That my sadness is insignificant

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I'm sad that I'm unable to be with my fiance on our 3 year anniversary. Why? That's because our provincial mayor isn't dealing with the virus situation until May 12. That's is the exact same day of our anniversary! My fiance can't see me cause his home care provider isn't allowing him to even leave his house!

In addition to feeling sad, my inner voice is basically scolding me like "Shut the fuck up! Your fiance is still alive! You need to grow up!". With that in my head, I can't get to sleep until 2-3 am. To add, I get nightmares about others scolding me. It's made me into a depressed, lazy, dumb, pathetic excuse of a human!

I can't express my sadness with anyone in my family because they never had their anniversaries, birthday's, etc literally taken away from them! Maybe from work, but not a huge pandemic like this! I'm trying to keep taking hits to my mentality, and trying to be as ok as possible. However I don't know how much I can take.

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Comments ( 9 )
  • LloydAsher
    3 years ago

    Yep your sadness is completely and utterly insignificant in the course of the universe. It's a collection of rock, ice and plasma, and thus far a little green and blue speck itself is unimportant.

    Just think about this. No matter how bad of of a day you had. Humanity has been fucking around for 12,000+ there is no doubt someone had a by far worst time then you.

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  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    Ah, yet another reminder of why I'm happy, and grateful to be single. That stuff might change for me sometime in future, but I'm in no hurry for all of that mess to change.

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    • bbrown95
      3 years ago

      I feel the same way. Many of my friends don't understand it at all and for some reason think I must be miserable and just trying to hide it (and they keep trying to talk me into going on dates with guys, which I wish they would knock off and just respect the fact that that's not what I want right now), but I just haven't desired a relationship since I left my last one years ago. There are a lot of great things about being single that people overlook.

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      • RoseIsabella
        3 years ago

        Yes! There's just a lot of bullshit in the world of dating, and relationships that I'm beyond happy to be free of to tell you the God's honest truth. I LOVE not having to compromise on anything with another person.

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        • bbrown95
          3 years ago

          Me too!

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  • Boojum
    3 years ago

    I've never understood why some people - particularly women - are so obsessed with anniversaries.

    It's like they feel an anniversary is the same as crossing the starting line in a long-distance race and they're one lap nearer to the finish-line. Or that they're a whole year closer to the end of a prison sentence. Or that they deserve some sort of reward for having coped with the dickhead they're with for another twelve months.

    The only thing that matters is what goes on in a relationship from moment to moment, day to day, week after week. Anniversaries are hyped-up by greeting card manufacturers, restaurants and florists because they're good for those businesses, but they're just another day, and actually don't matter a damn.

    I understand that social isolation means some people are becoming even more self-obsessed than normal just because they aren't out in the real world and having to deal with other people with their own needs and desires, but getting wound up over not being able to celebrate an anniversary in the way you'd prefer is really pretty damn pathetic.

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    • blinkeredharlot
      3 years ago

      Is that also how you feel about birthdays?

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      • Boojum
        3 years ago

        Yeah, I think it's silly to make a big deal over birthdays for anyone over 21. I'm very happy for my birthday to be just another day, although the women who I've had in my life have always had problems with that. Since their birthdays have been important to all of them, I have made it a point to always do something for them, but I still think it's daft.

        Kids are different, and I'm totally happy spending money and putting effort into making my daughter's birthday special for her. Birthdays are part of the social scene for kids, and I'm very aware of the discomfort kids can feel if they don't fit in with the cultural norm.

        Also, children change drastically from year to year, and the milestones on their way toward adulthood should be acknowledged. There's a real difference between a nine year-old and a ten year-old, but someone who's turning thirty-two or forty-seven is just another year older.

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  • bbrown95
    3 years ago

    I'm really sorry you're going through this, and COVID-19 is unfortunately ruining a lot of people's celebrations and milestones in life right now. However, remember that just because you can't celebrate on the exact date doesn't mean you still can't celebrate! Just postpone it until you can.

    Can you call or Skype him? Maybe that would make you feel better.

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