The desire to hide, iin?

Ever since I was very young, I've had the desire to hide. The desire would initially come up if I was in a situation that seemed argumentative or if whoever I was talking to made sudden moves that struck fear into my heart and made me think that this person was going to become violent towards me. The desire soon also began to manifest itself almost at random, I found myself constantly looking for somewhere to hide.

My ideal hiding place was something like a fort that was unassuming, closed off and capable of hiding its occupants well... It was rare for me to find such a spot since my resources were few and more often than not the spot wouldn't fulfill all of my needs. There is only one spot I remember that fulfilled all needs and it was a bush at my after school program. It was fairly large with many branches that had dark green leaves with a sheen. I loved it so much. Me and friends would climb inside it and it was so easy to not be discovered when inside it. I always hated having to leave it and I think I even wanted to bring it home with me. Eventually, no one was allowed to play in it but I remember hiding in it once when my grandmother came to pick me up. I didn't want to come out. I stayed in there and no one found me. I wanted to stay in there and I liked how people seemed worried but eventually I started to feel bad and I believe I left the bush. When I came out everyone was shocked and as I feared, my grandmother was enraged.

Another time, I remember convincing my friends to get underneath this air hockey table. I think I did this partially because we needed a clubhouse and secondly because of my desire to hide. When we got underneath it we found out that it was very cramped. I liked it except for that fact that the structure was too exposed. We were discovered when one of the teachers found us and asked if we were "kissing". We weren't of course, though I think soon after my friends wanted out. I didn't want them to leave but they did while I stayed. I stayed there for awhile. Once, we did managed to make a fort but while the fort was lovely and did fuffil some of my needs, it didn't fulfill all of them.

I am an adult now and I still find myself desiring this. I don't know why this is but I recently discovered that I was abused more than I initially thought as a child so, maybe, my desires have something to do with this... Is this a normal desire?