The trials of friendship, iin?

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7 Comments

This is a bit complicated but I shall do my best to explain it.

Many years ago, when I was a young child, I went to a summer camp and made quite a few friends there, one of which was a certain girl. For years there were no problems between us except for a few times where we lost contact with each other. The problems didn't begin until summer of '11 when we had a falling out. The reasons behind this falling out were odd.

I had become infatuated with an older person I had begun talking with online and when this friend found out she ridiculed me. This reaction hurt but my masochistic-self decided to just put up with things. Around that time I had a relapse with a eating disorder. When my friend found out she was very upset and even asked if I were joking about it. I was slightly offended by her question. The conversation progressed to where a celebrity she was obsessed with was brought up, a mistake on my part. She was already bothered by my ED but I just keep pushing her because I wanted to see how she would react. I innocently brought up that celebrity in conjunction with eating disorders and she exploded. She told me all of these horrible things and accused me of being things I weren't. I tried my best to apologize but she ignored my texts. As upset as I was, I thought that this would be the end of it but I was wrong.

I believe it was the next day when I decided to go on her twitter. I simply did it out of curiosity. However, when I got on her twitter I was shocked to find that she had posted something about me and linked up the rest of this tweet on to one of her blogs. The post was vague in that my name wasn't mentioned but it was clearly a sharply cut dig at me. I was hurt, angry and shocked that she would sink that low over something so trivial.

Communication between us didn't start back up until there was a earthquake. She told me in some words that she loved me and didn't want our friendship to be over. So, I decided to have another shot at our friendship. However, this time I was much more cautious about the things I said for fear that she would flip out at me again. Then, for whatever reason, communication stopped again in fall of last year. At that point, I had finally decided that I was tired of her crap and that I didn't want to be hurt anymore.

Out of blue, I got a message from her on one of my blogs yesterday. She wanted to know how I was doing and is asking me about my number. The thing is is that I am wary of her. I don't want to be rude but I really don't want her to have my number from some reason. I'm sure her intentions aren't bad but I just can't get rid of this uncomfortable feeling. Besides, my life hasn't changed much since we last talked and I really don't want her getting into my personal business.

There are other things about her that I haven't been able to fully wrap my head around. One of them are her real feelings are towards me. There have been things she has said and actions that she has done that have made me and a few others wonder if she has romantic feelings for me. Its not that it would bother me per se, its just that she is not my type and I worry about how explosive her reaction could be. Another thing is her instability. When we were friends, it seemed at times, as if I were walking around land mines. I don't want to have to deal with more stress.

Is this normal?

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55% Normal
Based on 20 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • L3xrayz
    7 years ago

    She's probably just going through something, puberty, family issues, breakups (if your old enough) stuff like that, but if she's been taking it out on you for nearly a year, just cut off with her and get some more new, better friends.

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    • Avant-Garde
      7 years ago

      Things are okay between us now. Yes, we are old enough (early twenties for the both of us). I don't know about my friend, but I definitely lacked major maturity when I wrote this. I appreciate your insight. Thank you.

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  • amaterasu
    10 years ago

    No offense, but this makes me believe that you are both still young girls. I don't know. I guess it is normal for girls to be like that... just wait a few years and you will see that things will be less dramatic.

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    • Avant-Garde
      7 years ago

      I want to apologize to you about my previous comments. I had no reason to take offense, because you were correct. I was being extremely immature.

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    • Avant-Garde
      10 years ago

      Offence taken, we are both legal adults! I wasn't trying to come off as immature, I was just relaying what happened. Waiting a few years will not help the current situation. All I need to know is whether or not I should give her another chance.

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      • amaterasu
        10 years ago

        Well, if that's true, let me give you my full analysis then.

        First of all... maybe you have done or said things that hurted her as well. You should try to guess if any of your actions have ever hurted her in some way. In past experiences, I was suddenly mistreated by other people for no apparent reason... only to then discover that I actually did things that annoyed them in the first place.

        And well, women usually get into this kind of relationship in which they are "frenemies". Maybe she does like you, but also feels a weird rivalry towards you. That could explain why she would snap and then miss you and be friendly again.

        A long time ago, I used to have a friend similar to this friend of yours. He was usually nice to me, but he would suddenly act bitter towards me without any kind of provocation. He was gay, so I also thought that he was in love with me. But people later explained to me that he was bitter towards me because I had a normal life, and that he just wanted me to be gay to share all the hardships that he went through.

        And well, my advice would be to be diplomatic with this girl. Be nice to her and keep your distance. Try to show indifference if she does something that bothers you. If she wants to share something to you try to be supportive. But if she makes drama, just walk away and ignore her.

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        • Avant-Garde
          10 years ago

          Of course, its true. What could I possibly gain from lying on here?

          While that does make sense, I can't think of any time where I could have hurt her feelings. It was usually her causing me to hurt. Her becoming angered over simple things or things that I had zero control over. Now I know that I may have annoyed her because at the time around our last communication, I had the tendency to text too much. I never intended to be annoying and I theorize that the reason I did it was because I was scared of losing friends.

          I can't fathom why she'd see me as a rival. We met because of a similar interest and at one point decided to both pursue the same career. I ended up changing my mind but she doesn't know about that. The only thing I can see her being envious of is my art. I never really thought about it that way. I always thought that she was emotionally and occasionally mentally unstable. The thing is I've never had a "normal life". However, I never was allowed to expressed this properly express with my friends. If sexuality makes a difference here, I am bisexual and the last I checked it was also the same with her.

          This is a good point. I have decided to keep my distance and instead of giving her my number or personal email, I'll give her a professional email. This way I can be distant, in a sense, and still keep things from being too personal.

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