That this stuff doesn't sicken me?

6 Comments

I'm kinda nervous about talking about this, but I need some opinions because it worries me a bit.

Since I was about 16, I've been interested in the topic of serial killers, or dangerous criminals (rapists, shooters,etc.)
It first began when I watched a TV show called I Survived... (Very good, but sadly it ended after about 3 seasons.)

Then my interest went to serial killers themselves,
I remember watching a lot of specials about each serial killer, starting off with Ted Bundy and so on.
When I learned about them, I don't remember feeling disturbed or angry about what they did, I just kinda was blank to it.

More recently, I've been learning about Myra Hindley and Ian Brady, and when they talked about a tape they had, I couldn't help, but to want to hear what was on it.

To my luck, I accidentally found a page that has the transcript of the recording, and I read it all.
However, I was a bit confused about why it was kept so hidden, and why it was viewed to be 'disturbing'.

I guess I expected it to be more...horrible?
I don't know.

It's not like I supported what they did, or thought it was okay, I just didn't find it appaling, or whatever. I don't know why. I KNOW what they did was wrong.

I don't know what my problem is. I wouldn't say that I'm a psychopath, because I do feel emotions like sadness and other emotions.

You're a monster! 4
Weird. 13
Nothing is wrong. 8
You're normal. 13
I'm the same. 21
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Comments ( 6 )
  • CountessDouche
    9 years ago

    Oh! Welcome to the longest comment of all fucking time...because I was literally going to post the same thing!

    I think it's perfectly normal, in a sense, to have a morbid curiosity and fascination with the amazing levels of fuckedupedness that exist within the spectrum of the human psyche...how else would you explain the popularity of true crime dramas and books about serial killers?

    But I always wonder if half the draw is the shock value, and if you become desensitized over time. You, yourself mentioned that you looked at something that was supposedly shocking and had little reaction, because you've seen worse and mentioned the fact that you merely sought it out because it was supposed to be shocking in the first place. I always wonder what type of damage this does...our ability to now access so much information and our ability to become desensitized after having seen it all, the ease at which we can distance ourselves from the pain experienced by the victim and their family.

    I read this terrible story about a girl who died in a car accident. The very graphic crime scene photos were leaked to the internet, and became viral...people making JOKES, hounding the family...are we really that cruel?

    I often wonder if people, me included, have a need to constantly one-up themselves in terms of shock value. You hear about people doing this with porn all the time- looking at progressively dirtier things in order to replicate that HOLY SHIT first time feeling. Look at current horror flicks- hostel, saw, human centipede...all just glorified torture porn. It's almost as if each film needs to be progressively more violent, more fucked up.

    My boyfriend was asking me why the fuck I liked disgusting, horrible horror movies and shows like dexter...I had no answer!! Lol

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    It's normal to have an interest in such things. Most of our media entertainment even has it in to keep people interested.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I know having an interest in serial killers is normal,
      I was really asking if the way I reacted to it was normal.

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      • disthing
        9 years ago

        It's also normal to feel detached from these kind of events, because we perceive them through the lens of the media. We're always removed from the situation. They also predominantly focus on the killers, not the victims, turning them into a kind of macabre celebrity.

        It might be different if it were your friend or family member that was brutally murdered by a killer. It might be different if your friend or family member was that killer.

        So I wouldn't worry too much about this.

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      • [Old Memory]
        9 years ago

        I would say it is. They're just stories that actually happened, really.

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  • RainbowDischarge
    9 years ago

    You're normal and I am the same.

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