The urge to kill and have sex.
I since a young age. Have enjoyed endulging in my many needs and desires. I started to masturbate at 11-12, and started killing animals around my house in the same year. I often find myself fantasizing about sex even in the most inappropiate times.
Also, I think about killing someone. Anyone. I get chills thinking about stabbing and stabbing and stabbing. I have a rage deep inside me that is always there. I am calm but angry all the time. Sometimes i can relax and be happy, but i always end up being angry.
I follow people when i drive around to practice if i ever have to do it, for real. Also, i scope out houses to see if it could be a potential victim.
I also self harm. I like feeling the pain but I am not sad, nor going through a hard time. It makes me feel, strong. i feel like a wounded warrior in the fight of my life.
(Weird way to put it i guess)
I fake most interactions, i often feel out of place and like everyone is watching me and judging me. I feel empathy, i think. I have cried. i feel sad.
That's about it.