybirdy

    Tampons and TP.

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  • kingofcarrotflowers

    Candy floss maker

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

    ammo booze socks terlet paper and raid the pharmacy for oxys

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  • chained_rage

    I think I would overdose on chocolate and get diabetes and then the zombies wouldn't wanna eat my pathetic diabetic brain and announce me as their king

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  • Fall_leaves

    I wouldn't survive lol, let's just go with the inevitable. Probs steal a few Payday bars though.

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    • chained_rage

      I'll grab you :D

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      • Fall_leaves

        to save me or use me as a human shield from the zombies lol?

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        • chained_rage

          To keep you as my own?

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    • shuggy-chan

      Somehow I just picture you standing in front of the frozen yogurt and ice cream section. At least until one of them comes and gets you

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      • Fall_leaves

        Remaining completely oblivious to the zombies in the next aisle munching on brains. What icecream does one choose upon their pending demise? I'm thinking rocky road or red velvet

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        • shuggy-chan

          If you get brain freeze, would the zombies want your brain?

          And i pick rocky road or green mint chocolate chip

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          • Fall_leaves

            Good question, hmmm.

            I think we'll have to fight over the rocky road, I don't like sharing :p

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            • shuggy-chan

              If i get all the ben and jerry's Punkin cheesecake <3

              http://www.branappetit.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/img_6279.jpg

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  • Riddler

    Whats with all these posts lately?

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