The biggest 1st world problem

13 Comments

It was a cold day in December, and i had decided to stop playing Xbox due to a poor Call Of Duty session. It was 11pm, and i felt a rumble in my tummy, that only warm milk and a cookie could fill.

With soft feet, i briskly wandered downstairs, eagerly anticipating the luxurious snack i was about to consume. I slowly closed the door, ask quitley as possible as my parents were asleep, i went into the cookie jar, and pulled out a lucious double chocolate chip cookie, and i warmed up a glass of milk.

I had my warm glass of milk in my left hand, and my cookie in my right hand, i slowly started the decent, as my cookie was aiming toward my milk to be dunked. But then it happened.... The cooke, was to big, to fit in the milk glass, i paniced, i was oblivious to the world, i then knew there was only one option left, i had to break the cookie in half, like an opperation, i carfully planned the procedure, and began, it was a very delicate procedure, it was going well, But then....

The Cookie broke, and the crumbs fell into the warm milk.... i sat there for 2 hours, crying and trying to contemplate the tradegy i had just encountered.

Has this ever happened to you? how did you react?

I just feel like i want to cry 5
i could kill myself 8
Don't really care 25
i question the meaning of life 12
it's horrible, but i just fight the pain and finish the milk and cooki 14
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Comments ( 13 )
  • dirtybirdy
    11 years ago | pl

    Oh you poor thing. I wept reading this. I hope you're ok now. There are more cookies to be had, I promise. Next time, be better prepared. Get a wider glass or use a big mug and test out dunkability beforhand. I hope this helps. I know your pain all too well my crumbly friend.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    you're tied to a chair and the nasty man is mashing cookie after cookie into your mouth, you're trying hard to breathe thru yr nose and to remain calm, his face is close and you see the broken veins on his cheeks . You can feel his hot breath and the spittle flys as he yells into yr face " YOU GOTTA PROBLEM WITH MY COOKIES?" you shake yr head violently to signify no, but he laughs and keeps trying to push the cookies into your already full mouth, he laughs again and smears them over yr face and into yr hair, tears run down yr cheeks and its at this point you bitterly regret ever complaining about the cookies

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  • coffeebreath
    11 years ago

    Whenever I'm going through a difficult first world problem, like when I open the neapolitan ice cream to find that someone's eaten all the chocolate and strawberry, I tell myself that I'm a survivor and I can make it through anything.

    Stay strong, OP.

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  • Gravy
    11 years ago

    What sort of cookie, skim milk or full cream. I understand you're devastation, but unless you provide the full details, all the experts in the world cannot help you. BTW,killing yourself won't bring your cookie back.

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  • [email protected]
    11 years ago

    Buy a gun and shoot yourself in the fuckin head next time instead of sitting around and crying for 2 hours.

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  • dappled
    11 years ago

    Ha! I used my nail clippers but one of my nails is about a tenth of a millimetre shorter than the other and the clippers aren't accurate enough to right it, plus the little file on the clippers has gone blunt and the only other files and rasps I have here are too coarse. I could try with a box of matches but that would make my fingernails smell sulphurous. People in Africa are so lucky not to have to worry about this! I wish I had cholera! Bah!

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    • VioletTrees
      11 years ago

      Wait, people actually use the files that come on nail clippers? I thought they were just emergency lock picks.

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  • MissyLeyneous
    11 years ago

    Now you have cookie flavored milk... the slushy dregs at the bottom of the glass are almost as delicious as the real deal.

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  • jucedaguy
    11 years ago

    Well it seems to me that the latest trend around here is doing sexy with dogs. You could try that... It might make you feel better?
    Or just not be a sooky poo lala to start with.

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  • little_freak
    11 years ago

    That's what you get for doing something as disgusting as dipping your cookies in the milk.

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  • sograceful
    11 years ago

    Now this is a very common tragedy my friend, and no need to fret! Always be prepared for unforeseen circumstances by bringing with you a spoon or fork to effectively fish the delicate cookie from the milk! Then you get 100% dipped cookie lusciousness and it's perfection!:)

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  • q25t
    11 years ago

    Does anyone else take a bite of the cookie, then a swig of milk? It solves the problem.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    11 years ago

    Thank you sir, for you're support

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