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This is gonna sound quite creepy but who cares the day I lost part of my ear I for some reason felt good and I liked it but it did't stop there! I for some random reason liked it if I hurt people it just gave a good feeling inside me but I don't feel good about this so IIN?
So you like being hurt and hurting others?
Welcome to IIN
where psychos are born.
I'm both sadistic and masochistic. More masochist than sadist, though. I can understand that completely. Pain is a beautiful thing, sometimes. It's enjoyable to a certain point. For me, I prefer emotional pain more than physical, but both suffice. I'd say it's not exactly normal, but that doesn't really matter. You are what you are, yo.
You might be sadistic and/or masochistic. You probably have a personality disorder.
Maybe you feel that pain validates you when you overcome it? - That being in pain and tolerating pain is what it is to be strong? Maybe you feel that you don't deserve to feel good about yourself unless you're in pain or experiencing loss? Maybe that self-view is being reflected onto others? And you don't feel they deserve your admiration or respect unless they too have suffered / are suffering? No?
Just a thought . . .
You sound horribly ill and possibly dangerous. Pain can be invigorating, especially if you're depressed, but you've taken it to a terrifying extreme.